Take Me Out to the Bore Game

Snack guy: Peanuts! Get your peanuts here! Buy one, get the second for the same price!

–Yankee Stadium

Overheard by: HelloClairice

Suit #1: He basically crawled up my ass and started punching me from the inside.
Suit #2: Nice picture, dude. Christ.

–Yankee Stadium

Overheard by: Brett

Girl on cell: I’m here in Harlem right next to Yankee Stadium.

–4 train

Woman: It’s a good thing we got here early. I don’t want to miss the kickoff.

–Shea Stadium

Chick #1: Boo, you’re gonna miss!
Chick #2: Aren’t you cheering for the wrong team?
Chick #1: I wasn’t cheering, I was making an ominous prediction.

–Richmond County Ballpark

Overheard by: Becka Dash

Guy #1: I thought that girl was his daughter. He has to be in his 50s.
Guy #2: I know, it’s skeeving me right out.
Guy #1: What do you think? She’s 22 or 23?
Guy #2: Dude, she’s a hard 18 tops.

–Yankee Stadium

Overheard by: Todd Horan

Posted on April 10, 2026
Girls, Guys, Sports, Suits, Yankee Stadium

Wednesday One-liners Give You the First One for Free

Guy on cell: Dude, I can’t give you a bottle. And he don’t got none, either…dude, I don’t mean no offense, but you know you’re a junkie type, right?…yeah, I hear ya…Fine. Maybe for $20 I can find you something.

–86th between Lexington & 3rd

Lady: So is that why he brought you a Xanax and a sandwich?

–Ludlow & Delancey

Overheard by: Michi Hollydale

Businesslady: I was a meth addict. You know, methadone. I didn’t inject it, though.

–Starbucks, 35th & 8th

Overheard by: wit and whimsy

Girl on cell: So like I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I told my parents that I was on drugs…which, of course, nothing could be further from the truth…yeah, I can blame them for reacting that way!

–77th & Lex

Chick on cell: …I know. He’s so generous with prescriptions. And I keep telling him, “I’m a real pill popper!”

–52nd & Madison

Overheard by: Captain Obvious

Chick: If you can get the perfect balance between alcohol and cocaine, then you’ve really hit your peak.

–15th & 5th

Overheard by: Lucy

Woman: So I had to figure out which was cheaper: the drugs or the rehab.

–Kate’s Joint, Avenue B

Queer: God it’s so gross! Gays in there lifting and just sweating all their drugs out…I just don’t go to the gym on mondays; it smells like chemicals!

–15th & 7th

Girl on cell: Yeah, they all call her Vitamin H, can you believe that?…No, no, it’s alcohol that’s the gateway drug. You only want to do coke after you drink.

–2nd Avenue & 10th Street

Posted on December 18, 2025
All Wednesday One-Liners, Cocaine, Compliments, Drinking & Drunk People, Drugs, Food, Gripes, Lies, Medicine, Money & Class, Nicknames & name calling, Parents, Questions, Scents of the City, Sports, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

He’s a Referee, Not an Umpire

Dude: Do you have baseball cleats?
Store guy: What?
Dude: Baseball cleats.
Store guy: What are those?
Dude: Shoes that you play baseball in, they have spikes on the bottom…do you carry any?
Store guy: No, I don’t think so.

–Foot Locker, 34th & 6th

Overheard by: Adam Hill

Posted on October 23, 2025
Boys, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clerks, Shopping, Sports, Store

Wednesday One-liners Love Their Sports

Guy: I was never any good at sports…I’ve watched the Superbowl a few times.

–Flatiron office

Lady on phone: Yeah, they have seat fillers at the Oscars and other award shows, you didn’t know that? It’s so when they pan over the audience it doesn’t look like a Mets game.

–40th Street office

Overheard by: Clay Caviness

Guy: I’m not going to be the only guy at the hockey party holding an apple turnover.

–Broadway & Prince

Overheard by: Christopher Miner

Posted on September 1, 2025
All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Food, Football, Pop Culture, Sports, TV, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

Always Complaining About Wednesday One-liners

Lady: I don’t like to parallel park…it messes up my hair.

–61st & Madison

Guy: Seriously, you are being ridiculous. You need to calm the fuck down. You still have 2 more stops and what are your expectations with that outfit? Let me off.

–L train

Man on cell: I served lemonade for 6 hours! It wasn’t fucking bartending! It sucked!

–61st & 3rd

Chinese chick: Oh, I don’t watch baseball. I just recently found out what a home run is. I used to think they would, like, run home, and I was like, what the fuck is the point of that?

–B6 bus

Man on cell: Are you a fucking retard or do you just play one in real life?

–Penn Station

Girl: I don’t know why I pay for the internet. The only sites I ever use are Friendster, Craigslist and Overheard In New York and I’ll be honest, sometimes they just don’t do it for me.

–2 train

Punk chick: …hate it when my dirt washes off. It keeps me warm.

–St. Mark’s between 1st & A

Chick: You’re not the one who had to teach a fucking dance class from 9 to 5. I had to teach dance from 9 to 5. And I have to do it again tomorrow. I don’t wanna fucking dance anymore. I have tendonitis!

–12th & 3rd

Overheard by: Domi & Rachel

Posted on August 14, 2025
All Wednesday One-Liners, Cars and Driving, Chinese, Cleanliness, Dancing, Fashion, Food, Health and Hygiene, Internet, Jobs & Careers, On Cell, On the Bus, On the Subway, Overheard Overheard, Penn Station, Public Transportation, Punks, Retards & Handicaps, Sports, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side

The Bats Turn Them Corky

Caribbean guy: Hey, I’m looking for a Jason Ghi-ambi baseball bat.
Store guy: An autographed bat?
Caribbean guy: I’m not paying fifty dollars for no bat.
Store guy: What do you need the bat for?
Caribbean guy: I just really need to bash someone’s head in, you know what I’m saying?
Store guy: You don’t need a Jason Giambi bat for that. Any of these bats can be used for bashing someone in the head.

–Triangle Sports, Flatbush

Overheard by: Owen

Posted on July 25, 2025
Cashiers, Latinos, Money & Class, Sports, Store, Violence

Obviously Has Never Seen a CBS “Comedy”

Third baseman: What’s so funny?
Benched teammate: I’m high, retard. Everything’s fuckin’ funny.

–145th & Lenox Avenue softball field

Posted on June 30, 2025
Boys, Drugs, Manhattan, Men, Parks, Sports, Stoners, Straight Trippin', Washington Heights and Inwood, Weed

Maybe This is More of a Snopes.com Entry

Guy: Did you hear about the Hasidic Jew that fell off the upper deck at Yankee Stadium and landed on the field?
Girl: Uh, no.
Guy: Never mind. Maybe it’s just an urban legend.

–Ozone Park