Guy to friend, about Grindhouse double-feature: That was fucking awesome.
Old guy in front of them: You didn’t actually like that, did you?
Guy: I did! I thought it was hilarious.
Old guy: Yeah, it was as funny as a dead child’s toy.
–83rd & 2nd
Overheard by: don juan
Hipster: C’mon, there’s another train, quit holding the doors. God.
Man squeezing past doors: Oh, shut the fuck up. I’m late for work. What are you late for? The vintage stores aren’t even open yet.
–Uptown N train, Union Square
Dude: Is there a frog in here?
Chick: Sorry, I tooted.
–A train
Overheard by: nicole
Yuppie customer: Can we have the tasting menu?
Waitress: You eat everything?
Yuppie customer: Yeah, sure.
Waitress: Gizzard?
Yuppie customer: I’ll eat the asshole if you put a tasty sauce on it.
Waitress: We don’t serve assholes here.
Yuppie customer: This is New York. How do you stay in business?
–Japanese restaurant
Overheard by: The Professor
Older boy: We are selling wrapping paper to raise money for our trip. You can buy a roll for two bucks.
Younger boy: But you can go to the store and buy that paper for one dollar.
Older boy: Why you hatin’?! Why you hatin’?!
–42nd & 6th
Overheard by: John B
Guy: I can so. I can do anything I want.
Girl: Well, you can’t control destiny! All you can do in life is choose a direction and do your best when you’re fucked!
–22nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Khalim
Short thug, holding baby, yelling at indie girl outside deli: My baby don't like you! Don't you ever come near my baby again! She thinks you got a ugly face!
–176th & Broadway
Overheard by: emily d.
Older woman to young couple proudly pushing baby stroller: That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!
–2nd Ave & 10th St
Tourist to another: I thought New York was supposed to be filled with good-looking people. My god, everyone here is so ugly!
–Midtown Bar
Husband to wife: Why do we always get ugly German nannies? Always! Why?
–Broadway & 13th St
Stranger to six-year-old girl who is one dollar short when paying: Hey there, sweetheart! I will pay that last dollar for you. Don't you worry.
Girl: No! You are fat!
–Dylan's Candy Bar
Overheard by: Acrown
Dramatic chick: You're crazy!
Calm guy: No. That's the problem. You're not crazy.
–4 Train
Little kid: I'm the highest reader in my class!
Dad's friend: What, are all the kids in your class Chinese?
–The Great Lawn
Overheard by: Mariah
