A white girl listening to her iPod snaps to attention, horrified, as the conducter announces the stop at 135th Street.
White girl: Oh my God! Where am I?
–2 train
Overheard by: emilie
A white girl listening to her iPod snaps to attention, horrified, as the conducter announces the stop at 135th Street.
White girl: Oh my God! Where am I?
–2 train
Overheard by: emilie
Fat chick: I said excuse me!
Fatter chick: Ya, well, you were up my ass for the last 5 minutes.
Fat chick: Ya I want to be up that fat ass!
Fatter chick: Shall I follow you to Queens? Shall I? Some of us can afford to live on 60th Street.
–59th Street station
Guy #1: Keep your wallet in your front pocket, dude.
Guy #2: This city would be so much safer if there really were Ninja Turtles.
–A train
Overheard by: Jake Glazier
Crazy lady: I hate my fucking mother and I want to kill her. I want to watch her bleed. She is a fat lazy bitch. She was nothing but a container!
Guy: God will not forgive you if you kill your mother. Can you also keep it down please?
–PATH train
Overheard by: JMK
Girl: Stop staring, pervert.
Guy: You ain’t all that hot.
Girl: I am not a hamburger! You can’t eat me!
–3 train
Overheard by: Jose
Hobo: Help me! I have 9 starving kids at home!
Suit: Yesterday you had 12 starving kids, what happened?
Hobo: That’s right and the 2 of them died in a horrible fire yesterday! Please help me!
Suit: What happened to the 12th?
Hobo: Man, get the fuck outta here, you’re fucking up my rap!
–57th Street station
Guy: I touched your eyeball, doesn’t that mean I love you?
Girl: Touch it again!
Guy: No you freak!
–N/W Broadway station
Black girl: Oh my God, this train is crowded.
Japanese guy: In Tokyo, the trains are much more crowded than this!
Black girl: Why? ’cause they can fit so many more of you little guys on it?
–6 train
Overheard by: Carri
Drunk White hobo: Aw man, fucka that shit.
Hispanic deli chef: Man, you don’t have to say that to me. I am your brother.
Drunk White hobo: You’re right, brother…I am sorry, my brother.
–34th street deli between 8th & 9th
Black dude #1: Shut up, nigga.
Black dude #2: What the fuck. Don’t call me nigga. I’m Puerto Rican. Call me a spic.
Black dude #3: Stop using that offensive language! No wonder everyone on this train is staring at us. We are all God’s children. We all bleed the same. Aren’t we all god’s children?
White woman: Pardon?
Black dude #3: Aren’t we all god’s children?
White woman: Well, yes.
Black dude #3: You see!
–1 train
Guy #1: Frank was sneezing so loud I could hear him all the way inside.
Girl: Well, that explains the frown on the back of your face.
Guy #2: Do you even have a back of your face?
–Chambers Street station
Overheard by: James Q Wilson
