Businessman: She said there’s an area in Brooklyn where all they speak is Russian. You can go blocks without hearing English. They refuse to speak it.
–Midtown office
Businessman: She said there’s an area in Brooklyn where all they speak is Russian. You can go blocks without hearing English. They refuse to speak it.
–Midtown office
Woman on cell: I have to get home so I can put away the b-o-n-g.
–19th & Broadway
Overheard by: Kyle
Man in light green suit with orange-red gators: Read the bible tonight. Don't smoke that Scooby Doobie Doo. Don't get high tonight!
–125th & Lenox
Overheard by: Plausible
Young hipster: So I said, "Mom, did you smoke with me?"
–Central Park Reservoir
Angry girlfriend to boyfriend: Okay, so you don't want me smoking pot, you don't want me smoking cigarettes or cloves, you don't want me chewing gum and now you don't like lollipops? So tell me, Peter, what can I put in my mouth that's okay with you?
–L Train
Overheard by: It's me, bitches.
Teacher: Steve*, I need to talk to your pot dealer, because the stuff you're smoking is really good.
–Cooper Union
Overheard by: me too
Guy talking on blue tooth: I should be there in about 45 minutes. (pause) Yeah, I'm serious! (pause) Look. I got an idea for ya. Why don't you go roll a big fat blunt, smoke it until you can't see anymore and then I'll be there. Alright? Bye.
–8th Ave & 27th St
Overheard by: Erica Friedman
Girl: I mean honestly, who at NYU doesn't smell like weed?
–Washington Square Park
Suit: I pay my money, I cross my legs, and I say, ‘Entertain me.’
–52nd St, between 8th & 9th Ave
Woman on cell: Money is kind of like a metaphor for life.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Eavesdropper
Street performer: Hey, little children, if your parents don’t give you money to give us, it means they don’t love you!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Allison
Guy on bench: Let Jesus out of your wallet! All you good Christians, I need some of your Jesus money!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Laura
Loud guy: For that kind of money I should stand on my hands and juggle bowling balls out my anus!
–Subway station at 72nd & Broadway
Guy on cell: What does you caring about me have to do with me at some club with "hypothetical" naked chicks?
–42nd & Lexington
Guy yelling across street to girl on phone: Tell her I waited naked on the bed all night but she never came!
–Washington Square
Suit to another: It's so weird because there are so many people at the office who you'd never think to picture naked… Like Marcy: you'd never picture her naked. Alex: you'd never picture him naked. Derek: I've never pictured him naked.
–F Train
Overheard by: EmLo
Guy, to two women: I was like, "You're lying on top of me. We're naked. When does this get fun?"
–Philosophy Building, Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
(girl is wearing small, tight, mini-skirt and talking to a group of boys)
Girl: If it was up to me, I wouldn't be wearing any clothes, if it weren't for gravity.
–Sybil's, Liberty Ave, Queens
Overheard by: Terrence
20-something girl to friend: So I chased after him, but I was naked…so how far could I go?
–Brooklyn Promanade
Douchebag college student to girl: The cop looked at my ID and said "Come on, Mr California!" and I was like: "Mr California? Come on! I’ve been here for like four months!"
–G Train
Overheard by: Guy who puts 4 months to shame
Jersey girl: I don’t do Arkansas.
–Tram to Roosevelt Island
Eight-year-old to uncle: Please don’t move to Connecticut… It’s too hard to spell!
–38th & 2nd Ave
Aging queen to record store clerk: Oivia Newton-John’s fine and all, but she’s like 55 and living in Connecticut, so she lost her edge.
–Rebel Rebel Records: Bleecker and Christopher st.
Suit on cell: Do they make you sterile? Can you have sex? When you’re on the pills, can you have sex? You should go to Utah. They have great sex in Utah. The Mormons are famous for it. I think we should have easter dinner at 4.30 at Fekkai’s.
–43rd St between Madison & 5th
Black man, pulling up his pants while being chased out of the library by two Hispanic security guards: I’m sick of dem Hispanics, man! I’m sick of ’em! I love California.
–New York Public Library, 42nd St branch
Overheard by: Jason
Hobo: Any change? Anything you got to give?
Suit: I wish I had something to give, but pretty soon, I'm going to be like you.
Hobo: My man, you cannot be this awesome.
–Bleecker & Lafayette
Queer to hipster chick: Honey, you’re not a hipster! … I’m sorry I said that.
–New School University
Overheard by: smoon
Hobo: Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I’m sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you could help me out. If you could give me just one penny, I’d really appreciate it. [Yuppie woman hands him a quarter.] I asked for one penny. You gave me 24 cents too much [hands the quarter back and walks away].
–Brooklyn-bound F train
Conservatively-dressed lady: I’m so sorry! My birth canal was showing!
–Atlantic Ave & Clinton St
Overheard by: amalthya & schizo
Dude on cell: I didn’t know you wanted to become priest… What?! You have to go through all that shit just to be a deacon?! My god! … Sorry man, I didn’t mean it like that…
–Union Square
Man on cell: I’m sorry, but I’m in New Jersey right now… When? Okay, Monday night… Of course I’ll be there, you have my word.
–M14 bus, Ave A
Lady suit: Now I am totally sorry I stalked you — it was so not worth the effort.
–47-50 Rockefeller Center train station
Overheard by: SandmanEsq
Girl: I can assure you…that at my apartment…there will be soap!
–39th & 6th
Suit: It’s up in Connecticut, right over the river in Norwalk, I think.
Lady suit: Oh, I don’t that Connecticut, I only know Danbury.
Suit: Isn’t that in Connecticut?
Lady suit: I told you, I don’t know Connecticut.
–Maiden Lane & South Street
Yuppie guy: I don’t know, man. I’m still on Connecticut time.
–W. 56th between 5th & 6th
Good looking suit to lunch date: How about this–let's say that you and I are equally attractive. Now let's say that on any given day we each see 1,000 people of the opposite sex (a lot more, obviously, but that's a good number). You, as a woman, could sleep with approximately 850 of them–that 1,000 is discounted by the 100 who are gay (10%, as they say), and the 50 who are faithful to their wives/girlfriends. Now for me–I see 1,000 women, but 850 is way too high a number for me–maybe, if I'm lucky, I could find a few skanks in the group willing to bang a guy they don't know. Aside from that, I'm looking at 2-3 dates, dinners, phone calls, all that shit. That's why it's easier for girls.
Date: Wow.
Good looking suit: It's simple math.
Date: You would only allow 50 faithfuls? Sheesh.
Good looking suit: Men are scum.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: wedding rings are for sissies
