Girl: The guy in this photo has gigantism. It’s a condition where you don’t stop growing–
Guy: That rocks.
Girl: –but you die really young.
Guy: Oh wait, it doesn’t.
–Diane Arbus exhibit, The Met
Overheard by: Eviltom
Girl: The guy in this photo has gigantism. It’s a condition where you don’t stop growing–
Guy: That rocks.
Girl: –but you die really young.
Guy: Oh wait, it doesn’t.
–Diane Arbus exhibit, The Met
Overheard by: Eviltom
Dude #1: You know, I kinda like Richie Santorum.
Dude #2: Yeah… he’s a pretty good guitarist. Bon Jovi’s alright.
Dude #1: Yep.
–7 train
Hipster guy: Have you ever been arrested?
Hipster girl: Yeah, when I was sixteen my friend and I got arrested for shoplifting. It really wasn’t that bad. The cops were super cool and we were all joking around and shit and our mugshots were actually pretty cute.
–HopScotch Cafe
Dude #1: You’re so slutty!
Dude #2: We’re both so slutty…
Dude #1: Heh, I know…if these balls could talk…
Dude #2: It’s gotten to the point where, if I’m about to do it with a guy, I drop your name, just to be sure.
–55th & 9th
Drunk guy: Where are you from, man?
Random guy: Arizona.
Drunk guy: Arizona… Arizona, Nevada?
Random guy: No… Arizona, Arizona.
Drunk guy: Oh, but… Nevada is a section of Arizona right?
Random guy: No. Nevada is Nevada.
Drunk guy: I’ve been to Wisconsin.
–E Train
Overheard by: Noble Robinette
Woman on cell: I have to get home so I can put away the b‑o‐n‑g.
–19th & Broadway
Overheard by: Kyle
Man in light green suit with orange‐red gators: Read the bible tonight. Don’t smoke that Scooby Doobie Doo. Don’t get high tonight!
–125th & Lenox
Overheard by: Plausible
Young hipster: So I said, “Mom, did you smoke with me?”
–Central Park Reservoir
Angry girlfriend to boyfriend: Okay, so you don’t want me smoking pot, you don’t want me smoking cigarettes or cloves, you don’t want me chewing gum and now you don’t like lollipops? So tell me, Peter, what can I put in my mouth that’s okay with you?
–L Train
Overheard by: It’s me, bitches.
Teacher: Steve*, I need to talk to your pot dealer, because the stuff you’re smoking is really good.
–Cooper Union
Overheard by: me too
Guy talking on blue tooth: I should be there in about 45 minutes. (pause) Yeah, I’m serious! (pause) Look. I got an idea for ya. Why don’t you go roll a big fat blunt, smoke it until you can’t see anymore and then I’ll be there. Alright? Bye.
–8th Ave & 27th St
Overheard by: Erica Friedman
Girl: I mean honestly, who at NYU doesn’t smell like weed?
–Washington Square Park
Dude: Hey, how are you?
Chick: Good!
Dude: Yeah?
Chick: Yeah… I’ve been banging everyone, though.
Dude: Yeah.
–Stairwell, Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Girl: Man, I feel like shit.
Guy: Why?
Girl: What if he was seriously hurt?
Guy: Huh?
Girl: I’ve been thinking about breaking up with him, and what if he had died?
Guy: It’d save you the trouble?
–PS 321, Park Slope
A hobo sits begging with outstretched hands. Another hobo walks by and comments: Aw man, you ain’t even got a cup!
–Soho
Girl in line: Oh, you like cats?
Guy in line: Well, I used to work with tigers.
–Williamsburg bodega
Girl diner: You can order a tongue sandwich!
Guy diner: I don’t eat anything that can taste me back.
–Ben’s Kosher Deli
Overheard by: Pastrami Girl
