Brooklyn

There’s Wednesday One-liners All Over Town

FishBowlNY chick: Not only do you blog about everything, you blog in five different blogs about everything.

–Slainte, The Bowery

Hipster guy: Everyone keeps asking me why I’m sad, and I’m like, “I’m not sad, I’m from New York.”

–St. Mark’s between 1st & A

Overheard by: Danny G.

Woman: I have some friends, and they lived in Brooklyn all they lives, and they ain’t ever been to Kings Plaza Shopping Mall. They so limited!

–5 train

Tourist woman: Excuse me, can you tell me where the big apple is?

–43rd & Broadway

Overheard by: katie cunningham

Woman: What I love most about New York is that wherever you go, in every neighborhood, there’s garbage on the curb. To me, that’s democracy.

–University & 11th

Lady: You never see girls wearing shorts in New York City unless they’re tourists.

–57th & Broadway

Guy on cell: Well I’m sorry, Princess, if New York doesn’t smell like a bed of roses!

–Church & Worth

Overheard by: Becka Dash

NY Post guy: This boat is bootlegged! It won’t turn left!

–Penn Station

NY Post guy: Read all about it! Discovery shuttle is a bootleg…doesn’t work…can’t turn left. Read all about it!

–Penn Station

Overheard (correctly) by: Toon

I Hope She Doesn’t Hanker for a Seeing-Eye Dog

Black chick: Yeah, I broke my sister’s knee with a baseball bat.
White chick: Wow, me and my sister had some bad fights but your’s top all our fights. You must really hate each other.
Black chick: No, I did it out of love.
White chick: What do you mean?
Black chick: My sister’s in the Army Reserve. They called her unit up to go to Iraq. I hit her on purpose so she wouldn’t have to go. I had to hit her twice to make sure her knee was broken.

–Tillary Street, Downtown Brooklyn

Hmm…That is What an Evil Twin Would Say

Girl #1: My throat hurts. Does yours?
Girl #2: Um…no. Are we twins? Is it supposed to hurt?

–Bed-Stuy

Overheard by: roc luch

The Stalinists are Teaching Our Children

HS Girl #1: I’ve never heard of Latvia.
HS Girl #2: I’ve heard of it; I just don’t think it’s a real place.

–Carroll Gardens

Overheard by: andersonsmitty

But I’d Care If My Burger Were Run Over

Old Italian lady #1: Your cat’s gonna get hit!
Asian Lady: Wha?
Old Italian lady #1: Your cat: it’s in the street! Someone’s gonna run over it!
Asian lady: Huh?
Old Italian lady #1: Your ca–
Old Italian lady #2: She doesn’t care about the cat. Those Orientals, they eat cats.

–Carroll Gardens bodega

Seems Like Some Weirdly Localized Racism to Me

Girl: Did you just call him a dirty Guatemalan?
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: Are you sure you didn’t have the wrong number?
Guy: I don’t know what the fuck is going on.

–Chip Shop, Brooklyn Heights

Overheard by: Domi

Attack of the Moongoloid 2: Luna’s Revenge

Girl on cell: Mom! Guess what? We are having a full moon in New York tonight.
Girl #2: You so stupid…it’s everywhere!

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Jim Chambers

Those Wednesday One-liners Ain’t Got No Home

Hobo: Punch me in the face! $20! Pay $20 to punch me in the face!

–11th & A

Overheard by: Ben F

Hobo: Can you help me out? You ain’t no brother, but you a cousin. And a white man said, “Ask not what your cousin can do for you, ask what you can do for your cousin.” What can you do for me, man?

–Brooklyn Heights

Overheard by: iiams

Hobo: Can anyone spare some change, or some food, an apple, a banana, a bacon and cheese omelet with hash browns?

–R train

Hobo: Miss, can I have a quarter so I can call you later?

–57th & 7th

Overheard by: CK Allen

Hobo: Damn, man! We got enough here for a bottle o’ vodka…and you want wine?

–Avenue A between 5th & 6th

Overheard by: Dave McKenna

Hobo: If you don’t have any money, but you’re really attractive, just give me a hug and we’ll call it even.

–F train

Overheard by: Fiona Lee

Wednesday One-liners Are Braindead

Chick: The problem with reading is that you can’t do it when you’re fucked up.

–31st & 2nd

Woman on cell: I’m so, like, a vegetarian, for real you know? But only, like, on Wednesdays.

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: Angela

Guy on cell: Dude did so much K that he turned into Terri Schiavo.

–Union Square

Chick: I know this guy who’s perfect for you…he’s a complete idiot.

–Columbia University

Guy: Wow, I didn’t even know things existed here.

–Port Authority, 2nd Floor

Guy: Well at one point he took off his boots, a while later tried to put them back on. I told him that they were the wrong feet. Then he looked at me and said, “No…these are my feet.”

–Hank’s Saloon, Brooklyn Heights

Overheard by: Kimberly Handle

It Didn’t Work Out with Wednesday One-liners

Woman on cell: For five years you wouldn’t marry me because your mother was sick. Well, your mother’s fucking dead and you still won’t marry me!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Robbie

Goombah: So what? I went and had a couple beers with Junior! You know what? Fuck you, bitch! I want you outta my house when I get home!

–Brooklyn Heights

Man on cell: So what has changed from then to now?…of course! The vibrator! So that’s it, huh?

–Central Park

Overheard by: jeannette

Guy: That’s one of the reasons I had to dump her. I’d see all these
girls on the street and be like, “Hey now!”

–Broadway & Spring

Guy on cell: I moved all the way here and now you won’t even marry me?

–Broadway & 57th

© 2026 OverheardinNewYork.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist