Guys

Chick: Do you trust me with your CDs? I’ll try not to scratch them or anything.
Dude: I trust you with my balls. I think I’m OK with you touching my CDs.

–111th & Broadway

Overheard by: Djlindee

Girl: One of my favorite stories is about my dead friend Kim.
Guy: Oh, I love the dead Kim stories.

–Dos Cominos, Park Ave South

Overheard by: Scott

Girl: I like dogs!
Guy: Yeah, right.
Girl: Actually I’m violently allergic to them.

–Houston & Eldridge

Short guy: You from Guyana?
Black chick: Yes, I am.
Short guy: Damn! I can always tell a Guyanese woman!
Black chick: Oh yeah? How?
Short guy: By your front teeth. You all have that funny gap thing going on. See? You got it too!

–3 train

Overheard by: Karen Seiger

Woman: Every time I date Greek men I get fat…Every single time!

–South Cove, Battery Park City

Guy on cell: I know man, sometimes I wish you were her husband instead of me.

–Starbucks, Union Square West

Overheard by: alison

Chick on cell: …so I said, “Stop calling me. It was a one night stand.”

–F train

Black queer: So who is this guy, anyway? Has anybody even met this guy you say you’re dating? Or is he like that “Bob” guy you put in your car so you can drive in the H.O.V. lane?

–Times Square

Guy: She has…two one-eyed cats. She’s never getting engaged.

–Madison Square Park

Guy #1: I had one of the best karaoke experiences of my life the other night.
Guy #2: Seriously?
Guy #1: Oh yeah. And don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my share of great karaoke experiences in my life. There has been few times where I’ve gotten up there and did not receive physical pleasure afterwards.

–40th & 3rd

Overheard by: Greg Rutter

Preppy guy: Are you sure?
Non-Preppy guy: I’m telling you…I think she’s a prostitute.
Preppy guy: She doesn’t have the face for it.
Non-Preppy guy: I know, but she does have the body.
Preppy guy: That’s a fucking shame if she is one. Her family has billions and billions of dollars. She doesn’t need to be doing that.

–Prime Burger, 51st Street

Overheard by: Shirley Grace

Guy: I wish they played music in these things so it wouldn’t be so awkward.

–Midtown elevator

Overheard by: Gabe Connor

Guy #1: I don’t care about the goddamn pope anymore! What is it, it’s on the front page of every paper. Who cares?
Guy #2: I know, he’s going to die in a few years anyway.

–20th & 7th

Overheard by: Tom

Tall woman on cell: …there’s something I haven’t told you too: I’ve been sleeping with hundreds of women all this time!

–4th Ave. & 10th St.

Guy: Dude, who needs a date when you’ve got a vagina?

–8th & University

Overheard by: Chitin

Chick on cell: He said I’m high maintenance. I am not high maintenance…I’m crazy, but I’m not high maintenance.

–Uncle Ming’s, Avenue B

Overheard by: djlindee