Girl: Hey, fancy seeing you here! Where do you work?
Guy: Wall Street.
Girl: Where are you coming from?
Guy: A business meeting. I’m so wasted!
–C train
Girl: Hey, fancy seeing you here! Where do you work?
Guy: Wall Street.
Girl: Where are you coming from?
Guy: A business meeting. I’m so wasted!
–C train
Suit: Can you move a little?
Teen girl: I can’t. My hair’s stuck in the door.
Suit: Oh. That’s a good reason. Okay.
–L train
A black HS girl pushes her way past a white yuppie to get off the train.
Yuppie: Whoa, slow down, Boniva!
Girl: Shut the fuck up, Opie!
–L train
Hobo: You man, got a dollar?
Suit: Yeah, got change for a hundred?
–Water & Wall
Suit #1: …so I went to her house and she was still begging and I kept saying “no”, and then she–
He makes a handjob gesture.
Suit #1: –and then I went home.
Suit #2: Have you seen [Laura], the new chick in the office?
Suit #3: I probably shouldn’t be saying this since I’m Vice President, but she’s got a great figure on her.
–S train
Overheard by: Michelle
Asian suit: They were talking about how these 7th grade girls were trading blowjobs for pot.
White suit: When I was in 7th grade, I didn’t even know what pot was, or what blowjobs were. I was too busy playing video games and watching Star Wars.
Asian suit: I was in SAT prep class.
–51st & Lexington
Snack guy: Peanuts! Get your peanuts here! Buy one, get the second for the same price!
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: HelloClairice
Suit #1: He basically crawled up my ass and started punching me from the inside.
Suit #2: Nice picture, dude. Christ.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Brett
Girl on cell: I’m here in Harlem right next to Yankee Stadium.
–4 train
Woman: It’s a good thing we got here early. I don’t want to miss the kickoff.
–Shea Stadium
Chick #1: Boo, you’re gonna miss!
Chick #2: Aren’t you cheering for the wrong team?
Chick #1: I wasn’t cheering, I was making an ominous prediction.
–Richmond County Ballpark
Overheard by: Becka Dash
Guy #1: I thought that girl was his daughter. He has to be in his 50s.
Guy #2: I know, it’s skeeving me right out.
Guy #1: What do you think? She’s 22 or 23?
Guy #2: Dude, she’s a hard 18 tops.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Todd Horan
Asian man: Excuse me, do you know where is the Staten Island Ferry?
Suit: Yeah, just keep walking in this direction along the water. It’s the big orange motherfucker, you can’t miss it.
–Battery Park
Suit: I mean, I felt like a complete idiot. I had no idea. You go to the Met and they’ll just give you a wheelchair. All this time I’ve been walking around the damn place! You don’t even have to have a note saying you’re handicapped or something.
–2nd Avenue & 13th Street
Queer on cell: Oh my God, did you hear? Liz has a date…yeah, with a guy…a straight guy…
–Time Warner Center
Overheard by: Cole
Suit on cell: Hi, I’m in Chelsea. I just bought the We Love Disco CD and two porn magazines.
–22nd between 7th & 8th
Black guy: Damn, those horses is gay.
–Times Square
Overheard by: seth scott barkley
Queer on cell: Hey, I got here early. The Starbucks is closed for renovations, so why don’t we just skip to the blowjob?
–7th & Grove
Chick: He was getting blown by a trannie and right before he came he said, “get out of my car, you faggot” and that’s how he knew he wasn’t gay.
–W Hotel bar, Union Square
Overheard by: Somebody nowhere
Guy: I mean, he’s weird. He’ll let me make out with him, but he won’t share his salsa.
–Bond & Lafayette
Queer: First of all, if I was going to have an orgy at four in the morning, I would not have carne asada first. Pttth! Second of all…um…carne asada is not pre-orgy food.
–Barrage, West 47th Street
Overheard by: Nick Salvato
Queer: I’m never having sex with another virgin again. When the virgin is on the receiving end it can be such a pain in the…yeah.
–Bleecker & Macdougal
Woman on cell: Mom, he doesn’t have an accent, he’s gay!
–Madison & 52nd
Arnie Kriss: Vote Arnie Kriss for District Attorney.
Hobo: This man would not buy me a cup of coffee.
Arnie Kriss: Arnie Kriss for DA!
Hobo: This man would not buy a cup of coffee.
Arnie Kriss: Vote Kriss for DA.
Hobo: This man would not buy a cup of coffee.
–Bergen Street station
