Pregnant chick: You know when I pop this bitch out it is on. Get me a drink!
–2/3 train
Mother: Come here. You’re seven years old and you can’t fasten your own shoelaces? No more video games for your black ass.
–W. 53rd & 10th
Overheard by: James Shannon
Queer: You know, she sent her children to England, so they’d learn how to pronunciate words correctly.
–Angelo’s, 55th Street
Girl: …so I told him to suck his own dick if he thinks he can do it any better.
–G train
Overheard by: Ocera
Little boy: Mommy, mommy, do you have a penis?
–E train
Overheard by: Ting
JHS kid: …so I said, “He’s gonna make you stay after class and he’s gonna pull down your fucking pants and shove his fucking cock up your ass!”
–Times Square shuttle
Overheard by: Lizzy
Guy on cell: My life is a falafel. No, no, wait, it’s a pita. My life is a pita.
–Broadway & Astor Place
Teen boy: When I get home, I’m gonna get me one of them nutrient shake shits.
–M23 bus
Overheard by: Jon Graboff
Woman: I didn’t like the emu there. I’m not going to like it here.
–Eight Mile Creek, Mulberry Street
Overheard by: james uphoff
Hobo: …but don’t worry; us Republicans know what you’re up to!
–Sullivan & W. 3rd
Woman on cell: Uh huh…yeah…right…uh huh…uh huh…the one you thought was underwear…uh huh…right…
–Lincoln Center
Girl on cell: I am so not dressed for a strip club!
–Times Square
Old woman: Did you see this play?
Old man: Yes.
Old woman: Well, do you know who the father of the baby is?
Old man: Well, I know it wasn’t me.
–59th & Park
Hobo: Anyone have any spare change or medicine for lice?
–Christopher St. station
Overheard by: Matthew Dyke
Hobo: Excuse me, excuse me, sir, do you have change for a 12?
–West 4th Street
Singing hobo: I just spilled, I just spilled, I just spilled my blackberry brand-ayyyy.
–14th St. & 6th Ave.
Overheard by: wayne mitchell
Black woman: White men are fucking idiots! They’re morons.
–M7 bus
Overheard by: Jason Steinhauer
Teenage boy: Man, I seen that guy Q…he’s all the time going to Coney Island.
–57th St. station (Q train terminal stop)
Italian guy: …so my nephew, right? He’s so stupid I gotta make him the lifeguard at my car wash!
–Taormina, Mulberry St.
Overheard by: Eric Rexilius
Guy on cell: I’m at Avenue of the Americas and…Little Brazil Street.
–W. 46th Street & 6th Avenue
A woman in a stupid fleece hat says to her friends, also in stupid fleece hats: This is my backyard when I’m not at the house!
–Central Park, 5th & 59th
Overheard by: Kat Martinez
Hobo: Folks, help me out. I am trying to get my rotor blade fixed on my helicopter!
–W. 10th and 7th Ave
Overheard by: Alex Wipf
Connecticut woman: It was such a joke among my friends; I was always going out with artists or unemployed people…which I guess is the same thing.
–Cuppa Cuppa, East Village
Girl #1: I don’t know how I got pregnant.
Girl #2: Well, don’t you use birth control?
Girl #1: Yes! That’s why I don’t understand. Right after I had sex I squirted in a lot of that birth control foam cream stuff.
Girl #2: After? You’re supposed to put it in before. That’s why it prevents pregnancy.
Girl #1: Oh? I didn’t know that.
Girl #2: You know you oughta get a IUD. There’s nothing to remember or know, they just stick it in there and you can like keep it in there forever!
Girl #1: Who sticks it in?
Girl #2: Forget it. Just go to the doctor like right away like yesterday. Uh, I mean as soon as possible.
–1st & 1st
Overheard by: Deborah Olin
