Woman #1: Oh, look over there… that is just tragic.
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: Ugly twins.
–15th & 5th
Overheard by: Manhattman
Woman #1: Oh, look over there… that is just tragic.
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: Ugly twins.
–15th & 5th
Overheard by: Manhattman
Girl #1: Is that lady wearing tights, or is she just really pale?
Girl #2: Well, this is just a guess, but most men don’t wear tights.
–Roosevelt Island tram
Overheard by: Julia Kite
Chick: If you don’t want to look like a lesbian at the party, make sure you stay a little drunk the whole time.
–57th & 5th
Overheard by: Annie
Girl: You’re so autistic.
Guy: What? Do you mean artistic?
Girl: No, I mean autistic. Like Marlee Matlin.
–Washington Square Park
Teen boy: Yo, I’m here selling candy today. And, no, it’s not what you think. It’s not for no school club or no fundraiser. I’m here selling you candy so that I can stay off the streets and make some money. It keeps me honest.
Woman: Why wouldn’t you lie and say it was for school?
–A train
Overheard by: Keith Layton
Guy: You are every guy’s worst nightmare, you fuck with their heads!
Girl: Hey, I’m not fucking with anyone’s head! And it’s called mental foreplay anyway.
–Broadway & 11th
White girl: Excuse me…excuse me…Can I please get the fuck by?
Hispanic guy: You don’t have to push, bitch!
White girl: Well, if you would stop with all that Mira! Mira! Mira! shit and stop looking and start listening maybe you wouldn’t get yelled at like a dumbass!
–A train, 125th Street station
Overheard by: Dixie Mae
Teenage girl: Biggie, 50-Cent, Jadakiss, Usher, you’re always writing all over your shit. I don’t see them writing “Phil” all over their books.
–Wadleigh High, W. 114th Street
Chick #1: Who the fuck reads books. I mean, books?
Chick #2: I read books, bitch!
–86th & Broadway
A Russian lady mutters to herself: I want to be at the front of the line so I can pick my seat, I’m not sitting by some fat, smelly person.
She tries to cut to the front of the line, unsuccessfully.
Russian lady: I was here the whole time! I was standing right next to this lady!
This lady: No, she wasn’t.
Conductor: You better get to the back of the line, ma’am.
Russian lady: But I was here the whole time! Where’s your manager? I want to talk to the manager!
Conductor: Please step to the back of the line, you’ve gotta wait in line like everyone else.
Russian lady: I know what your problem is! I bet you don’t like white people!
Everyone else in line burst out laughing, and she was escorted away by security.
–Port Authority
Woman: Well, at least the Mexicans are friendly and they’re always working. Unlike those goddamn Russians! You know what I mean!
–Bensonhurst
Overheard by: Deborah Olin
Chick: I don’t get Spanish guys. They compliment you every time you pass them. They always say things like, “You have beautiful legs, in my country it is an honor for a woman to be told she has beautiful legs”. Well, you’re in NY now, honey, and I’m a bitch!
–5th Ave. & 82nd St.
Player: Excuse me miss, you’re even better looking than J. Lo. Can I have your autograph?
–Fulton Street mall
Hobo: Hey, you a pretty lady. You married?…I got food stamps!
–Astoria
Overheard by: mj
