Yuppie: If there are a thousand of these places in the city, why is it that nobody can name one of them?
–72nd & Columbus
Overheard by: Harry Milkman
Yuppie: If there are a thousand of these places in the city, why is it that nobody can name one of them?
–72nd & Columbus
Overheard by: Harry Milkman
British chick: I just solved my lunch problem, because I hate raw cheese.
–27th Street office
Guy: Bitch, you better give me back my donuts or I’ll pull out your weave.
–Washington Heights
Overheard by: Vinson Guthreau
Guy: Nothing like going to Chuck E. Cheese to make you start drinking again.
–82nd & Amsterdam
Overheard by: JY
Lady: This is a yuppie McDonald’s. It’s all middle class people here.
–McDonald’s, 47th Street
Overheard by: Christa Bramberger
As a Brooklyn Brewery delivery truck passed a toddler on the sidewalk yelled: I love beer!
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: tee sul
Bartender: If the Burp Castle ever closes it means the death of classical music in New York.
–Burp Castle bar, E. 7th Street
Guy on cell: Is this like that time where Laura told me that cat food was Lucky Charms?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Cynthia
Woman: Don’t let your personal freedoms infringe on other people’s rights!
Girl: Who is she talking to?…Holy shit, I love crazy people.
–40th & Broadway
Yuppie chick #1: Pork, it’s the other other white meat.
Yuppie chick #2: No you idiot, that’s baby. Pork is just the other white meat.
–Bryant Park
Yuppie chick #1: I had my taxes done on Saturday. I had to pay Federal and State taxes.
Yuppie chick #2: That sucks.
Yuppie chick #1: Yeah. The only thing I can do to stop paying is have a kid or buy something. Maybe I’ll do number 1.
Yuppie chick #2: No way! I’d much rather buy something!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: MattyWaters
B&T Guy #1: It’s easy. All you gotta do is give her 20 bucks.
B&T Guy #2: Then she jerks you off after she’s done?
B&T Guy #1: I wish!
–Banshee Pub, 74th & 1st
Overheard by: Michael
Yuppie #1: …yeah, those girls don’t want just 20 bucks.
Yuppie #2: Yep, no such thing as free sex in Vietman.
–Maritime Hotel, 9th Ave.
Overheard by: Chaser
Yuppie Chick #1: That’s a cute top. Where’d you get it?
Yuppie Chick #2: BCBG, for like 60 bucks.
Yuppie Chick #1: Wha?! 60 bucks…and it doesn’t even show your tits. What a rip!
–Cafe Aubette, 27th Street
Overheard by: Matt Cohen
Local guy: Man, wake up, you look like you from Wall Street.
Awakened yuppie: Yeah, something like that.
Local guy: Well, you in the hood now! You better get on that [train across the platform] right away!
–New Lots Avenue station
Overheard by: Satoru Ogawa
Yuppie chick: Remember when I showed you that e-mail and it was like one big nervous laugh? He was talking like that, a mile a minute, and I asked, “Are you supercaffeinated?” “No,” he said, he gave up coffee. And he’s like, “So, what are you doing?” And he invited me out to MoMA with Sara, his girlfriend. How awkward would I be? So I basically bailed at that point. So he’s like, “The next time we’re in the city is the 29th for the opera.”
–D train
Yuppie on cell cutting long line, to cashier: I’d like to buy some cookies.
Cashier: Um, the line starts back there, sir.
Yuppie, into cell: I hate the fucking East Side. Everyone thinks they’re hot shit. I can’t figure out this fucking line — all I want to do is buy some fucking cookies… New Jersey is my destiny.
–Bakery, 70th & Lex
Girl: Yeah, so, did you hear that the bald eagle isn’t extinct anymore?
–Central Park
