Yarmulke guy: You play the guitar?
Blue collar guy: Yeah, but not Havah Nagila or anything.
–3 train
Yarmulke guy: You play the guitar?
Blue collar guy: Yeah, but not Havah Nagila or anything.
–3 train
Woman #1: I should be on that monument.
Woman #2: Why, so you can scare everyone?
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Jon A.
Doorman: Out for your morning power walk?
Old woman: Power walk? I’d fucking drop dead before I got to the corner.
–55th between 5th & 6th
Guy #1: You Indian? India is like the next superpower, dude.
Guy #2: Superpower my ass.
–87th & Lexington
Black guy: Yo, can I get a dollar for a hot dog?
White guy: Sorry. This is my last fiver.
White woman: Here ya go.
Black guy: That’ll do.
White woman: You could at least say thank you.
Black guy: I did. I was speaking ebonics.
–Gray’s Papaya, 8th Avenue
Overheard by: CRE
Jock #1: …Yeah, but I heard she was dating someone.
Jock #2: She can date…my balls.
Jock #1: Classy, man. Classy.
–Modell’s, E. 86th Street
Asian guy: I want to spike my hair.
White guy: So grow out the sides and spike the whole thing.
Asian guy: What do I look like, one of those Dragon Ball Z kids in Chinatown?
–Office, Old Slip
Overheard by: Kevz
Girl, 7: I wish I could go in and play with them. I want to play with the turtles.
Zookeeper woman: They’re not turtles. They’re tortoises.
Girl, 7: Whatever. I want to step on them.
–Central Park Zoo
Hobo: Hey, any of you fellas got a match?
Drunk guy: Yeah I got a match, my ass and your face!
Hobo: I hear ya.
–3rd Avenue and 9th Street
Petition guy: Hi, are you a registered Democrat?
Dude: No, sex offender.
–20th & 1st
