Girl #1: So how was France?
Girl #2: Pretty good, although we didn’t go out much. We only went to a restaurant like once.
Girl #1: That’s good.
Girl #2: Yeah, we hardly gave them any opportunities to be rude to us.
–Hunter North Building elevator, East 69th Street
Overheard by: Babs Monroe
Guy: Can you get your backpack out of my back?
Boy: There’s nowhere to put it.
Guy: Why don’t you put it in your ass?
–M86 bus
Condutor: If you would like to operate the doors, please take the test to become a conductor. In the meantime, please release the doors, because there are a lot of people on this train who would like to get to work on time.
–A train
Overheard by: Aryn M
Chick #1: Yeah, I’m really getting sick of our teacher. I mean, and maybe I shouldn’t say this, but I don’t care that she was raped by her
father as a child.
Chick #2: I know, that’s really none of our business. I don’t need to know that.
–168th Street station
Overheard by: bouch
Hobo #1: Do you know what time is it?
Hobo #2: Yeah I know.
Hobo #1: Thanks.
–2 train
Overheard by: Andrew A
White girl: I’m sorry, I don’t have any money.
Black guy: I didn’t ask you for nuthin’, lady!
–57th & Lexington
Woman: Excuse me, I left my passport in the ladies’ room.
Stewardess guy: I’m sorry, madam, you’ll have to wait until we make our way down the aisle.
Woman: But I need to get my passport.
Stewardess guy: I understand that, but we cannot move this cart back far enough. We should be through in a few minutes.
Woman: But it’s in the bathroom! What if someone takes it?
Stewardess guy: If it’s not in the bathroom when you get there, let one of us know and we’ll make an announcement.
Woman: No, I can’t wait for that to happen, I have to go and get my passport now.
Stewardess guy: I understand, but as I’ve explained to you before, you must wait. Please return to your seat.
Woman: Oh, you’re very nice. You know, in the United States, people don’t behave like that.
Stewardess guy: In the Netherlands people don’t dress like that.
–KLM flight to JFK
Man: Oh, man! Where have you been all my life?…Can I borrow your lighter?
Woman: Oh, thank goodness. I was like, “I’m flattered, but gay.”
–57th & 5th
Overheard by: (The) Heather Red
Hobo: Excuse me miss, but may I have some pussy?
Woman: Excuse me?
Hobo: Can I have some pussy?
Woman: I don’t know, I suggest that you call your mother.
–Thompson & Spring
Girl: Stop staring, pervert.
Guy: You ain’t all that hot.
Girl: I am not a hamburger! You can’t eat me!
–3 train
Overheard by: Jose
