Southerners

Drunk guy: Where are you from, man?
Random guy: Arizona.
Drunk guy: Arizona… Arizona, Nevada?
Random guy: No… Arizona, Arizona.
Drunk guy: Oh, but… Nevada is a section of Arizona right?
Random guy: No. Nevada is Nevada.
Drunk guy: I’ve been to Wisconsin.

–E Train

Overheard by: Noble Robinette

Little boy: Are you from Florida?
Southern man: No, Tennessee, why?
Little boy: You sound like a cowgirl.
Southern man: I really don’t think Florida has any cowgirls.
Little boy: Well, you still sound like one.

–Nelson Ave & 168th St

Southern tourist in pink pants: I don’t see anybody else wearing pink pants around here!

–73rd & Broadway

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Girl on cell, wearing leggings and a t-shirt: Oh, shit, I forgot to put on pants again.

–Columbia University

Lady in corner stall: Damn, I done sweated through my pants!

–Restroom, 1 Liberty Plaza

Smug girl to gaggle: No, these are my period pants. My mom washed them for me!

–Columbia University

Overheard by: bih.

Thug: I’m the only playa in the hood with his pants on his waist!

–10th & Ave B

Overheard by: Kayla K

Conductor over intercom: Attention, all crew members! Be sure you have your pants! Hey, Larry, you got yo’ pants?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Geologist

Mother to screaming toddler: Stop it. This is not your day. This is my day. Don't ruin it.

–Gourmet Garage

Southern woman to son: The WWE pose, just like we practiced in the backyard now.

–NBC Studios

Overheard by: Tracy

Mother yelling at three little well-dressed girls: Do not open that bottle of glitter! Do not! If you know glitter… (holding her arms out making a rainbow sort of gesture) Shit flies!

–Central Park

Overheard by: chellie

Very young mother to four-year-old son: Stop that! If you don't start behavin' I'm gonna send you in for the new model!

–R Train

Overheard by: Kait

Ghetto mom to young son running his hand along outside window while walking: Don't do that! You gonna get germs! Yo' hand gonna fall off!

–45th b/w 3rd & Lexington

Overheard by: Lili Von Shtupp

Very serious mother: Well, Megatron could beat Optimus because he's stronger. But Optimus is smarter, so he can outsmart Megatron.

–East Village

Mom holding little boy's hand: Forget everything you've seen today.

–Mermaid Parade, Coney Island Boardwalk

Overheard by: Not forgetting ANYTHING we saw today

Southern tourist #1 standing under large Lion King sign: Is this Broadway?
Southern tourist #2: We should stop someone who’s not scary and ask.

–Times Square

Overheard by: lauren

Southern college girl #1: We’re just conversing over here.
Southern college girl #2: The word is ‘conversate.’ ‘Converse’ is a shoe!

–Uptown A train

Dog owner to another: Dogs are funny. They're like little retarded kids.

–Tompkins Square Park Dog Run

Guy on cell: She went from Debbie downer to Debbie Down Syndrome.

–62nd St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Timo Lipping

Dad: I thought she would like Carolina, so we took her to see four schools there. I asked her if she liked them and she said, "I liked the schools… But everyone there seemed slightly retarded."

–W 54th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Johnny V.

Southern woman who just ran NYC marathon to Southern friend: Well, we can't have a baby now because it would be retarded… because I'm 35, you know?

–Becco Restaurant, Theater District

Overheard by: mersayseh

Hot southern girl #1: So, before I came up here my mom is like, "Be very careful around those northern boys, they think all southern girls just love to cook and fuck."
Hot southern girl #2: Oh my gosh, are you serious? They think that? That’s so messed up!
Hot southern girl #1: I know!
Hot southern girl #2: But I really do love to cook… And fuck.
Hot southern girl #1: I know… Me too.

–Union Square Cafe

Overheard by: Moving South

Hipster on cell: Dude, yeah, coffee gives me the shits too; but I'd rather have the shits than no coffee.

–Dunkin' Donuts

Overheard by: Madalyn

Poet, selling self-published book on train: We're like Starbucks coffee and biscotti; you're tall and hot and I'm hard and nutty.

–Uptown 6 Train

Overheard by: Marc

Little girl to mother: It's like every single person in the whole wide world came to Starbucks and we were the veeeerrrrryyy last ones.

–Starbucks

Colonel Sanders-looking man, in strong Southern accent: I want somethin cold… Whadya git?

–Starbucks

Straight guy in hot pink underwear: Yeah, I've fallen asleep in deer stands, and all kinds of weird places.

–Gold's Gym, 54th St

Overheard by: Johnny V

Girl on cell: His hair is wiry and weird. He had a party and sold raffle tickets, the winner got to restyle his hair. He's weird.

–1 Train

Overheard by: whirlygirlie518

White teen girl to friends: No, no, no! I told you guys, if I marry a Japanese, then there's all that weird sex stuff. I'm marrying Korean. They're adorable, and don't have that weird communism thing the Chinese do.

–Chinatown

Girl from Nashville on cell: They serve like weird pasta here with weird vegetables and weird meat. My favorite meal here is breakfast. I am so ready to go home!

–LaGuardia Airport

Overheard by: D-Law