Dude #1: I never knew people actually lived on Staten Island.
Dude #2: I know!
Dude #1: I thought it was just a big mall.
Dude #2: With the Mafia…
Dude #1: And garbage…
Dude #2: I know!
Dude #1: You know what’s totally sad? I got a 1450 on my SATs.
–A train
A record company assistant is flirting with an older music executive. She asks: Do you have a girlfriend?
He responds by holding out his hand with fingers extended to show his wedding band.
Assistant: You have five girlfriends?
–Joe’s Pub
amNew York guy: I wouldn’t mind having her as President. I just don’t want her to turn every building in New York pink. But I’m all for having a woman as President.
–Hoyt-Schemerhorn station
Intellectual: Man, I was reading the Koran the other day. It’s such bullshit; the Bible is way better.
–7B, East Village
Guy: Where do you live again?
Girl: Right over there.
Guy: Can I walk you home?
Girl: But it’s right over there…
–Orchard Street
Girl on phone: I forget what the BD stands for, but I’m pretty sure the SM stand for sado-masochism. My ad was in the platonic section, anyway.
–60th & Columbus
Overheard by: Alaska
Girl #1: I don’t know how I got pregnant.
Girl #2: Well, don’t you use birth control?
Girl #1: Yes! That’s why I don’t understand. Right after I had sex I squirted in a lot of that birth control foam cream stuff.
Girl #2: After? You’re supposed to put it in before. That’s why it prevents pregnancy.
Girl #1: Oh? I didn’t know that.
Girl #2: You know you oughta get a IUD. There’s nothing to remember or know, they just stick it in there and you can like keep it in there forever!
Girl #1: Who sticks it in?
Girl #2: Forget it. Just go to the doctor like right away like yesterday. Uh, I mean as soon as possible.
–1st & 1st
Overheard by: Deborah Olin
Guy #1: You know what I found out about Japanese people? They love noodles.
Guy #2: Really?
–Anytime Cafe, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Manlio Lo Conte
Guy: Wait, I missed that. So you were born, and then what happened?
–Brooklyn Botanical Gardens
Overheard by: Sherri Feldman
Guy #1: She’s tired.
Guy #2: So is her.
–7th Ave & 23rd St.
