Wednesday One‐Liners Follow Their Bliss

Drunk girl: I remember the bouncing, I remember the moaning, I just can’t remember the name.

–Cooper 35, Astor Place

Overheard by: dan

Gay man: I went there to get spiritual, and I came back all ‘Boys, boys, boys.’

–5^th Ave & 11^th St

Chick on cell: This is one of those moments when polyamory would really come in handy, huh?

–Harlem

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Girl talking to herself: I am not a ho — I took the lie detector test, and it told you I was not a ho so stop calling me that.

–1 train

Overheard by: will

Chick: She had, like, 20 brothers and sisters because her dad was Haitian and he just kept sleeping with people…

–Subway bar, 60^th & Lex

Chick: This year I am going to try and not make out with both Samatha and her boyfriend.

–W 53^rd between 9^th and 10^th Ave

Overheard by: Still Laughing

Posted on January 12, 2023
All Wednesday One-Liners, Drinking & Drunk People, Hook Ups, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, One Night Stand, Promiscuity, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

And You Already Get Mocked by Saleswomen When You Try to Shop

Girl: So I decided that from now on, I’m not kissing anyone on one night stands.
Queer (gasping): That’s so Pretty Woman!

–A Train

Posted on September 5, 2021
Default, Girls, Movies, On the Subway, One Night Stand, Queer guys

Spring is in the Air (Alongside TB)

Hobo #1: I love you.
Hobo #2: Get the fuck out of here.
Hobo #1: What?
Hobo #2: You are going to fuck with me and you are going to get yourself hurt. I mean it!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: bebe

Posted on June 20, 2021
Anger Management, Crazies, Dating, Hobos, Horny, Manhattan, Men, One Night Stand, Penn Station, Pick-up Lines, Psychology, Relationships, Train Station

A Really Horrible Person Wouldn’t Have Used the Condoms

Hipster #1: I can’t believe you went home with that fat NYU chick last night.
Hipster #2: Yeah, I was out‐of‐my‐mind drunk. But I totally vindicated myself immediately after.
Hipster #1: Yeah?
Hipster #2: We must have woken up her hot blond suitemate when she screamed out “Oh my God, fuck me with your giant cock!“
Hipster #1: And how do you know?
Hipster #2: Because afterward, she passed out, and I went out to her living room to have a smoke, and her roommate came out in her PJs to join me for a smoke. Then I banged her on the couch.
Hipster #1: That’s awesome.
Hipster #2: Yeah. The funniest part was, I snuck back into her room when she was passed out and stole some condoms from her drawer.
Hipster #1: You’re a horrible person.
Hipster #2: I know.

–L train

Overheard by: Slappy McGee

Posted on December 17, 2020
Hipsters, Hook Ups, On the Subway, One Night Stand

And Now He’s Got My Vote

Girl #1: So how did you meet him?
Girl #2: He just came up to me on the street and asked me my name… Then he asked me if I wanted to get a drink, so I took him to the bar everyone was at.
Girl #1: Then what happened?
Girl #2: Then we fucked.
Girl #1: What? Just like that?
Girl #2: Yeah, I can hardly remember, but we left the bar, grabbed a cab, went to my dorm and then we fucked.

–CVS, 9^th & 58^th

Posted on December 10, 2019
Default, Drinks, Friends, Girls, Grocery Stores, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, One Night Stand, Pick-up Lines, Questions

“And When You Give Them Your Car Keys, And Your ATM Card”

Buxom Blonde: One night stands can be really hot, it’s great for a night of fun.
Male Date: You know what’s even hotter? When you don’t know their name and you never talk to them again.
Blonde: Yeah, and when you give them $200 at the end of the night.
Male: Yeah, that’s really hot.

–Decibel Sake Bar

Overheard by: cara

Posted on October 9, 2019
Bars & Clubs, Bimbettes, Guys, Money & Class, One Night Stand, Prostitution

She Should Give Her Mouth a Rest…or Use It More

Chick #1: …so we fucked and then he didn’t call.
Chick #2: And you’re surprised? This is the third guy in 2 weeks who hasn’t called.
Chick #1: I know, but why don’t they ever call?
Chick #2: Probably because – don’t hate me for this, k? – but you’re kind of easy.

–Garden of Eden, 14^th Street

Posted on August 27, 2017
Delis, Girlfriends, One Night Stand, Promiscuity, Sex & Relationships, The Village

The Village Bicycle’s Wednesday One‐Liners

Girl on cell: So I asked my doorman if I brought anyone home with me last night and he said he didn’t know! I told him it’s his job to know!

–Outside 145^th subway station

Hipster girl: Santa is a man whore!

–45^th & 8^th

College girl: And then we’re having what I thought was a nice one night stand, and then, he’s all like “what are you doing?”

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: silvver

Indian girl: I need to up my sex number. I either wanna sleep with a professor or a celebrity. (long pause) Wait! Professors are like celebrities!

–72^nd and Amsterdam

Overheard by: Vincent

Teen girl to friend: … And then my mom said to me “don’t be a ho.”

–Union Square

Overheard by: Lotte

Girl: She is such a fuckin’ slut. (Pause, then indignantly) How you gonna sleep with someone for four dollars?

–Bergen and Smith

Posted on October 8, 2015
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bimbettes, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Default, Education, Girls, Hipsters, Holidays, Insults, Jobs & Careers, Money & Class, Native Americans, Offers and requests, On Cell, One Night Stand, Parents, Promiscuity, Prostitution, Questions, Sorority Girls, Street, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Teens, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Washington Square Park, Wishes & desires

How Many Sluts Does It Take to Screw In? Just This One

Chick #1: Would it be wrong to have a one‐night stand, just so the guy will change my lightbulb?
Chick #2: It’s only wrong if he turns out to be too short.

–13^th & University

Overheard by: djlindee

Posted on July 10, 2015
Girls, One Night Stand, The Village

It Was a “Five Finger Discount” in Every Sense Of the Word

Drunk girl: I’m totally into “Wham, bam, thank you mam.” People think it’s trashy but I just wanna get mine.
Less drunk girl: I like to have relationships, make them work for it. I mean, what do you get out of a one‐night‐stand?
Drunk girl: One time I stole the guy’s watch.

–LIRR

Posted on June 26, 2015
Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Girls, One Night Stand, Questions, Relationships, Thievery, Trains Not Subway, Weirdness

One Night Stand