Guy #1: Dude, I know this is kinda gay, but I played The Sims last night naked and it was awesome.
Guy #2: Oh, that’s solid. I watch TV naked all the time. Not recently, though. I’ve been studying for my econ midterm constantly, and you can’t be naked in the library.
Guy #1: That sucks, ’cause it’s like…being naked just always feels better.
Guy #2: Totally. Ceteris paribus, I say, “do it naked.”
–Columbia University
Man: Shouldn’t you kids be in school?
Teen girl: Shouldn’t you be in Japan?
–F train
Overheard by: Cristopher
Shopgirl #1: So school starts again soon?
Shopgirl #2: Yeah. School starts soon. But it’s not anything interesting, like math. It’s like, all history and sociology and ethnics. Ethics.
–American Apparel, E. Houston Street
Overheard by: isti
Girl #1: ‘Twas never a merry world since of two–
Girl #2: Oh, fuck! Start over. I forgot the vibrator.
–Broadway Residence Hall, Columbia University
Guy: I want to go to FIT so I can hook up with girls.
–27th & 7th
Girl: I mean, I got shat on at Harvard.
–9th Street & 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Kamran Javadizadeh
Woman: Is there a special event going on at Columbia this summer? Because I’ve seen a lot of Asians around.
–116th & Broadway
Overheard by: Carrie
Hipster girl: I mean, I’ve got like, over 160 facebook friends. Does that not mean anything?
–56th & 6th
Overheard by: Joyce Shen
Sociology professor: No one knows what the hell Derrida is talking about, but we all pretend we do anyway.
–Columbia
Overheard by: djlindee
NYU chick on cell: You know you’re having a bad day when you break your aura.
–West 4th & Jones
Overheard by: Sam Zimman
Guy: NYU is like a disease. It’s shaping the minds of the fucking
future.
–South Street seaport
Chick on cell: Oh my god, I just totally bombed my final. But it’s not fair. It’s not my fault I got stuck in a class with all smart people. My grade’s totally going to skyrocket downwards.
–NYU, Waverly & Washington Square East
Overheard by: LMF
Juilliard guy: Why does everyone at Juilliard have to be so deep? I mean, we’re in class and the professor puts a box in the middle of the room and everyone starts in, “Oh, that represents my soul!” or “Oh, that is the heavens opening up to take me in!” No man, that’s just a damn box! All that represents to me is a damn box. Everyone needs to get over themselves at this damn school…
–Juilliard elevator
Chick #1: Look, look, it’s that school. You know they be smokin’ ‘n shit over there!
Chick #2: Yeah, why you think we used to go up in there? I love that school, they be doing X in there ‘n shit. Everybody be chillin’ in da hallways doin’ whateva, makin’ out ‘n shit, you know?
Chick #3: For real?
Chick #2: Why you think we used to hang out there?
–D train
Overheard by: CM
Employee: Can I leave at 5?
Boss: Why?
Employee: I cannot work here for more than 5 hours day, for medical reasons.
Boss: What reason?
Employee: Well, this work is so dull and unsatisfying that if I work more than 5 hours a day I could jump out the window?
Boss: Wait, did you say you go to NYU?
–22nd Street office
Bystander guy #1: Congratulations!
Bystander guy #2: One sixteenth of you are gonna make it!
–NYU Graduation Ceremony, Washington Square Park
A scruffy guy is on his cell in an otherwise silent internet cafe. His thoughts: No…it’s not in the heart of the city…it’s like the artery.
You remember that postcard of New York I sent you for your birthday? I think you can see my building if you look closely…well you know the best pictures of it are in books, and I love you guys, you’re my family, but I’m not about to spend $15 on one of those books.
Yeah…I came up with this great analogy yesterday. I said, “If you know little math problems and little words, you’ll make a little money, but if you know big problems and big words, you get lotsa money!…I know, I know, I think they got it!
Yeah, well you know 80% of the people I work with are spanish…its not like that in Spokane…so everything here revolves around them…but you know what? The other day one of the girls came up to me and said, “Everyone thinks you’re such a nice guy”. That was so nice; I wasn’t even trying…I didn’t know they thought that…see I apply all the stuff you taught me and incorporate it into my lifestyle.
–Internet cafe, E. 33rd between 5th and Madison
