Boy, 6: It was magic.
Mom: No, it wasn’t magic; it was a miracle. There is a difference.
–Broadway & Dey
Boy, 6: It was magic.
Mom: No, it wasn’t magic; it was a miracle. There is a difference.
–Broadway & Dey
Girlfriend: So let me get this straight, you think that God used the tiger to punish Roy?
Boyfriend: I think it’s possible.
Girlfriend: I can’t believe I’m dating you. What’s wrong with you, you have gay friends.
Boyfriend: Whoa, do you think I’m some sort of right-wing nut? I have no problem with gays. God punished him for dabbling in the black arts.
Girlfriend: Oh…huh?
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: Peter Lucas
Conductor: This is 72nd St. Stand clear of the closing doors. B train. B for "brighten up your day" train. (at the next stop) Folks, this is 59th Street, and just like magic we are now an express train. B express train. Stand clear of the closing doors.
–B Train
Overheard by: ryder
Train conductor: You can transfer to the M as in "money," the N as in "Nick," and the R as in "Romeoooooo!"
–D Train
Guy on cell, giving directions: So you take the D line… No, D as in "David." D! D! A, b, c, d! (pause) No, D. Okay…then you walk down to Hoffman Street… Hoffman Street, as in "Dustin Hoffman." He's that actor, with a big nose, that you really like, the one that's in that movie about your life…yeah…yeah! He's a cross-dresser! Tootsie! That's you, bro!
–Arthur Ave
Overheard by: eternal student
Creepy old man to creepy friend: We should be on the V. V for "vagina". We're on the F. F for "fuck."
–Downtown F Train
Overheard by: CL
Conductor: There is no C train like "Charlie" all weekend. The D train like "Dick" is helping us out. I probably shouldn't have said that. It's okay, you'll overlook that when I tell you that this A train will keep its express status.
–A Train
Overheard by: Nay
College intern hitting friend with magic wand: Naked Bitch with big titties.
Little kid: Is that a real magic wand?!
–FAO Schwartz
Conductor: This is Prince Street. Not Half-blood Prince Street, but Prince Street.
–N train
Overheard by: she later invited the passengers to debate whether snape was a criminal or a hero
30-year old fan: … And then he sprinkled magic dust over her throbbing vagina…
–Book release, Spring & Mercer
Overheard by: santos l. halper
Man to five-year-old son: Yeah, you know Harry Potter is now in this play in London where he plays a naked guy that has sex with horses? Comin’ to Broadway soon.
–Harry Potter Pl on Mercer St
Overheard by: i don’t THINK that’s how it goes actually…
Girl glancing at boy reading Deathly Hallows: Does Frodo die?
–Strings Attached Theater Company’s performance of Life As We Know It
Older gay guy on cell: In the 60s, you didn't need to have passion or talent to be an artist; you just needed to have a van, because no one else was going to haul your shitty art around.
–7th Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: Miss C
Girl reading sign at Frank Lloyd Wright museum: Oh… He was an architect!
–Guggenheim Museum
Overheard by: Antartic
Mom to little girl: If you look at too much art in one day, you'll turn into a statue.
–MoMA
Guy on phone: Yeah, she said she didn't think I would want to go, but why the fuck not? I'll go to a fucking museum if I fucking want to. I'll look at some paintings and shit.
–Downtown Brooklyn
Overheard by: Mark McLaughlin
12-year-old boy, looking at Picasso paintings: This is totally my thing, man, it's like free porn.
–MoMA
Girl #1: So I want that job as a magician’s assistant, but I don’t know enough about webpages.
Girl #2: Oh, it’s a web design job?
Girl #1: No, I was gonna get cut in half and stuff, but he wants someone who can update his website too.
–L train shuttle bus
Overheard by: Harrison Hunter
Guy: It's like August: Osage County, but with zombies.
–Manhattan Theatre Source
Overheard by: Emily B.
Girl: You know what they say: two in the bush, one in the wizard.
–Dorm, Pratt Institute
College student: Ghosts? They're like VT!
–186th St & Amsterdam
Black female suit on cell: Yeah, well you betta hope Tinkabell comes along… Or whoever the fuck it is who grants you ya damn wishes!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: emily d.
Annoyed man on cell walking down stairs: No, mom, I don't know what werewolves eat! No, mom, I don't! Mom, I can't talk right now, I'm going into the subway!
–Union Square Subway Entrance
Overheard by: Masked Avenger
Man: So yeah, he went away to a fairy commune, but I hear he’s having a really good time.
–42nd & 8th
Overheard by: Gabriel and Lauren
Woman #1: Excuse me, could you hold my place in line?
Woman #2: What do I look like, a magician?
–Post Office, Sunnyside