Health and Hygiene

Pizza guy: No pizza for you?
FIT chick #1: No, I don’t eat. I’m anorexic.
FIT chick #2: Yeah, look what she’s wearing. That’s what happens when you don’t eat. You go fucking crazy.

–27th & 7th pizzeria

Queer #1: So is your physical therapist cute?
Queer #2: “Cute” as in “do I want to do him cute”? Yeah.
Queer #1: Well, that can be a great incentive to do well.

–NYSC locker room, 16th & 8th

Girl #1: I just got a membership at Carnegie Hall.
Girl #2: You should get a membership to the gym.
Girl #1: But this is like a workout…for my soul.

–Lexington & 53rd

Cop #1: What the fuck is that on your face?
Cop #2: It’s a big pimple.
Cop #1: It’s fucking gross, dude.

–33rd & 6th

Overheard by: Eric L.

Sales guy: I’m been feeling sick all day.
Sales gal: Is it something serious?
Sales guy: Nah, it’s not like I’m bleeding from the ass or anything.

–The Strand

Girl #1: My cat drinks out of my water glass all the time.
Girl #2: So?
Girl #1: I can’t drink it after that. I mean, she licks her own ass.

–Central Park

Girl: I like dogs!
Guy: Yeah, right.
Girl: Actually I’m violently allergic to them.

–Houston & Eldridge

Crazy Hasid: Who are the three greatest Jewish lawyers of all time? Roy Cohen, Roy Cohen, Roy Cohen, Johnny Cochran, Alan Dershowitz. Who are the three greatest doctors of all time? Dr. Dolittle, Dr. Dolittle, Dr. Dolittle, Alan Dershowitz.

–F train

Overheard by: bluesdog

Jewess on cell: You know, I love Great Neck, but I don’t know. I have to consider it. I’m not super Jewish and he’s not super Jewish. And you know how Jews are. They can be nice to non-Jews, but they can be caustic to other Jews.

–Union Square

Lady: I just don’t get smoking, or people who smoke…smoking and bacon; I don’t get it.

–UWS elevator

Overheard by: Susan Volchok

Girl #1: Damn, what’s this fucking smell?
Girl #2: It’s your mouth next to your nose.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Leticia

Guy #1: See ya, Scotty!
Guy #2: Wasn’t Scott supposed to be dying or something?
Guy #1: Well he still is, just a little slower now than before. He’s the only guy I know who can get a bacterial infection at the dentist.

–Madison Square Park