Guy #1: Tell em’ what I did.
Guy #2: Pissed on her.
Guy #1: I pissed on her face while she was sleeping!
–Coney Island Boardwalk
Overheard by: Kate C.
Guy #1: Tell em’ what I did.
Guy #2: Pissed on her.
Guy #1: I pissed on her face while she was sleeping!
–Coney Island Boardwalk
Overheard by: Kate C.
Girl: It doesn’t matter if you’re skinny or fat–being anorexic is when you don’t eat because you only think that you’re fat!
Guy: No, people don’t eat because they’re not hungry.
–N train
Overheard by: Steph Lo
Sunbathing chick #1: Oh, girl, you so skinny. They should name you “Miss Congene-u-ality”.
Sunbather #2: Oh no no no, I don’t puke.
–Central Park Great Lawn
Overheard by: Jordan the Intern
Man: So let me get this straight: you still buy him stuffed animals–
Woman: Yeah.
Man: –but he just broke up with his girlfriend because she got too fat.
Woman: Yup.
Man: How old is he?
Woman: Nine.
–Starbucks, 114th & Broadway
Overheard by: Jack Vanston
Guy: Bitch took everything…my watch, my ring, the ring she bought
me…she took the ring I bought her. She came and took everything.
Baby carriage lady: I told that bitch go ahead, take everything, she could have all that. ’cause you know what? I have your
husband.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: remyzero
Woman on cell: For five years you wouldn’t marry me because your mother was sick. Well, your mother’s fucking dead and you still won’t marry me!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Robbie
Goombah: So what? I went and had a couple beers with Junior! You know what? Fuck you, bitch! I want you outta my house when I get home!
–Brooklyn Heights
Man on cell: So what has changed from then to now?…of course! The vibrator! So that’s it, huh?
–Central Park
Overheard by: jeannette
Guy: That’s one of the reasons I had to dump her. I’d see all these
girls on the street and be like, “Hey now!”
–Broadway & Spring
Guy on cell: I moved all the way here and now you won’t even marry me?
–Broadway & 57th
Woman on cell: Yeah, he told me the next day that he cried himself to sleep. I got so mad. I was like, “I don’t wanna hear that shit!”
–Target, Atlantic Avenue
Overheard by: alex
Chick: Is it really cheating if it only happened once?
–26th & Lexington
Guy on cell: Look, I’m driving so I can’t talk right now, ok? Good-bye…Fucking bitch, never leaves me alone.
–Burger King, Union Turnpike
Overheard by: Megan Cowles
Girl: So are we breakin’ up or what? It’s getting late!
–59th & Lexington
Overheard by: Mike
Teen girl: Like, I thought he was Jewish but then he ate a gyro so I dumped him.
Teen boy: That’s rough. Did he have it with that white sauce?
Teen girl: What difference does that make? Shit, you’re dumb.
–F train
Overheard by: Steph Gold
Guy #1: So what happened with you and Liz?
Guy #2: We broke up last week.
Guy #1: For good this time?
Guy #2: Yeah, well, I told her to go get fucked, and apparently that’s just what she did.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ted Stickels
Woman: …and he wanted to break up with me so badly, he was like,
“Here, I’ll buy you an apartment!”
–Central Park sailboat pond
Overheard by: Sarahvb
Teen chick: I wouldn’t want to get married because it takes so long to get a divorce!
–Rockefeller Park
Russian lady: Ya…my mother was lucky. Not many women divorce lawyers.
–6 train
Lady: Come on, since my fucking boyfriend is a fucking crack head, we are fucking gonna pick up some guys tonight.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Julia Wright
Girl: I’m getting kind of tired of him. He used to be the kind of guy you could go out with and never have to talk.
–6 train
Guy on cell: …so I can fuck her, but I can’t marry her. See she’s Orthodox, but not Orthodox enough.
–Duane Reade, 51st & 3rd
Overheard by: Aryeh Jasper
Chick on cell: Honey, your boyfriend isn’t a boyfriend. He’s, like, a boyfriend-substitute…He’s, like, the I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter of boyfriends.
–Times Square
Overheard by: djlindee
Girl on cell: I knew it was over when I grabbed his shirt and he told me I was pulling his hair.
–Bleecker & W. 11th
Overheard by: Alaska
Guy: Yeah, but the guy’s the Michael Jackson of dishwashing…
–Houston Street & Avenue B
Overheard by: Andrew Williams
Girl, 14: I can’t imagine laying next to him in bed. He’d have to bring a GPS device.
Boy, 14: Yeah, how to get from point A to point B.
–6 train
Lesbian: Whatever, we can break up, I don’t care. You were only good for sex and Scrabble. The sex wasn’t even good and I can play Scrabble online.
–6 train
Overheard by: Tom V
