Female suit: I gotta piss like a fucking camel!
Male suit: Cross your damn legs.
–A Train
Overheard by: Nice to know…
Female suit: I gotta piss like a fucking camel!
Male suit: Cross your damn legs.
–A Train
Overheard by: Nice to know…
Tween boy with box of candy: Yo, wanna buy a candy bar?
Suit: No, thanks. I’m good.
Tween boy: Well, I’m not, asshole. Buy a goddamn candy bar!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Charlie
Suit #1: Anal leakage… I’m sorry, man.
Suit #2: Yup. No joke, though. That’s the first and last time I’ll be doing that.
Suit #1: Was she hot?
Suit #2: Couldn’t tell. I had my eyes closed the whole time.
–6 train
Crazy hobo with guitar to stranger: Damn… you invited a lot of people.
–1 Train
Hobo to young married couple: I have found the promised land. Seriously. I'd get a plane ticket right now, but it'd be cheaper to go to confession for a week and then get hit by a bus. Remind me to tell you about this later.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Oliver
Grimy hobo: Hey, do you guys have any change? Hey, do you guys have any change?
(20-something girl walks past him, with businessman a few steps behind) Hey, do you guys want to have sex? Uh, I mean…
–W 3rd & Thompson
Hobo, taking donations to help the homeless, counting coins: 25…50…60… (grabs fistful of coins sticks in pocket) Tax rebate!
–Union Square
Suit: My dick was totally in one hand pissing while I was talking to the client.
–48th & Madison
Suit: My friends told me that you told them that I’d hijacked you. We’ve only dated for a week. For so many reasons it’s not going to work out.
Girl: I don’t understand how someone can just say it’s not going to work out. You know everything about me: my family, my life, all about me. I shared everything this week. I would have held back if I’d known.
Suit: …It’s like I have sticker shock…You are just a much more fun, engaged person than me.
Girl: I don’t understand someone who can just say it’s not going to work out. How can you just say it’s not going to work out?
Suit: Can’t we be friends? That’s why I asked you to meet me here.
Girl: Well, at least we slept together this week. I never wait. I’m so glad we didn’t wait.
–Esashi, Avenue A
Suit: You know any good bars around here?
Nerd: No. This area is too cool for me.
–Ave A, between 6th & 7th
Suit #1: Yeah, back in high school I picked on the wimps in gym. It's how I made friends, y'know?
Suit #2: Yeah, totally. That's how I made friends too.
Suit #1: I wonder whatever happened to those guys.
–6th Ave
Suit #1: How long have you lived here?
Suit #2: How old are you? Probably longer than you have been alive.
Suit #1: Born and raised in New York, huh?
Suit #2: No, a farm in PA. Got the fuck out of there, though. Met a girl from New York–well actually, Long Island–married her and moved out here. Thought she had money. Yeah…fooled the shit out of me.
Suit #3: Ha, you were that close to being better than all of us.
–Wall & Water
Suit #1: That was a pretty good meeting…
Suit #2: Yeah, we got a lot done.
Hobo: Was Liam Neeson in it?
–51st & Madison
Overheard by: BDA
