Yuppie: If we just let them kill the Jews we wouldn’t have this problem. Then we could buy oil for $6 a barrel.
–A train
Yuppie: If we just let them kill the Jews we wouldn’t have this problem. Then we could buy oil for $6 a barrel.
–A train
Woman: You know, on 9/11 I was the only person in lower Manhattan who wasn’t coughing and tearing up. My husband, he had a handkerchief over his mouth and all the visine and shit and I was like, “Bring it on! This tastes good!” You know why? ‘Cause I’m a smoker.
–MSG elevator
Man #1: He’s put on some weight. I don’t remember him being that fat in The Last Five Years.
Man #2: Well, having two kids’ll do that to you.
–Imperial Theatre, West 45th Street
Mother: So Krusty couldn’t find his star in the Jewish Hall of Fame.
Boy: There was a Jewish Hall of Fame?
Mother: Yeah, and Shari Lewis and Lamb Chop were there.
Father: Lamb Chop was a Jewish lamb?
–Windsor Terrace
Girl: Let’s make a baby.
Boy: What?
Girl: Well, not to keep or anything.
–A train
Guy #1: Hi, I’m Bryan.
Guy #2: I’m Brian too!
Guy #1: I’m Bryan with a Y.
Guy #2: I’m Brian with a B.
–Wonderbar, Avenue A
Girl #1: Oh my god, I wonder what language was that?
Girl #2: That was English.
–Broadway between 101st & 102nd
Black girl #1: Do you know what RSVP stands for?
Black girl #2: Respond as soon as possible?
Black girl #1: No, stupid it’s r.s.v.p.. It stands for repond s’il vous plait, it’s French.
Black girl #2: Spell it!
Black girl #1: R-e-s-p-o-n-d c-i v-u p-l-a-y. Don’t you know anything.
–4 train
Woman: Hi.
Cashier lady: Huh?
Lady: Hi.
Cashier lady: Oh.
The cashier finishes checking the lady out.
Lady: Thanks.
Cashier lady: Huh?
Lady: Never mind.
–Fine Fare, Clinton Street
Overheard by: Heather
Guy #1: So what do you do?
Guy #2: I’m a therapist.
Guy #1: Wow. Master’s or PhD?
Guy #2: Massage.
–22nd & 8th
Overheard by: Ben Wade
