Guys

Girl: Your hair looks so hot when it’s raining.
Boy: Really?
Girl: Yes, you get that Swedish porn star look.
Boy: In that case I hope it rains all weekend.

–Penn Station

Black woman: White men are fucking idiots! They’re morons.

–M7 bus

Overheard by: Jason Steinhauer

Teenage boy: Man, I seen that guy Q…he’s all the time going to Coney Island.

–57th St. station (Q train terminal stop)

Italian guy: …so my nephew, right? He’s so stupid I gotta make him the lifeguard at my car wash!

–Taormina, Mulberry St.

Overheard by: Eric Rexilius

Guy #1: She stuck her lollipop in my mouth! And she has herpes!
Guy #2: She has herpes?
Girl: Well, everyone has herpes…

–Sin Sin, E. 5th Street

Overheard by: Jon Zebraskey

Guy #1: Oh my god, did you hear that Tom Ford just left Chanel?!
Guy #2: Really?! I can’t believe it, he really turned that brand around.

–Bergdorf Goodman shoe department, 5th Ave.

Guy: Where do you live again?
Girl: Right over there.
Guy: Can I walk you home?
Girl: But it’s right over there…

–Orchard Street

Local guy: Man, wake up, you look like you from Wall Street.
Awakened yuppie: Yeah, something like that.
Local guy: Well, you in the hood now! You better get on that [train across the platform] right away!

–New Lots Avenue station

Overheard by: Satoru Ogawa

Guy #1: You know what I found out about Japanese people? They love noodles.
Guy #2: Really?

–Anytime Cafe, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Manlio Lo Conte

A scruffy guy is on his cell in an otherwise silent internet cafe. His thoughts: No…it’s not in the heart of the city…it’s like the artery.

You remember that postcard of New York I sent you for your birthday? I think you can see my building if you look closely…well you know the best pictures of it are in books, and I love you guys, you’re my family, but I’m not about to spend $15 on one of those books.

Yeah…I came up with this great analogy yesterday. I said, “If you know little math problems and little words, you’ll make a little money, but if you know big problems and big words, you get lotsa money!…I know, I know, I think they got it!

Yeah, well you know 80% of the people I work with are spanish…its not like that in Spokane…so everything here revolves around them…but you know what? The other day one of the girls came up to me and said, “Everyone thinks you’re such a nice guy”. That was so nice; I wasn’t even trying…I didn’t know they thought that…see I apply all the stuff you taught me and incorporate it into my lifestyle.

–Internet cafe, E. 33rd between 5th and Madison

Scary Punk Teenage Girl: Have you heard of this play Medea?
Not-so-scary Punk Teenage Guy: Yeah, that’s a good play. Have you heard of Arthur Miller?
Scary Punk Teenage Girl: Who?
Not-so-scary Punk Teenage Guy: Arthur Miller. He wrote Death of a Salesman.
Scary Punk Teenage Girl: No.
Not-so-scary Punk Teenage Guy: Oh, he died last week. He was 89.
Scary Punk Teenage Girl: Wow, that’s terrible. I didn’t even know that and I deliver newspapers.

–They Might Be Giants in-store, Border’s, Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Monica

Guy on cell: …no, not her. A new chick…Yeah, man, yeah. You know me; I’m anally ambitious. I’m gonna be in her like a gerbil.

–M72 bus

Overheard by: Alexandra

Man #1: So did you get the golden ticket?
Man #2: The what?
Man #1: The golden ticket to the chocolate factory, did you get it?
Man #2: What?
Man #1: Anal! Did you hit her up the butt?
Man #2: Oh! Ha ha…yeah, finally.

–3 Train

Overheard by: Marco Formosa