Guy #1: I’m not worried about having children. If I’m 50 and I don’t have kids, I will still be happy.
Guy #2: At 50 you could still have kids. You’d just have to knock up a younger woman.
Guy #1: I couldn’t handle being with a women 20 years younger than me. Too much different slang to deal with.
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: Yeah, that’s the biggest reason I don’t sleep with 70 year olds.
–A train
Girl: Who’s playing tonight?
Guy: Coheed and Cambria.
Girl: Oh man, I shouldn’t have done all that acid.
–15th & Irving
Girl: I can’t believe you just made me jaywalk!
Guy: Where the hell are you from?
–4th & Broadway
Guy #1: Yeah, she was a little long in the tooth.
Guy #2: “Long in the tooth”? I’ve never heard that one before.
Guy #1: Her face was all long. But she’s tall. Like 6’2″.
–6 train
Overheard by: Aileen Gallagher
Guy #1: I don’t think people get my humor. I don’t think they get the dry thing, but it’s also very toilet.
Guy #2: Okay, so basically, you have dry toilet humor.
Guy #1: Yes, there’s no water in that toilet.
Guy #2: So it’s more like a trough.
–BondSt, Bond Street
Girl: So a midget construction worker hit on me yesterday.
Guy: A midget construction worker? What was he building? Dollhouses?
–33rd & 7th
Overheard by: Laura Lou
Dogwalking woman: No! Come here! I said no! Stay!
Guy: Dude, take off your earphones.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Thompson Patton
Snack guy: Peanuts! Get your peanuts here! Buy one, get the second for the same price!
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: HelloClairice
Suit #1: He basically crawled up my ass and started punching me from the inside.
Suit #2: Nice picture, dude. Christ.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Brett
Girl on cell: I’m here in Harlem right next to Yankee Stadium.
–4 train
Woman: It’s a good thing we got here early. I don’t want to miss the kickoff.
–Shea Stadium
Chick #1: Boo, you’re gonna miss!
Chick #2: Aren’t you cheering for the wrong team?
Chick #1: I wasn’t cheering, I was making an ominous prediction.
–Richmond County Ballpark
Overheard by: Becka Dash
Guy #1: I thought that girl was his daughter. He has to be in his 50s.
Guy #2: I know, it’s skeeving me right out.
Guy #1: What do you think? She’s 22 or 23?
Guy #2: Dude, she’s a hard 18 tops.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Todd Horan
Guy #1: Hey man, how was your weekend?
Guy #2: Awesome! Bumped into an old girlfriend…repeatedly.
–N train
Guy #1: You Indian? India is like the next superpower, dude.
Guy #2: Superpower my ass.
–87th & Lexington
