Subway stations, platforms, etc.

HS Girl: That’s all she talks about. She watches Star Trek, she talks about Star Trek, she gets Star Trek tattoos all over her body.
HS Guy: At least my tattoo is cool.

–4 Train

Overheard by: Kaitlen

(two gay men are adjusting a backpack)
Gay guy #1: Oww, are you sure you know what you’re doing?
Gay guy #2: Don’t question me! I know how to use Velcro.

–51st Street Station

Hipster boy to girl: After the internet age and the digital age, we are now entering the cyborg age.
Hipster girl to boy: Yeah, cyborgs are totally mainstream now. I saw a special on Fox News all about cyborgs and it was totally mainstream.
Hipster boy to girl: My brother has an insulin pump.

–F Train Platform

Overheard by: sadie

Man helping woman carry stroller down stairs: If you had taken the bloody pill when you said you were taking it, we wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place.

–Broadway‐Lafayette B/D/F/V Station

Overheard by: Jon A.

Man walking with girlfriend, loudly: Wait, did you bring your diaphragm?

–Times Square

Loud woman on cell: How many times do you have to have sex, and have a baby, before you realize: “If I have sex without a condom I will get someone pregnant.”? Seriously!

–Broadway & 103rd St

Overheard by: Amy

Guy on phone: I always tell people that sex with you with a condom is better than sex with other girls without a condom.

–Outside Trader Joe’s, 14th St

Zoo guide: This zoo likes to be careful with breeding animals by taking into account genes and the like. But then again, Zippy – the baby snow monkey – came along. So be careful with your birth control.

–Central Park Zoo, by the Snow Monkeys

Girl to another: I just don’t see why we can’t make our own condoms.

–14th St & 4th Ave

Subway announcement: The next l train is now arriving on the Manhattan bound track.
Midwest tweaker, to no one in particular: Boo‐yah! Buh‐buh‐buh boo‐yah! (blows snot rocket onto subway tracks) The l train? What the fuck is that?

–Bedford L Train

Overheard by: Ben Graney

Large, out‐of‐breath woman climbing stairs #1: (gasp) All I know is (gasp) that I would fuck the shit out of her.
Large, out‐of‐breath woman climbing stairs #2: (silence)
Large, out‐of‐breath woman climbing stairs #1: Are you honestly saying (gasp) you wouldn’t fuck the shit out of her?
Large, out‐of‐breath woman climbing stairs #2: If she was a man…
Large, out‐of‐breath woman climbing stairs #1: Fuck that shit! (gasp) I’m not hearing that.

–Subway Stop, 168th & Broadway

Overheard by: I Would 2

Guy #1, shouting: We’re in the Village!
Guy #2: The Village?
Guy #1: We’re in the Village!
Guy #2: Ok… The Village…
Guy #1: So if someone grabs your dick, you know what it means!

–West 4th St Station

Overheard by: DS

Hobo: Anyone have a $50 bill?…How ’bout you?
Chick: What?
Hobo: Are there any rich people on this train?
Chick: No.
Hobo: You like me? Wanna give me a kiss? 

–6 train

Overheard by: S.D. & S.H.

Woman, followed by pack of children: Okay, first one to catch up to me gets a dollar!
Little boy: Fifty dollars of joy!

–Times Square Station

High school‐age Jersey girl: So I went on my ex‐boyfriend’s Facebook, since his birthday was last week. Only like 30 people wrote on his wall to wish him happy birthday.
Friend: Oh my god. What a loser!

–NJ Transit Terminal, Penn Station

Overheard by: Ashley