Girl #1: I like to surround myself with ugly people because it makes me look prettier by comparison.
Girl #2: I know what you mean.
–F train
Overheard by: Daile
Girl #1: I like to surround myself with ugly people because it makes me look prettier by comparison.
Girl #2: I know what you mean.
–F train
Overheard by: Daile
Guy: Your breath stinks, get away from me!
Girl: I just woke up. Imagine if the Prince had said that to Snow White? You think her breath smelled so great?
–98th & Columbus
Overheard by: Danielle Harris
Girl: Mom, how long do you think the turtle will live?
Mother: What do I look like, a fucking turtle connoisseur?
–Canal & West Broadway
Overheard by: David Kopach
Girl #1: She’s such a cranky hobag slut.
Girl #2: I love how we call her “slut” and she’s never even had sex with another cat. Ever.
–Williamsburg coffee shop
Hipster girl: I want him to think I’m clever, not some desperate a-hole.
Hipster guy: Good luck!
–Central Park
Guy: Is that your boyfriend? I saw you guys making out at the bar.
Drunk girl: He’s just a friend. He’s whatever. I’ll probably be making out with you tomorrow.
Guy: That’s great.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Spooner
Suit: I mean, I felt like a complete idiot. I had no idea. You go to the Met and they’ll just give you a wheelchair. All this time I’ve been walking around the damn place! You don’t even have to have a note saying you’re handicapped or something.
–2nd Avenue & 13th Street
Girl: Ugh. I hate it when guys come up to me and start talking about current events. Like I care. I just dismiss them.
–Queens College
Jock #1: …Yeah, but I heard she was dating someone.
Jock #2: She can date…my balls.
Jock #1: Classy, man. Classy.
–Modell’s, E. 86th Street
Girl #1: I can’t believe I did that last night.
Girl #2: You mean what you do every night? Get drunk and harrass a woman?
–60th & Lexington
Conductor: Good news for riders going local. This train is not going express, as previously announced, but going local, like normal. If there’s such a thing as normal…Questions? Comments? Suggestions? See your conductor, located in the center of the train. Don’t just walk around confused. Ask me! I know! Usually…Just a reminder to turn those frowns upside-down. Smiling burns more calories!
Guy: Giving the finger to the conductor burns calories, too.
–R train
Overheard by: Dawn
