Yuppie guy on cell: I have to master these machines. You ever use the ones where you put the detergent in the top before?
–79th between Columbus & Broadway
Yuppie guy on cell: I have to master these machines. You ever use the ones where you put the detergent in the top before?
–79th between Columbus & Broadway
Yuppie guy #1: I’ll have a strawberry margarita. As fruity as possible. I just cover it up with a wife and kids.
Yuppie guy #2: Hey, I’m married, and I’m still not comfortable with my sexuality.
Yuppie guy #1: Really?
–79th Street Boat Basin
Overheard by: Andrea Natalie Goldstein
Yuppie guy #1: Armagnac?
Yuppie guy #2: Yeah, armagnac. It’s pretty much like cognac.
Yuppie guy #1: And it’s made by Armani?
–Varick & Franklin
Overheard by: Timothy Wilson
Yuppie: If we just let them kill the Jews we wouldn’t have this problem. Then we could buy oil for $6 a barrel.
–A train
Yuppie #1: She had a great rack.
Yuppie #2: Couldn’t have been real.
Yuppie #1: Yeah, no way.
Yuppie #2: So you’re a rack guy, huh?
Yuppie #1: Nah, I’m an ass.
–18th & 5th
Overheard by: Debl Way
Hipster girl: She asked me, “Like, when you give your grandmother a bath, do you use bleach?”
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Jeremy Dawson
White girl: I know, right? If I’m gonna get fucked over, it’s gonna be by a genuine asshole, not by some pussy-ass white boy who’s not even good in bed.
–Williamsburg
Woman on cell: …is it wrong that I just kind of want to shit all over her whenever she mentions something good happening in her life?
–Bedford Avenue station
Man: All I ever want to do is hang around my apartment. Nekkid. With money taped all over me.
–Montrose Avenue station
Overheard by: K.M.
Yuppie: If there are a thousand of these places in the city, why is it that nobody can name one of them?
–72nd & Columbus
Overheard by: Harry Milkman
British chick: I just solved my lunch problem, because I hate raw cheese.
–27th Street office
Guy: Bitch, you better give me back my donuts or I’ll pull out your weave.
–Washington Heights
Overheard by: Vinson Guthreau
Guy: Nothing like going to Chuck E. Cheese to make you start drinking again.
–82nd & Amsterdam
Overheard by: JY
Lady: This is a yuppie McDonald’s. It’s all middle class people here.
–McDonald’s, 47th Street
Overheard by: Christa Bramberger
As a Brooklyn Brewery delivery truck passed a toddler on the sidewalk yelled: I love beer!
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: tee sul
Bartender: If the Burp Castle ever closes it means the death of classical music in New York.
–Burp Castle bar, E. 7th Street
Guy on cell: Is this like that time where Laura told me that cat food was Lucky Charms?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Cynthia
Woman: Don’t let your personal freedoms infringe on other people’s rights!
Girl: Who is she talking to?…Holy shit, I love crazy people.
–40th & Broadway
Yuppie chick #1: Pork, it’s the other other white meat.
Yuppie chick #2: No you idiot, that’s baby. Pork is just the other white meat.
–Bryant Park
Yuppie chick #1: I had my taxes done on Saturday. I had to pay Federal and State taxes.
Yuppie chick #2: That sucks.
Yuppie chick #1: Yeah. The only thing I can do to stop paying is have a kid or buy something. Maybe I’ll do number 1.
Yuppie chick #2: No way! I’d much rather buy something!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: MattyWaters
