Drunk girl, to owner of pizza place: Hasta mañana!
Drunk guy: That’s not Italian!
Drunk girl: He’s not Italian, he’s Greek! He speaks Yiddish and Greek!

–30th & 3rd

Woman: Did you call Giuliani? Call in a favor?
Man: I tried, but….
Woman: After all you did for him after 9/11. What a slap in the face.

–Parking garage, 53rd & 5th

Girl on cell: Oh my god, I’m shopping with my mom, and she’s shopping for dildos!

–8th & University

Dude: Yeah, I think I have this disease where I can’t remember people’s names.
Chick: You mean AIDS?

–The Big Easy, 2nd Avenue

Overheard by: Theresa

Queer on cell: You want me to plan something seasonal? In New York City? You mean, like drinking pumpkin lattes in Starbucks?

–E 78th & York

Overheard by: Hollie G.

Hippie hobo: Man, look at those guys out there, working in the tunnels with all that shit. I’d rather be a park ranger, man. Watch me go get another picnic basket! [Pause] God, get me out of this fucking city. New York sucks. I just want to build a tree house.

–Uptown 1 train

Guy to car that nearly hits him as he crosses street against the light: Fuck you! Welcome to New York!

–19th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer

Ghetto chick: You got a homeless guy blowing kisses at you. You’re a real New Yorker now.

–58th & 8th

Tourist dad to young daughter after seeing two hobos: It’s a New York City thing, honey.

–R train

Woman on cell: I’m walking in an urban landscape. I said I’m walking in an urban landscape!

–78th & Park Ave

Conductor: If you step out of the door, the rest of New York can keep going.

–1 train

Overheard by: Xavier

Lady: If the doormen went on strike, what would they do?
Guy: They would stand outside their buildings and picket.
Lady: How is that different from their job other then the fact that
they would be holding a sign?

–3rd & A

Dude #1: It’s not that I have a moral objection to the death penalty. I just don’t think it should be the government making the decision.
Dude #2: Would you prefer an angry mob?

–122nd & Amsterdam

Woman: She brought a bottle of vodka on the plane with her. She was doing shots the whole flight.

–Central Park

Overheard by: sarah

Conductor: The next stop is Cherry Hill, but for the men singing, it was alcohol.

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: Date Rape

Smooth operator: Don’t worry, I thought you were pretty before I got drunk.


Party girl: Yeah, so I did like 10 shots and woke up the next day wearing only one shoe and a sombrero.

–51st St & Broadway

Hobo: Ladies and gentlemen, I have spent all my money on alcohol and marijuana and drugs… But now, I have learned my lesson. I want to spend all your money on alcohol and marijuana and drugs… and viagra…

–Union Square, uptown 6 train

Guy: Dude, I can’t get that drunk. I am trying to fuck that girl tonight.

–Outside Columbia dorm

Bimbette: Oh my god, it was a terrorist act! I’m going to the wine bar.

–68th St & York

Girl #1: I think they should make a sequel to Death of a Salesman.
Girl #2: Are you retarded?

–21st & 3rd

Overheard by: Caitlyn Howell