Crackhead lady: Now crack’s a different story. Right now I’m going through a time where crack is a very important part of my life.
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: deke shearon
Crackhead lady: Now crack’s a different story. Right now I’m going through a time where crack is a very important part of my life.
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: deke shearon
Girl #1: Coke. Has to be. You don’t lose weight that fast any other way.
Girl #2: I do that sometimes. You know, just to jump start the weight loss.
–Crunch, Lafayette Street
Girl on cell: Holy shit Daddy, I need to get some coke again, I can’t fit into a size 2 anymore!
–Gap dressing room, 34th & 6th
Overheard by: divaliscious
Queer #1: Her tattoo is, like, a mushroom. Like a magic mushroom. On her lower back, like on her ass. But she is thick, man, she has like, spare tires. I mean, I have love handles, but she has spare tires!
Queer #2: Yeah…
Queer #1: It’s like, when she and her friend say they are having a fat day, I just wanna be like, “Girl! You are having a fat week! Or a fat year!” I mean, she is thick!
Queer #2: Yeah…
Queer #1: But really, sometimes I just wanna be like, “Jenna, you do so much coke, how are you still so fat?”
–N train
Overheard by: queenie
Queer: It was my dealer’s fault. If he had coke I would’ve done coke. He only had crystal, so we did crystal.
–Therapy, W. 52nd Street
Fat guy #1: So I go in and he’s like, “This definitely isn’t a fun job or anything. It’s not an exciting job. This isn’t one of those jobs where you going to be happy about coming into the office in the morning. This job isn’t, you know, you’re not going to learn anything at this job. But you’ll make a lot of money.”
Fat guy #2: Cool.
Fat guy #1: Yeah, so I can sell my soul, y’know? I’m like, “I’ll sell crack to kids if I could make a lot of money.”
–E train
Guy on cell: Dude, I can’t give you a bottle. And he don’t got none, either…dude, I don’t mean no offense, but you know you’re a junkie type, right?…yeah, I hear ya…Fine. Maybe for $20 I can find you something.
–86th between Lexington & 3rd
Lady: So is that why he brought you a Xanax and a sandwich?
–Ludlow & Delancey
Overheard by: Michi Hollydale
Businesslady: I was a meth addict. You know, methadone. I didn’t inject it, though.
–Starbucks, 35th & 8th
Overheard by: wit and whimsy
Girl on cell: So like I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I told my parents that I was on drugs…which, of course, nothing could be further from the truth…yeah, I can blame them for reacting that way!
–77th & Lex
Chick on cell: …I know. He’s so generous with prescriptions. And I keep telling him, “I’m a real pill popper!”
–52nd & Madison
Overheard by: Captain Obvious
Chick: If you can get the perfect balance between alcohol and cocaine, then you’ve really hit your peak.
–15th & 5th
Overheard by: Lucy
Woman: So I had to figure out which was cheaper: the drugs or the rehab.
–Kate’s Joint, Avenue B
Queer: God it’s so gross! Gays in there lifting and just sweating all their drugs out…I just don’t go to the gym on mondays; it smells like chemicals!
–15th & 7th
Girl on cell: Yeah, they all call her Vitamin H, can you believe that?…No, no, it’s alcohol that’s the gateway drug. You only want to do coke after you drink.
–2nd Avenue & 10th Street
Girl: …I mean, I don’t care. As long as he doesn’t hit her in my house!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Errin D.
Drunk thug: Yo, fuck Lil’ Bow Wow! If I get the chance I’ll cut that nigga…with my MetroCard! And then I’ll swipe him through.
–Last Exit, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Mr. Brojangles
Jewess: If Miriam acts that way again to me, I am going to slap her pussy bald.
–86th & 2nd
Overheard by: Caroline Kelley
Man: Just you watch, she’s gonna cut him!
–3 train
Man: I don’t know, he only dates guys in jail.
–33rd & Madison
Overheard by: Missy Gartner
Black kid: They’re going to get me for conspiracy! That’s what they did to my brother! He’s spending 8 years in jail for conspiracy…firearms…half an ounce of cocaine…crack cocaine.
–B train
Overheard by: Samantha G
Sorority girl: No, really. My brother took acid, thought he could fly, and jumped out our second story window. This really happened.
–Columbia University Library
Overheard by: Michael Niederman
Hipster guy: I love fried chicken and cocaine.
–11th & B
Guy: Yeah, alcohol…It’s my anti-drug.
–45th & 9th
Overheard by: teo
Chick #1: I need to buy some coke for the house after this…Coca-Cola.
Chick #2: Oh! You need to clarify these things. I was picturing a big
jar of cocaine in your living room or something.
Chick #1: That would be the hottest thing ever! I keep saying these absurd things hoping someone will put it in Overheard in New York.
–Loews Theater, 86th & Lexington
Queer: Yeah he’d be perfect for you if he wasn’t straight. You both love dogs.
–13th & A
Girl: So I have, like, this army of lesbians chasing after me, but it’s too bad; I have to tell them I switched back over.
–St. Mark’s & 2nd
Guy: …sprinkled cocaine in his asshole and snorted it.
–18th between 5th & 6th
Pretty-boy: She’s like, “So I’m not a tranny just because I can’t afford the hormones?” and I’m like, “Um, yeah”. I mean, it’s my party, I can call you “she” if I want to!
–Atlas cafe, Williamsburg
Overheard by: emdashes
Girl: It’s not because you’re gay…it’s because we’re better than you.
–Greenpoint
Girl: Well, she got addicted to coke, and weighs like three pounds now.
Guy: Sweet. Would I do her?
Girl: Well, it depends.
Guy: On what?
Girl: Well, she only hooks up with guys who will give it to her from
behind.
–Astor Place Barnes & Noble
