Tourist chick: Yeah, I like New York, but I could never live here.
Salesguy: Yeah…
Tourist chick: But I mean I love the West Village.
Salesperson: Totally…
Tourist chick: It’s just like so expensive to live here.
Cashier guy: That’ll be $407 please.
–Jack Spade, Greene Street
Overheard by: Quirine
Guy: That’s crazy, man. That’s worse than crazy, that’s fucking psychotic! Seventy dollars for a fucking permit. Seventy, eighty dollars for a moving violation, that I understand. But seventy dollars for a fucking permit? The fucking well is running dry!
–Prospect Avenue station
Overheard by: Alison
Teen girl: Let’s order together but have them put it in separate bags. We’ll pay less tax that way.
–Wendy’s, Union Square
Overheard by: Nathan Kipe
Tourist:…no, really! The streets are so clean!
–24th & Broadway
Overheard by: Manhattman
Tourist dad: Well, I guess this is Chinatown.
Tourist mom: I thought it would be bigger.
Tourist dad: Me too.
–32nd & 5th
Overheard by: Justin
Tourist boy: I thought Grand Central station was huge. Like, a whole city underground and stuff.
Tourist girl: Wait.
–6 train, pulling into Grand Central station
Overheard by: Jonathan
Tourist: Where is Saks Fifth Avenue?
New Yorker: On Fifth Avenue, you moron!
–46th & 6th
Tourist fratboy #1: It said “Free Stress Test.”
Tourist fratboy #2: What’s Dianetics, anyway?
–Times Square
Overheard by: KN
Tourist guy #1: So what countries make up the Netherlands?
Guide: The Netherlands are one country. It’s also called Holland.
Tourist guy #1: Oh, yeah. Sorry. How about The Hague? Is that one of the countries in the Netherlands?
Guide: Ahhhhh.
Tourist guy #2: You’re all confused! It’s all about Benelux! That’s Holland, The Hague, and The Lux. They’re all sort of together in the EU.
Tourist #1: The EU?
Guide: …and right over there is Roosevelt Island.
Tourist #1: Oh, I’ve heard of that! Is that in New York or Brooklyn?
–The UN
Overheard by: Darko Vather
Tourist woman: I had no idea the Guggenheim Museum was so cheesy looking. What’s it made out of? Is that papier mache or something?
Tourist man: Well, I remember reading somewhere that Frank Lloyd Wright really was a nut.
–5th Ave. & 88th St.
Overheard by: Galen Chistopher
Tourist: A small Coke, please.
Pizza guy: Coke is illegal. You’ll go to jail. How ’bout a Pepsi?
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Animal
Tourist: You can tell it’s raining because everybody here has umbrellas.
–Times Square station
Overheard by: Joel Guilbert
Nut: I have powers, she has powers, and she knows that I have powers!
–Astor Place
Two strangers, a nerdy out-of-town businessman & a native NYC businesswoman, step onto the 6 train mid-argument. Profanities are flying out of the NYer’s mouth rapidly and with great force. The nerdy out-of-town businessman throws his harshest punch back: Why don’t you go wash your mouth out with soap?!
NYC businesswoman: Oh…why don’t you go fuck yourself?
–6 train
Overheard by: amy
