Man: Can I buy a $2 subway card?
Booth lady: You have to use the machine.
Man: Can’t you help me? I only have one arm.
–1st Avenue station
Overheard by: Jorge Montano
Man: Can I buy a $2 subway card?
Booth lady: You have to use the machine.
Man: Can’t you help me? I only have one arm.
–1st Avenue station
Overheard by: Jorge Montano
Chick: Yeah, this book, Lions and Witches and shit; I like to read weird shit and send it to my boyfriend in jail.
–2nd Avenue station
Overheard by: Amanda Morante
Hobo: Man invented the condom so that the woman would stop trying to steal his DNA.
–F train
Overheard by: Caroline Duncan
Loudspeaker: After an earlier incident, the D as in W train is running…
–Pacific Street station
Overheard by: Lorelei
Guy: What language is that?
Girl #1: French.
Guy: Where are you girls from?
Girl #1: Morocco.
Guy: Oh, it’s really beautiful there. Really wealthy too, right?
Girl #2: That’s Monaco.
–Elevator, Lexington between 31st & 32nd
Hipster guy: So where are you from originally?
Cabbie: West Africa.
Hipster guy: Oh, really? Where?
Cabbie: Africous.
Hipster guy: Where?
Cabbie: Afri-cous*.
Hipster guy: Wow. I thought I knew all the countries in Africa.
Cabbie: Yes, you know it. It is beautiful.
–Astoria cab
*Ivory Coast through a West African accent.
Overheard by: Martha K, also in the cab
Girl #1: Seriously, don’t ask me to go dancing if we’re not in South America.
Girl #2: Ha, ha. Yeah. What about Europe?
Girl #1: Eh…
Girl #2: Like, Spain.
Girl #1: Yeah, I guess Spain. And maybe Morocco.
Girl #2: Morocco is in Africa.
Girl #1: Pretend like I didn’t just say that.
Girl #2: Now I understand why you dropped out of college!
–1 train
Overheard by: h. goldmine
Girl: We should totally start pretending to go out and make out in public, and then everyone will be like, “But I thought Mark was gay?”. And they’ll all be so confused.
Mark: Okay, I’m down, but you’re gonna have to get me like 6 shots of Jagermeister before we start.
Girl: Why do you need to be drunk? I’m pretty!
–116th Street 1 station
Guy: Do you have Jesus in your heart?
Woman: Do I have cheese?
–Smith/9th Street station
Girl #1: …sitting in a tree.
Girl #2: K. I. S. S. I. N. G.
Girl #1: First comes love–
Girl #2: Then comes the baby–
–125th/Saint Nicholas station
Overheard by: acq3
Guy #1: How was it?
Guy #2: It was cool. Paris was fun, except for a few days we spent at museums…We went one day to this place…The Love or something…I guess it was all right. There were definitely a lot of people there…Julie was freaking out about this one painting, though.
Guy #1: What painting?
Guy #2: The Mona Lisa.
Guy #1: …huh. Don’t think I know it…I’m not really an art person though.
Guy #2: Yeah, I didn’t know it either. It’s by Michelangelo I think. But I didn’t really get it…it’s really small.
–Union Square station
Overheard by: Stephanie Porto
Guy: I think your soul would taste awesome.
Chick: Are you saying I’m a bad person?
–1 train
Overheard by: djlindee
