Girl: We should totally start pretending to go out and make out in public, and then everyone will be like, “But I thought Mark was gay?”. And they’ll all be so confused.
Mark: Okay, I’m down, but you’re gonna have to get me like 6 shots of Jagermeister before we start.
Girl: Why do you need to be drunk? I’m pretty!
–116th Street 1 station
Guy: Do you have Jesus in your heart?
Woman: Do I have cheese?
–Smith/9th Street station
Girl #1: …sitting in a tree.
Girl #2: K. I. S. S. I. N. G.
Girl #1: First comes love–
Girl #2: Then comes the baby–
–125th/Saint Nicholas station
Overheard by: acq3
Guy #1: How was it?
Guy #2: It was cool. Paris was fun, except for a few days we spent at museums…We went one day to this place…The Love or something…I guess it was all right. There were definitely a lot of people there…Julie was freaking out about this one painting, though.
Guy #1: What painting?
Guy #2: The Mona Lisa.
Guy #1: …huh. Don’t think I know it…I’m not really an art person though.
Guy #2: Yeah, I didn’t know it either. It’s by Michelangelo I think. But I didn’t really get it…it’s really small.
–Union Square station
Overheard by: Stephanie Porto
Guy: I think your soul would taste awesome.
Chick: Are you saying I’m a bad person?
–1 train
Overheard by: djlindee
Mom: I’d hate to drop dead of a heart attack, but I’d rather it be at Six Flags.
–W train
Conductor: Good news for riders going local. This train is not going express, as previously announced, but going local, like normal. If there’s such a thing as normal…Questions? Comments? Suggestions? See your conductor, located in the center of the train. Don’t just walk around confused. Ask me! I know! Usually…Just a reminder to turn those frowns upside-down. Smiling burns more calories!
Guy: Giving the finger to the conductor burns calories, too.
–R train
Overheard by: Dawn
Girl: That’s weird. I’m on the subway and my cell phone rang.
Guy: We’re on the bridge.
Girl: Oh shit! I was supposed to get off at Canal Street!
–Q train
Overheard by: David
Guy: This station needs to be named Hell.
–Canal Street station
Overheard by: Nic
White woman: Are you available?
Teen Japanese boy: I’m sorry?
White woman: Are you…available?
Teen Japanese boy: Available for what?
White woman: You know…available?
Teen Japanese boy: Sorry, this is my stop.
–F train
Overheard by: Heather Red
Girl #1: So after we go to the MOMA, we’ll go to the Village and do some shopping–
Girl #2: What’s this “Village” you keep talking about? Is it far away?
–96th Street 1/2/3 station
