Guy: Your fly is unzipped.
Girl: Oh…
Oldish lady: Easy access, kid! Goodness, you should be fucking already!
–Christopher St
Guy: Your fly is unzipped.
Girl: Oh…
Oldish lady: Easy access, kid! Goodness, you should be fucking already!
–Christopher St
D’Agostino check‐out counter girl, loudly into the store intercom: Jason, what’s your password?
–D’Agostino, Greenwich & Barrow
Old Jewish man #1: Did you see the Yankees last night?
Old Jewish man #2: Watching the Yankees play baseball is like sitting shiva.
–14th & 7th
Man on cell: What do we got?
Hobo: Get broke and die, that’s what we got!
A minute later.
Woman passerby: Who?
Hobo: My dick, that’s who!
–Jane & 8th
Overheard by: yassira
Guy #1: Your jeans are ripped.
Guy #2: Your ass is ripped.
–West Village
Overheard by: Mike
Middle‐aged woman to others: Just because she’s got her own apartment, she thinks she has it all together.
–Near NYU
Overheard by: Eric
20‐something guy to another, about his apartment: All I want to do in my apartment is die.
–Fort Greene, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Dodd Loomis
Woman on cell, walking briskly: There was blood all over the apartment…
–E 9th St b/w 1st & 2nd Ave
Cashier to male shopper: Dude, your apartment is rent‐stabilized and you have food stamps? You are so rich!
–Whole Foods, Houston & Bowery
20‐something trendy Jonas Brother‐looking dude on cell: No, I sleep on the couch that’s in the kitchen. (short pause) I’ll tell you about my apartment later.
–9th Ave b/w 14th & 15th
Overheard by: Dash
Guy: Did you know that there are homeless people who live underground in the abandoned subway stations?
Girl: You mean like underground people? Wait, I’ve heard of them, they have a weird name!
Guy: Like “underground people”?
Girl: No, I saw it on Felicity.
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: peter
Girl #1: Hey, I lived on the street with the street kids for like, six months. On the street. They were on drugs and stuff.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: Because it was fun…It was really only on weekends, though.
–St. Marks
Guy: I’m sick of these homeless hipsters. It’s like, you’re fucking
hipsters!
–St. Marks & 1st
Man helping woman carry stroller down stairs: If you had taken the bloody pill when you said you were taking it, we wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place.
–Broadway‐Lafayette B/D/F/V Station
Overheard by: Jon A.
Man walking with girlfriend, loudly: Wait, did you bring your diaphragm?
–Times Square
Loud woman on cell: How many times do you have to have sex, and have a baby, before you realize: “If I have sex without a condom I will get someone pregnant.”? Seriously!
–Broadway & 103rd St
Overheard by: Amy
Guy on phone: I always tell people that sex with you with a condom is better than sex with other girls without a condom.
–Outside Trader Joe’s, 14th St
Zoo guide: This zoo likes to be careful with breeding animals by taking into account genes and the like. But then again, Zippy – the baby snow monkey – came along. So be careful with your birth control.
–Central Park Zoo, by the Snow Monkeys
Girl to another: I just don’t see why we can’t make our own condoms.
–14th St & 4th Ave
20‐something woman on cell: Did I tell you mom got into a fight with a raccoon again? (pause) Yeah, I know, our mom is totally going to die of rabies.
–Starbucks, West Village
Overheard by: Vaccinated for rabies
Guy to another: Flap your wings baby, just flap your wings!
–Broadway
Woman, shouting at no one in particular: You know I’m unstoppable! I’m like an ox!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
NYU girl: My mother was like, “what would you do with a giant inflatable turkey?” and I was like, “what wouldn’t you do with a giant inflatable turkey?”
–3rd Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: Mickey
30‐something fag hag: I mean, cum is a fine substance. In small quantities it can even be kind of pleasant. But you wouldn’t want a bucket of it.
Queer: Speak for yourself.
–Miracle Grill
Overheard by: Trying not to choke on my nachos
