Tourist: I read about this place in that New York book I got from the library.
Guy in line: Did it also tell you that when it’s a full moon everything is half off?
Tourist to friend: Dude! We should just both get the large, then.
Friend: I love this town and its little quirks like this.

–Gray’s Papaya

Boy, 7: Daddy, I wanna see the Empire State Building.
Father: Sorry, son. That’s way uptown and we’re headed downtown. 

–48th & Broadway

Overheard by: Christopher Mignemi

Female tourist: Oh, look! American Apparel!
Friend: Is that the only one?

–5th & 19th

Overheard by: nate

Bimbette tourist: Oh my god! What’s that? It looks like a cool, underground club or secret hideout.
Friend: Um, that’s the entrance to the subway.

–57th & 7th

Overheard by: office peon adopted a dog!

Tourist #1: I wonder how they build streets on top of the subways.
Tourist #2: Hmm. You think they’re strong enough that they can support the street all by themselves?
Tourist #1, after some thought: Nah, there’s gotta be a layer of dirt between them or something.

–42nd & Lexington

Overheard by: Matt

Tourist guy: What’s that building over there?
Tourist chick: That’s the Empire State Building, silly.
Tourist guy: Oh…yeah.

–Empire State Building observation deck

Overheard by: Nicholas West

Girl tourist #1: Oh my gosh, look at what that guy is wearing!
Girl tourist #2: Ew. Blue jacket, striped shirt, black pants, brown shoes with no socks. That’s terrible.
Girl tourist #1: Yeah, but, he can do that, right?
Girl tourist #2: Uh, no. Hello, nobody can get away with that.
Girl tourist #1: But, no, he can do that because he’s, like, really from New York. 

–LaGuardia Airport

Guy to Chinese tourists: We call them cops. Citizens on Patrol, that’s one theory. You know London? In the U.K.? Over there they call them bobbies. In New York, cops. In London, bobbies.
British woman: In London they’re called coppers.
Guy: What?
British woman: In London they call them coppers. That’s where the word “cop” comes from.
Guy: She would know, because she’s from there. So in New York, cops. In London, coppers. Not to be confused with “cooper,” which is someone who plays with copper. So is this a lot like Shanghai?

–E train

Overheard by: kyetlen

Tourist to another: Ummm, we’re on Hew‐stin. How do we get to–
Passerby: –Dude, it’s pronounced How-ston, not ‘Hew‐stin.’ You better say it right, or someone else who’s not as nice as me will beat you up.

–Houston & Broadway

40‐something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Hey! How’s it going?! Where are you from?
40‐something regular guy: Seattle. You?
40‐something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Newport Beach, California! What are you off to do?
40‐something regular guy: Dinner and some drinks with friends. You?
40‐something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Me and a buddy are going to take mushrooms and go see Young Frankenstein for the third time! It’s hilarious when you’re high!

–Elevator, Sheraton Hotel