K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Conductor, leaning out window to couple making out: Get a room!

–Canal St station

Overheard by: simon

Eerily calm guy: You fucked me. You fucked me in Midtown.

–48th & 5th

Overheard by: Nick Draven

Hot dog vendor, about girl moaning on cell: They’re having sex on the corner, people! Don’t look!

–Main St & 38th Ave, Queens

Drunk girl to kissing friends: You know, we can, like, find a place for you to make out.

–Prince St

Sorostitute: I had sex right there.

–64th & 5th

Drunk girl: I remember the bouncing, I remember the moaning, I just can’t remember the name.

–Cooper 35, Astor Place

Overheard by: dan

Gay man: I went there to get spiritual, and I came back all ‘Boys, boys, boys.’

–5th Ave & 11th St

Chick on cell: This is one of those moments when polyamory would really come in handy, huh?

–Harlem

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Girl talking to herself: I am not a ho — I took the lie detector test, and it told you I was not a ho so stop calling me that.

–1 train

Overheard by: will

Chick: She had, like, 20 brothers and sisters because her dad was Haitian and he just kept sleeping with people…

–Subway bar, 60th & Lex

Chick: This year I am going to try and not make out with both Samatha and her boyfriend.

–W 53rd between 9th and 10th Ave

Overheard by: Still Laughing

College girl #1: …and this guy’s a really good kisser and they turn on the lights and it’s your dad!
College girl #2: Oh my god, I know! I hate it when that happens!

–5th Ave. & 13th St.

Overheard by: Dave Della Costa

Man in chair, reaching out to accept money: Okay, man…
Other man, handing him money: Damn, man! (looks at his hands) You need a pedicure! Remind me to hook you up!

–The Rides, Coney Island

Overheard by: cracking up

Guy: I really wanna kiss you right now.
Girl: So who does that make you: my uncle or my dad?

–Bar, Carroll Gardens

Hobo: Anyone have a $50 bill?…How ’bout you?
Chick: What?
Hobo: Are there any rich people on this train?
Chick: No.
Hobo: You like me? Wanna give me a kiss? 

–6 train

Overheard by: S.D. & S.H.

Teen girl to sailor in uniform: Can you do me a huge favor and let me kiss you?
Sailor: Man, you’re really twisting my arm huh?

–Top of Empire State Building

Drunk girl #1: Call me tomorrow morning and tell me how you feel!
Drunk girl #2: I’ll be just fine cuz I just made out with Travis.

–19th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: k

Chick #1: Did you make out with a hooker?
Dude: I didn’t *make out* with anyone!
Chick #2: Did you seventh‐grade kiss a hooker?
Chick #1: Did you seventh‐grade *think* about kissing a hooker?
Dude: I didn’t even know she was a hooker until twenty minutes into our conversation!

–F Train

Teenage girl #1: Then he was kissing my forehead a lot after we hooked up so I told everyone there he was gay.
Teenage girl #2: Yeah, that is really gay.

–Houston St station