Subway stations, platforms, etc.

Tales From the Dork Continent

Guy: What language is that?
Girl #1: French.
Guy: Where are you girls from?
Girl #1: Morocco.
Guy: Oh, it’s really beautiful there. Really wealthy too, right?
Girl #2: That’s Monaco.

–Elevator, Lexington between 31st & 32nd

Hipster guy: So where are you from originally?
Cabbie: West Africa.
Hipster guy: Oh, really? Where?
Cabbie: Africous.
Hipster guy: Where?
Cabbie: Afri-cous*.
Hipster guy: Wow. I thought I knew all the countries in Africa.
Cabbie: Yes, you know it. It is beautiful.

–Astoria cab

*Ivory Coast through a West African accent.

Overheard by: Martha K, also in the cab

Girl #1: Seriously, don’t ask me to go dancing if we’re not in South America.
Girl #2: Ha, ha. Yeah. What about Europe?
Girl #1: Eh…
Girl #2: Like, Spain.
Girl #1: Yeah, I guess Spain. And maybe Morocco.
Girl #2: Morocco is in Africa.
Girl #1: Pretend like I didn’t just say that.
Girl #2: Now I understand why you dropped out of college!

–1 train

Overheard by: h. goldmine

This Queer Thing Makes More and More Sense

Girl: We should totally start pretending to go out and make out in public, and then everyone will be like, “But I thought Mark was gay?”. And they’ll all be so confused.
Mark: Okay, I’m down, but you’re gonna have to get me like 6 shots of Jagermeister before we start.
Girl: Why do you need to be drunk? I’m pretty!

–116th Street 1 station

No Dairy with Meat, Please

Guy: Do you have Jesus in your heart?
Woman: Do I have cheese?

–Smith/9th Street station

Then Goes Love–

Girl #1: …sitting in a tree.
Girl #2: K. I. S. S. I. N. G.
Girl #1: First comes love–
Girl #2: Then comes the baby–

–125th/Saint Nicholas station

Overheard by: acq3

Somewhere, Marcel Duchamp is Chortling

Guy #1: How was it?
Guy #2: It was cool. Paris was fun, except for a few days we spent at museums…We went one day to this place…The Love or something…I guess it was all right. There were definitely a lot of people there…Julie was freaking out about this one painting, though.
Guy #1: What painting?
Guy #2: The Mona Lisa.
Guy #1: …huh. Don’t think I know it…I’m not really an art person though.
Guy #2: Yeah, I didn’t know it either. It’s by Michelangelo I think. But I didn’t really get it…it’s really small.

–Union Square station

Overheard by: Stephanie Porto

No, He’s Saying You’re Fat

Guy: I think your soul would taste awesome.
Chick: Are you saying I’m a bad person?

–1 train

Overheard by: djlindee

Hate is a Strong Word, Wednesday One-liners

Mom: I’d hate to drop dead of a heart attack, but I’d rather it be at Six Flags.

–W train

Depends on How Much Axle Grease You Put on It

Conductor: Good news for riders going local. This train is not going express, as previously announced, but going local, like normal. If there’s such a thing as normal…Questions? Comments? Suggestions? See your conductor, located in the center of the train. Don’t just walk around confused. Ask me! I know! Usually…Just a reminder to turn those frowns upside-down. Smiling burns more calories!
Guy: Giving the finger to the conductor burns calories, too.

–R train

Overheard by: Dawn

There’s a Twilight Zone Episode Here

Girl: That’s weird. I’m on the subway and my cell phone rang.
Guy: We’re on the bridge.
Girl: Oh shit! I was supposed to get off at Canal Street!

–Q train

Overheard by: David

Guy: This station needs to be named Hell.

–Canal Street station

Overheard by: Nic

After the Hand Roll, She’s Going to Cut Him into 6 Pieces

White woman: Are you available?
Teen Japanese boy: I’m sorry?
White woman: Are you…available?
Teen Japanese boy: Available for what?
White woman: You know…available?
Teen Japanese boy: Sorry, this is my stop.

–F train

Overheard by: Heather Red

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