Guy: You are every guy’s worst nightmare, you fuck with their heads!
Girl: Hey, I’m not fucking with anyone’s head! And it’s called mental foreplay anyway.
–Broadway & 11th
Guy: You are every guy’s worst nightmare, you fuck with their heads!
Girl: Hey, I’m not fucking with anyone’s head! And it’s called mental foreplay anyway.
–Broadway & 11th
White girl: Excuse me…excuse me…Can I please get the fuck by?
Hispanic guy: You don’t have to push, bitch!
White girl: Well, if you would stop with all that Mira! Mira! Mira! shit and stop looking and start listening maybe you wouldn’t get yelled at like a dumbass!
–A train, 125th Street station
Overheard by: Dixie Mae
Teenage girl: Biggie, 50-Cent, Jadakiss, Usher, you’re always writing all over your shit. I don’t see them writing “Phil” all over their books.
–Wadleigh High, W. 114th Street
Chick #1: Who the fuck reads books. I mean, books?
Chick #2: I read books, bitch!
–86th & Broadway
A Russian lady mutters to herself: I want to be at the front of the line so I can pick my seat, I’m not sitting by some fat, smelly person.
She tries to cut to the front of the line, unsuccessfully.
Russian lady: I was here the whole time! I was standing right next to this lady!
This lady: No, she wasn’t.
Conductor: You better get to the back of the line, ma’am.
Russian lady: But I was here the whole time! Where’s your manager? I want to talk to the manager!
Conductor: Please step to the back of the line, you’ve gotta wait in line like everyone else.
Russian lady: I know what your problem is! I bet you don’t like white people!
Everyone else in line burst out laughing, and she was escorted away by security.
–Port Authority
Woman: Well, at least the Mexicans are friendly and they’re always working. Unlike those goddamn Russians! You know what I mean!
–Bensonhurst
Overheard by: Deborah Olin
Chick: I don’t get Spanish guys. They compliment you every time you pass them. They always say things like, “You have beautiful legs, in my country it is an honor for a woman to be told she has beautiful legs”. Well, you’re in NY now, honey, and I’m a bitch!
–5th Ave. & 82nd St.
Player: Excuse me miss, you’re even better looking than J. Lo. Can I have your autograph?
–Fulton Street mall
Hobo: Hey, you a pretty lady. You married?…I got food stamps!
–Astoria
Overheard by: mj
Girl #1: She always has this miserable look about her.
Girl #2: Dude, that’s just her face.
Girl #1: Ew.
–Lincoln Center
Two women are waiting for the bathroom.
Woman #1: They’ve been 20 minutes in there, all you need to do is rip down your underwear and you’re done, it’s not difficult!
Woman #2: Yeah, are they, like, having babies in there?
–Barnes & Noble, 5th Avenue
Woman: Excuse me. I have to put something in my dryer.
Girl folding clothes: Oh, okay.
Woman: Excuse me! I have to put something else in my dryer.
Girl: O-kay…
Woman: Now I have to take something out of my dryer…unbelievable.
Girl: Wow, you’re a case!
Woman: I’m a what?!
Girl: A case. I’ve never seen anybody so worked up over laundry.
Woman: Well, you haven’t lived very long, have you?
Girl: Not as long as you!…Have a nice day!
Woman: Fuck you!
–York Launderette, York Avenue and E. 82nd
Bronzing Blonde: So this guy was like “I can’t tan in that bed, I’ll burn,” so I said, “Um, your last name is Garcia, you shouldn’t burn that easily.”
Bronzing Brunette: Seriously? I mean just because your last name is Garcia doesn’t mean it’s okay to be stupid.
–Tanning salon, 7th Avenue between 38th & 39th
A punk guy whispers in some chick’s ear. She retorts with: Oh yeah? Well, if it’s so big why don’t you bend it backwards, sit on it, and fuck yourself?
–Manitoba’s, Ave. B
Overheard by: Deborah Olin
