Guy #1: Yeah, my mom said this church would help us find God or
something…
Guy #2: How are you supposed to find God?
Guy #1: Hell, I dunno, she said something about a treasure hunt…
–23rd & 10th
Overheard by: Karina
Guy #1: Yeah, my mom said this church would help us find God or
something…
Guy #2: How are you supposed to find God?
Guy #1: Hell, I dunno, she said something about a treasure hunt…
–23rd & 10th
Overheard by: Karina
Crazy lady: I hate my fucking mother and I want to kill her. I want to watch her bleed. She is a fat lazy bitch. She was nothing but a container!
Guy: God will not forgive you if you kill your mother. Can you also keep it down please?
–PATH train
Overheard by: JMK
Guy on cell: Yeah, well, I wipe asses just like you do…only metaphorically.
–William Street & Maiden Lane
Overheard by: shawn mac
Rich lady: When I die, scatter my ashes over Bloomingdale’s.
–Neue Gallerie, 86th & 5th
Overheard by: Emily
Peddler: That piece down there was made from an Apple computer box. Forget the painting; I mean, just the box is gorgeous. I have a bit of a cardboard box fetish.
–Spring & Broadway
Overheard by: Tommy Raiko
Woman on cell: So he was like, “Why are we taking a cab? It’s only 4 or 5 blocks. I know you like exercise. You go to the gym every day.” And I was like, “I only exercise the way God intended…on a treadmill.” I mean, whatever! Right?
–54th & Park
Overheard by: kittikat
Preacher: What does God think of your sex life? Are you a winner or are you a chicken dinner?
–42nd Street station
Overheard by: Brian Lang
Teen boy: I must be the Antichrist! Every time I pass by a church it blows up. It’s happened twice already!
–30th & 7th
Guy: Why? Because I’m lazy, and I’m Jewish!
–MacDougal Street
Bus driver, to guy entering bus: Sorry, ladies only.
–45th & 5th
Overheard by: Jobee
Tranny: Girl, you gotta keep that penis.
–Midtown
Chick on cell: I like the idea of having a penis.
–Harlem
Overheard by: hott bi luvr
Woman: Unless they’re gay, in which case you should just pretend I said men instead of girls. But it’s all still true.
–47th & 8th
Man on cell: Everyone is asking me if I’m a lesbian this week. What is that about?
–Christopher & Bedford
Overheard by: staso
Woman to co-worker: So he has all girls as daughters.
–225 Broadway, 4th floor
Overheard by: Jennifer
Queer: God, I either need to fuck a boy or a trannie tonight!
–13th & Broadway
Overheard by: liza
Waspy girl to gaggle of friends: You know, medium-rare is, like, totally the new medium. You know what I mean? (friends stare blankly) No, I guess you wouldn't.
–6 Train
Overheard by: I Like Mine Bleeding
B&T CSR: Pork killed my father.
–80 Pine St
Overheard by: It's me
Stroller-pushing mom to friend: I gotta do something about her leg! It looks like freeze-dried meat.
–DeKalb & Washington, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Morning Glory
NYU girl to friend: My hair smells like meat.
–NYU Kimmel Center
Overheard by: evanescent
Girl to friend: This is my pi system: it's like a sausage.
–NYU Classroom
Man to can of corned beef: God, you understand me so well.
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Murphy
Guy #1: Did you hear that Beyonce is playing Eartha Kitt in a biopic?
Guy #2: What the fuck? Are you serious? I need to get in contact with god!
Guy #1: Yeah, I think we are in our last days, like old people say.
–5th Ave b/w 18th & 19th St
Jesus freak: Before you make love to your wife, you must make love to God.
Blonde: Ewww!
–2 train
Overheard by: invid
Drunk guy to laughing Asian: There is no theory of evolution–only a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Girlfriend: Babe, no more Chuck Norris, please!
Drunk guy: But Chuck Nor…
Girlfriend: No, give me one good reason you should talk about Chuck Norris.
Drunk guy (without hesitation): Cause god wanted 10 days to create the world, and Chuck Norris only gave him 6, do you want an 8-day work week? Huh?
Girlfriend to friend: How did I just lose this argument?
Friend: Yeah, that was unexpected.
–Zanzibar Bar
Overheard by: Wish i was chuck norris
Tall man to fat woman (after pouring two glasses of water): You want a glass?
Fat woman: No, thanks.
Tall man: God told me to pour two glasses. He talks to me all the time.
Fat woman: Okay, if your god told you, I have to take it.
–Montefiore Medical Center
Overheard by: Juantanom Bay
