Girl: You’ve been going out with him for two months and only now did you realize he has one testicle.
–Spring & West Broadway
Girl: You’ve been going out with him for two months and only now did you realize he has one testicle.
–Spring & West Broadway
Hetard: What did you do that for?
Shetard: Because I love you.
Hetard: Why do you love me?
Shetard: If I have to answer that again this week, I will shoot myself.
–Port Authority
Girl #1: So I mean, he’s upset about her cheating on him, like crying and shit? Has he talked to her about this? That’s really shitty of her.
Girl #2: You do know they’re not having sex, right?
Girl #1: …How much non-sex are we talking?
–N train
Chick: The problem with reading is that you can’t do it when you’re fucked up.
–31st & 2nd
Woman on cell: I’m so, like, a vegetarian, for real you know? But only, like, on Wednesdays.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Angela
Guy on cell: Dude did so much K that he turned into Terri Schiavo.
–Union Square
Chick: I know this guy who’s perfect for you…he’s a complete idiot.
–Columbia University
Guy: Wow, I didn’t even know things existed here.
–Port Authority, 2nd Floor
Guy: Well at one point he took off his boots, a while later tried to put them back on. I told him that they were the wrong feet. Then he looked at me and said, “No…these are my feet.”
–Hank’s Saloon, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Kimberly Handle
Hobo #1: 100 years ago, America was full of real men! Real men who carried guns and wouldn’t be afraid to shoot you!…Hey baby, what stop you lookin’ for?
Hobo #2: She don’t like you.
Hobo #1: Yeah she does! I know everything about women! Ya just don’t marry them!
–53rd Street station
Overheard by: Dan
Girl: Are you mad at me?
Guy: No.
Girl: Are you being sarcastic?
Guy: No.
Girl: Now are you being sarcastic?
Guy: No.
Girl: Now are you being sarcastic?
Guy: Well yeah, now.
–B45 bus
Overheard by: Gradie Smith
White guy: Did I tell you I met a White chick?
Girl: No…do you like her?
White guy: She’s cool. She’s from Brooklyn, so that softens the blow.
–Times Square
Boy: You need to get a boyfriend.
Girl: I know boys.
Boy: No, you don’t.
Girl: I hang out with my gay peeps.
Boy: Gay peeps aren’t gonna get you far in life.
–Penn Station
Teen girl: Like, I thought he was Jewish but then he ate a gyro so I dumped him.
Teen boy: That’s rough. Did he have it with that white sauce?
Teen girl: What difference does that make? Shit, you’re dumb.
–F train
Overheard by: Steph Gold
Power suit woman on cell: No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no. Are you listening to me? I said no! Absolutely not…Why are we arguing about this? Are you listening to me? No. No. You never listen to me. You never listen…Fine. Fine. Do whatever you have to do. But let me tell you this: if you ever thought that I loved you, you have been kidding yourself for a long time!
–50th & 6th
Overheard by: joe jervis
