Sophomore girl #1: Did you hear Matt and Derek are going out now?
Sophomore girl #2: No way! I totally gave Matt his first blow job. He can't be gay! (pauses) Oh my god! Do you think I turned him gay?
Passing junior guy: Yeah, that'd do it.

High School
Annapolis, Maryland

Short boy, yelling inches away from short girl's face: We should hang out!
Short girl: (walks away silently)
Tall boy, laughing: Dude!

High School
Eugene, Oregon

Drunk guy to girlfriend: I care about you a lot. It sucks.

Park Tavern
Jersey City, New Jersey

Teenage girl on cell: I don't get on with him at all…we're just like bread and butter.


Overheard by: Steve Elliott

Girl #1: He stabbed me in the face, but he awright.
Girl #2: (unintelligible)
Girl #1: Yeah! It's like he don't care about my well-being.

Grand Rapids, Michigan

Man walking down street: Dude… your woman just said “we need to talk.” You need to get the fuck out of there right now!

San Francisco, California

Attractive passerby: And then she was all like, “my parents would never press charges against you.” And I was so touched…

Houston, Texas

20-something girl on phone: Wait, he gave you a bite of his burrito and you're questioning his feelings for you? (pause) Girl, he practically proposed right there!

University of Missouri

Overheard by: Black Bean

Guy: My mom hit my dad with a frying pan. He doesn't have a cheek anymore. It's been entirely restructured. She used to beat the shit out of him! It was so funny. But when he drunk–that's when she'd get a beating.
Girl, sympathetically: Your family…
Guy: Oh, I love my family! I don't know what I'd do without them!

Neptune City, New Jersey

Man on cell on train: No, I told you nothing's wrong, I'm just tired. (very long pause) No, nothing's wrong. We don't need to have a talk. (long pause) No, I told you, nothing's wrong. I'm on the train. (very long pause, then annoyed) Do you want to make that pasta tonight? That sounds like fun.

Chicago, Illinois