Drunk girl: I love scrotum!
Guy: Dude, we should completely ask her to come home with us.
–10th & Broadway
Overheard by: danie
Drunk girl: I love scrotum!
Guy: Dude, we should completely ask her to come home with us.
–10th & Broadway
Overheard by: danie
Woman: …and he wanted to break up with me so badly, he was like,
“Here, I’ll buy you an apartment!”
–Central Park sailboat pond
Overheard by: Sarahvb
Teen chick: I wouldn’t want to get married because it takes so long to get a divorce!
–Rockefeller Park
Russian lady: Ya…my mother was lucky. Not many women divorce lawyers.
–6 train
Lady: Come on, since my fucking boyfriend is a fucking crack head, we are fucking gonna pick up some guys tonight.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Julia Wright
Girl: I’m getting kind of tired of him. He used to be the kind of guy you could go out with and never have to talk.
–6 train
Guy on cell: …so I can fuck her, but I can’t marry her. See she’s Orthodox, but not Orthodox enough.
–Duane Reade, 51st & 3rd
Overheard by: Aryeh Jasper
Chick on cell: Honey, your boyfriend isn’t a boyfriend. He’s, like, a boyfriend-substitute…He’s, like, the I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter of boyfriends.
–Times Square
Overheard by: djlindee
Woman: Every time I date Greek men I get fat…Every single time!
–South Cove, Battery Park City
Guy on cell: I know man, sometimes I wish you were her husband instead of me.
–Starbucks, Union Square West
Overheard by: alison
Chick on cell: …so I said, “Stop calling me. It was a one night stand.”
–F train
Black queer: So who is this guy, anyway? Has anybody even met this guy you say you’re dating? Or is he like that “Bob” guy you put in your car so you can drive in the H.O.V. lane?
–Times Square
Guy: She has…two one-eyed cats. She’s never getting engaged.
–Madison Square Park
Gen X Girl on cell: …yeah, totally. It’s like, last night, I had sex with this guy and the condom broke. And like I’m ovulating. And I like totally can’t remember this guy’s name. Whatever.
–M31 bus
Son: I’m really glad you’re drinking again, you know…just not so much.
–Mon Petit Cafe, UES
Drunk girl: I remember the bouncing, I remember the moaning, I just can’t remember the name.
–Cooper 35, Astor Place
Overheard by: dan
Gay man: I went there to get spiritual, and I came back all ‘Boys, boys, boys.’
–5th Ave & 11th St
Chick on cell: This is one of those moments when polyamory would really come in handy, huh?
–Harlem
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Girl talking to herself: I am not a ho — I took the lie detector test, and it told you I was not a ho so stop calling me that.
–1 train
Overheard by: will
Chick: She had, like, 20 brothers and sisters because her dad was Haitian and he just kept sleeping with people…
–Subway bar, 60th & Lex
Chick: This year I am going to try and not make out with both Samatha and her boyfriend.
–W 53rd between 9th and 10th Ave
Overheard by: Still Laughing
Girl: So I decided that from now on, I'm not kissing anyone on one night stands.
Queer (gasping): That's so Pretty Woman!
–A Train
Hobo #1: I love you.
Hobo #2: Get the fuck out of here.
Hobo #1: What?
Hobo #2: You are going to fuck with me and you are going to get yourself hurt. I mean it!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: bebe
Hipster #1: I can’t believe you went home with that fat NYU chick last night.
Hipster #2: Yeah, I was out-of-my-mind drunk. But I totally vindicated myself immediately after.
Hipster #1: Yeah?
Hipster #2: We must have woken up her hot blond suitemate when she screamed out “Oh my God, fuck me with your giant cock!”
Hipster #1: And how do you know?
Hipster #2: Because afterward, she passed out, and I went out to her living room to have a smoke, and her roommate came out in her PJs to join me for a smoke. Then I banged her on the couch.
Hipster #1: That’s awesome.
Hipster #2: Yeah. The funniest part was, I snuck back into her room when she was passed out and stole some condoms from her drawer.
Hipster #1: You’re a horrible person.
Hipster #2: I know.
–L train
Overheard by: Slappy McGee
Girl #1: So how did you meet him?
Girl #2: He just came up to me on the street and asked me my name… Then he asked me if I wanted to get a drink, so I took him to the bar everyone was at.
Girl #1: Then what happened?
Girl #2: Then we fucked.
Girl #1: What? Just like that?
Girl #2: Yeah, I can hardly remember, but we left the bar, grabbed a cab, went to my dorm and then we fucked.
–CVS, 9th & 58th
Buxom Blonde: One night stands can be really hot, it's great for a night of fun.
Male Date: You know what's even hotter? When you don't know their name and you never talk to them again.
Blonde: Yeah, and when you give them $200 at the end of the night.
Male: Yeah, that's really hot.
–Decibel Sake Bar
Overheard by: cara
