Jogger Guy: This is totally just a warmup for a night of hot bondage sex.
Jogger Girl: I know!
–President and Court St.
Overheard by: Todd Martin
Martha Stewart is on a tabloid cover.
Hipster: Did you know she’s now on that Forbes list?
Sunglasses at night girl: The one with rich people?
Hipster: Yes.
Sunglasses at night girl: She’s not even a movie star.
–Key Foods, Williamsburg
Waiter #1: Sit anywhere you’d like.
Guy: Thanks.
Waiter #2 diverts him to a small table in an occupied section.
Guy: So by “anywhere you’d like” you guys meant this exact table.
Waiter #2: Thank you.
–Clark’s, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: TG
Guy #1: Dude, I think you have a porn addition.
Guy #2: 5 gigabytes is not an addiction!
–Midwood Public Library
Overheard by: Roman S
Woman #1: I told my family that if I get old and can’t take care of myself to hire me a…
Woman #2: A male nurse.
Woman #1: … a young, good-looking boy.
Woman #2: A male nurse.
Woman #1: Specifically for the purpose of giving me a sponge bath.
Woman #2: I have a funny story about that.
–Park Plaza Diner, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: TG
Student: It’s not computers that’s fucking you up, it’s General Hospital.
–Pratt dorm, Willoughby Avenue
Overheard by: Eric Wrenn
Girl, 7: Sometimes, I wonder: who really did kill Kenny?
–M79 bus
Black dude: I ain’t even gonna say it. You know who you look like, right?
White dude: Let me guess: Seinfeld.
Black dude: Oh, shit! Aah! I’sa gonna say Kramer!
–Fort Greene bodega
Black kid #1: …you mean the gay nigger?
Black kid #2: No, the black-brown nigger.
–outside Boerum Hill Food Company, Smith Street
Girlfriend: You were supposed to read that article over the weekend. But I guess reenacting World War Two was more important!
–Fort Greene
Overheard by: Faustus
Guy: Wait, I missed that. So you were born, and then what happened?
–Brooklyn Botanical Gardens
Overheard by: Sherri Feldman
