Woman: His penis was out, and it was as big as a baseball bat, and it reached his mouth. And all the kids were saying, “What’s that?”.
–New York Aquarium
Woman: His penis was out, and it was as big as a baseball bat, and it reached his mouth. And all the kids were saying, “What’s that?”.
–New York Aquarium
Tourist girl #1: It’s like the Space Needle, only with wire.
Tourist girl #2: And red.
–Coney Island
Overheard by: Lindsey Moore
Girl #1: Yum. It tastes like rum!
Guy: It might be rum.
Girl #1: No. It doesn’t look like rum.
Guy: I know. I mean there might be rum in it.
Girl #1: Oh. But it doesn’t taste like alcohol. It just tastes like peanuts.
Girl #2: Huh? Like peanuts?
Girl #1: Yeah. Like coconuts.
–Coney Island
Man: What do you want to eat?
Woman: Fish and chips, and a Coke.
Man: OK, fish and chips, that’s all? You don’t want fries with that or nothin’?
–Nathan’s, Coney Island
Overheard by: Scott Slater
Alt girl: So his second cousin is also his dad. That’s fucking mashed up.
–Times Square
Teen girl: You sure it’s his, right? He didn’t take his cock out or nuthin’?
–Laundry room, 108th & 2nd
Overheard by: CK Allen
Chick: Yeah, so I’ve been making out with my stepcousin lately.
–Coney Island
Overheard by: Kam Truhn
Woman: I stopped smoking six months ago, and now I’m lubricating so much better. I’m always wet at the right time.
–Lexington & 55th Deli
Guy: Is it raining?
Girl: No.
Guy: Then why the fuck am I getting wet?
Girl: Because it’s drizzling.
–Coney Island
Overheard by: Gradie Smith
Guy #1: She says she usually needs to make out for like a half hour before she starts to get wet.
Guy #2: You should just use your spit.
–2nd Avenue station
Overheard by: J.
13-year-old girl #1: Oh my god, you totally weren't paying attention to my shoes!
13-year-old girl #2: It's because my cousin is not in town!
–Bus, Coney Island
Overheard by: Brainy
Man in chair, reaching out to accept money: Okay, man…
Other man, handing him money: Damn, man! (looks at his hands) You need a pedicure! Remind me to hook you up!
–The Rides, Coney Island
Overheard by: cracking up
Mother to screaming toddler: Stop it. This is not your day. This is my day. Don't ruin it.
–Gourmet Garage
Southern woman to son: The WWE pose, just like we practiced in the backyard now.
–NBC Studios
Overheard by: Tracy
Mother yelling at three little well-dressed girls: Do not open that bottle of glitter! Do not! If you know glitter… (holding her arms out making a rainbow sort of gesture) Shit flies!
–Central Park
Overheard by: chellie
Very young mother to four-year-old son: Stop that! If you don't start behavin' I'm gonna send you in for the new model!
–R Train
Overheard by: Kait
Ghetto mom to young son running his hand along outside window while walking: Don't do that! You gonna get germs! Yo' hand gonna fall off!
–45th b/w 3rd & Lexington
Overheard by: Lili Von Shtupp
Very serious mother: Well, Megatron could beat Optimus because he's stronger. But Optimus is smarter, so he can outsmart Megatron.
–East Village
Mom holding little boy's hand: Forget everything you've seen today.
–Mermaid Parade, Coney Island Boardwalk
Overheard by: Not forgetting ANYTHING we saw today
Guy: I mean, she can come with and dance on the table.
Girl: I wanna see the baby!
–Avenue U & Coney Island Ave
Overheard by: I wanna go where they're going.
