Bartender guy: Yo dude, block the door with your foot for a minute.
He does. Bartender guy then proceeds to cut a line on the top of the urinal, snort it, and return to work.
–Dorrian’s Red Hand men’s room, 2nd Avenue
Bartender guy: Yo dude, block the door with your foot for a minute.
He does. Bartender guy then proceeds to cut a line on the top of the urinal, snort it, and return to work.
–Dorrian’s Red Hand men’s room, 2nd Avenue
Girl #1: It's going to suck if everyone there has a boring sense of humor.
Girl #2: So get them hyped up on cocaine, then everything is funny!
Girl #1: I will! Wait…how do *you* know?
Girl #2: At this point I would knock you on the side of the neck, steal your wallet, and run away.
–Main Street, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Michelle
Hipster chick: … And then the cops came in and busted him for cocaine possession.
Old mom: Oh, goodness.
Hipster chick: Yeah, he totally didn’t have that much.
Old mom: Did he have an eight-ball?
–66th & Park
Overheard by: ashley
Thug on cell: Will I accept payment in what? In coke? Fuck no, I won’t accept an eight-ball as payment. No. No way, bitch, I don’t care how pure it is. Uh-uh, the only coke I do comes in five dollar rocks. I can’t afford to get hooked on that expensive shit.
–49th & 7th
Oveheard by: Prefers the expensive shit
Drunk guy, to his date: The reason I’m buying all of this coke is so that we can fuck.
–6th St, between 2nd & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Danielle
Girl: Can you imagine saying your vows when you’re that coked up?
–Remsen St, Brooklyn Heights
Party girl: Oh my God, she took a picture of me one time while I was doing a line, and I was, like, so pissed!
–Sheep’s Meadow, Central Park
Dude: America runs on cocaine.
–W Broadway
Overheard by: ritajones
Goth chick: I just want to buy some fucking groceries so we don’t spend all our money on coke.
–Whole Foods, 14th St
Angry teen: You’re a crackhead!
Crackhead: Well, at least I’m a classy crackhead!
–A train, 125th St
NYU girl #1: Crack babies aren’t that bad.
NYU girl #2: Yeah. You’re addicted to crack, but you don’t experience it!
–Hayden Residence Hall, Washington Square
Queer: You remind me of that girl Audrina on the hills!
Girl resembling Audrina: Yeah, I've heard that before. I've also heard Lindsay Lohan, but that's mostly because of my coke habit.
–Splash Bar
Chick: Hey, remember that time when you snorted coke off that stripper’s ass?
Dude: Yeah!
–Scruffy Duffy’s, 46th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Lauren DeGasperis
Tall guy: Maybe I should just move to his pad…
Short guy: You can’t live with him, you’ll never get any work done with all the strippers and piles of coke everywhere. He lives too large for me.
Tall guy: [long pause] Yeeeaaah!
–PATH
Overheard by: green eyed evesdropper
Queer #1: Kiss me. [Kisses queer #2.] Do I taste like it?
Queer #2: I don’t know what coke tastes like. Oh. Sorry, that was pretty loud.
–33rd & 7th
