Black chick: Yeah, I broke my sister’s knee with a baseball bat.
White chick: Wow, me and my sister had some bad fights but your’s top all our fights. You must really hate each other.
Black chick: No, I did it out of love.
White chick: What do you mean?
Black chick: My sister’s in the Army Reserve. They called her unit up to go to Iraq. I hit her on purpose so she wouldn’t have to go. I had to hit her twice to make sure her knee was broken.
–Tillary Street, Downtown Brooklyn
Girl #1: My throat hurts. Does yours?
Girl #2: Um…no. Are we twins? Is it supposed to hurt?
–Bed-Stuy
Overheard by: roc luch
HS Girl #1: I’ve never heard of Latvia.
HS Girl #2: I’ve heard of it; I just don’t think it’s a real place.
–Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: andersonsmitty
Old Italian lady #1: Your cat’s gonna get hit!
Asian Lady: Wha?
Old Italian lady #1: Your cat: it’s in the street! Someone’s gonna run over it!
Asian lady: Huh?
Old Italian lady #1: Your ca–
Old Italian lady #2: She doesn’t care about the cat. Those Orientals, they eat cats.
–Carroll Gardens bodega
Girl: Did you just call him a dirty Guatemalan?
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: Are you sure you didn’t have the wrong number?
Guy: I don’t know what the fuck is going on.
–Chip Shop, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Domi
Girl on cell: Mom! Guess what? We are having a full moon in New York tonight.
Girl #2: You so stupid…it’s everywhere!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Jim Chambers
Hobo: Punch me in the face! $20! Pay $20 to punch me in the face!
–11th & A
Overheard by: Ben F
Hobo: Can you help me out? You ain’t no brother, but you a cousin. And a white man said, “Ask not what your cousin can do for you, ask what you can do for your cousin.” What can you do for me, man?
–Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: iiams
Hobo: Can anyone spare some change, or some food, an apple, a banana, a bacon and cheese omelet with hash browns?
–R train
Hobo: Miss, can I have a quarter so I can call you later?
–57th & 7th
Overheard by: CK Allen
Hobo: Damn, man! We got enough here for a bottle o’ vodka…and you want wine?
–Avenue A between 5th & 6th
Overheard by: Dave McKenna
Hobo: If you don’t have any money, but you’re really attractive, just give me a hug and we’ll call it even.
–F train
Overheard by: Fiona Lee
Chick: The problem with reading is that you can’t do it when you’re fucked up.
–31st & 2nd
Woman on cell: I’m so, like, a vegetarian, for real you know? But only, like, on Wednesdays.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Angela
Guy on cell: Dude did so much K that he turned into Terri Schiavo.
–Union Square
Chick: I know this guy who’s perfect for you…he’s a complete idiot.
–Columbia University
Guy: Wow, I didn’t even know things existed here.
–Port Authority, 2nd Floor
Guy: Well at one point he took off his boots, a while later tried to put them back on. I told him that they were the wrong feet. Then he looked at me and said, “No…these are my feet.”
–Hank’s Saloon, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Kimberly Handle
Woman on cell: For five years you wouldn’t marry me because your mother was sick. Well, your mother’s fucking dead and you still won’t marry me!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Robbie
Goombah: So what? I went and had a couple beers with Junior! You know what? Fuck you, bitch! I want you outta my house when I get home!
–Brooklyn Heights
Man on cell: So what has changed from then to now?…of course! The vibrator! So that’s it, huh?
–Central Park
Overheard by: jeannette
Guy: That’s one of the reasons I had to dump her. I’d see all these
girls on the street and be like, “Hey now!”
–Broadway & Spring
Guy on cell: I moved all the way here and now you won’t even marry me?
–Broadway & 57th
Woman on cell: Yeah, he told me the next day that he cried himself to sleep. I got so mad. I was like, “I don’t wanna hear that shit!”
–Target, Atlantic Avenue
Overheard by: alex
Chick: Is it really cheating if it only happened once?
–26th & Lexington
Guy on cell: Look, I’m driving so I can’t talk right now, ok? Good-bye…Fucking bitch, never leaves me alone.
–Burger King, Union Turnpike
Overheard by: Megan Cowles
Girl: So are we breakin’ up or what? It’s getting late!
–59th & Lexington
Overheard by: Mike
