Clerk lady #1: There’s no price on this, no bar code. I can’t sell it.
Clerk lady #2: Hold on, just call accessories.
Clerk lady #1: How do I do that?
Clerk lady #2: Accessories!
–Century 21, Cortlandt Street
Clerk lady #1: There’s no price on this, no bar code. I can’t sell it.
Clerk lady #2: Hold on, just call accessories.
Clerk lady #1: How do I do that?
Clerk lady #2: Accessories!
–Century 21, Cortlandt Street
Smoker guy #1: …I won’t be in on Thursday cause of Yom Kippur.
Smoker guy #2: You can’t come to work?
Smoker guy #1: Can’t work, can’t eat, can’t drink.
Smoker guy #2: Can’t eat or drink anything?
Smoker guy #1: Nothing from sundown to sundown.
Smoker guy #2: Jesus!
Smoker guy #1: Wrong.
–49th & 8th
Part of a building under construction fell off into another house, summoning 10 fire trucks.
Lady: See? Maybe this will teach those Jews from building them so high.
–Williamsburg
Boss lady: She needs to get her ass back to work and finish this shit up. I hate these 2 days Jews; tomorrow she’ll be eating a bacon cheeseburger.
–Office, Wall Street
Girl: They’re making a musical of Siegfried and Roy’s life.
Guy: Didn’t they do that on Friends already?
Girl: They did?
Guy: Yeah, remember Joey was the singing psychiatrist?
–Wall & Exchange
Girl #1: I wish we coulda seen those magicians with the tigers, but they don’t perform anymore…
Girl #2: You mean Sigmund Freud and Roy?
–Circulo Theater, E. 4th Street
Overheard by: scott cendali
Girl: Mom, how long do you think the turtle will live?
Mother: What do I look like, a fucking turtle connoisseur?
–Canal & West Broadway
Overheard by: David Kopach
Asian man: Excuse me, do you know where is the Staten Island Ferry?
Suit: Yeah, just keep walking in this direction along the water. It’s the big orange motherfucker, you can’t miss it.
–Battery Park
Dad: See there? When people tell you to go jump off the Brooklyn Bridge, that’s where you have to go.
–South Street Seaport
Overheard by: Jackie Randazzo
Guy: So you’re saying tuna is really dolphin?
Lady: That’s why it says “Dolphin Safe”. It’s safe to eat even though it’s dolphin.
–Broadway & Worth
Yuppie guy #1: Armagnac?
Yuppie guy #2: Yeah, armagnac. It’s pretty much like cognac.
Yuppie guy #1: And it’s made by Armani?
–Varick & Franklin
Overheard by: Timothy Wilson
Girl #1: …so I like tried it last night, and it wasn’t that bad and all…not like great, but not too gross or whatever. But then he like, wanted to jackoff on my Pop-Tart today, and I was like, “Yuck, get out!”
Girl #2: Do you think these sneakers are geeky?
–Battery Park
Woman on cell: For five years you wouldn’t marry me because your mother was sick. Well, your mother’s fucking dead and you still won’t marry me!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Robbie
Goombah: So what? I went and had a couple beers with Junior! You know what? Fuck you, bitch! I want you outta my house when I get home!
–Brooklyn Heights
Man on cell: So what has changed from then to now?…of course! The vibrator! So that’s it, huh?
–Central Park
Overheard by: jeannette
Guy: That’s one of the reasons I had to dump her. I’d see all these
girls on the street and be like, “Hey now!”
–Broadway & Spring
Guy on cell: I moved all the way here and now you won’t even marry me?
–Broadway & 57th
