Who’s Doomed to Wander Dark Subway Tunnels for All Eternity

Conductor: This is the shuttle to Times Square. This is not an express train. You are on the shuttle to Times Square, not an express train. Again, this is the shuttle to Times Square… Not an express train. Shuttle to Times Square…
Random thug: Shut the fuck up!
Conductor: … Not the express train. And for the lovely person who just told me to shut up, I’m in the car right next to you. Merry Christmas to all.
[Short pause.]Conductor: Except to the kid who told me to shut up.

–Shuttle to Times Square

Overheard by: Suburban Liz

Posted on April 20, 2023
Compare/Contrast, Default, Etiquette, Holidays, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Subway conductors, Thugs

I’m Just Seeing How Many Times I Can Say “Pussylips” in One Day

Roommate #1: Y’all need to cover up ’cause I can see your pussylips and that’s just not appropriate.
Roommate #2: Really?
Roommate #1: No.

–Pratt Institute

Posted on March 15, 2023
Advice, College, Etiquette, Sorority Girls, Vagina, Yeaaahhh College!

Some things just can’t be taught in one sentence

Yuppie: …and I spent Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday teaching them the Golden Rule.

–Into cell phone, Lexington & 53^rd

Posted on February 26, 2023
Etiquette, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, Yuppies

Ahem –That’s “Womyn”

Gangsta #1: … And then these bitches…
Gangsta #2: Wo‐men. Nigga, they’re women!

–26^th & 8^th

Posted on December 29, 2022
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Default, Etiquette, Friends, Gangstas, Gender issues, Insults, Words

It’s 157, Your Weight in Pounds

D’Agostino check‐out counter girl, loudly into the store intercom: Jason, what’s your password?

–D’Agostino, Greenwich & Barrow

Posted on December 17, 2022
Cashiers, Etiquette, West Village

Heather Duke Redux

Drunk girl #1 coughs.
Drunk girl #2: If you vomit, I swear to God this friendship is over.

–Bleecker St

Overheard by: kellianne

Posted on October 31, 2022
College, Drinking & Drunk People, Etiquette, Friendship, Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, Poop, The Village

You’re Welcome, Grasshopper

Yuppie woman, bumping into a man: Sorry.
Man: Don’t say sorry. This is New York. Nobody says sorry.
Woman: What do you want me to say? Fuck you??
Man: That’s better. This is New York. Who says sorry?
Woman: Fuck you.

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: Young professional’s friend

Posted on September 29, 2022
Etiquette, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Yuppies

What? I Don’t Want the Dog to Catch On

Stumbling drunk woman, loudly: Do you have any b‑l‐o‑w?!
Date: Great. Real subtle!

–E 11^th St

Overheard by: filigreed

Posted on June 14, 2022
Cocaine, Couples, Default, Drunks, Etiquette, Offers and requests, Questions, Union Square and East Village, Women

‘Cause If It Is, I’ve Got Plans!

College intern hitting friend with magic wand: Naked Bitch with big titties.
Little kid: Is that a real magic wand?!

–FAO Schwartz

Posted on April 4, 2022
Default, Etiquette, Kids, Magic, Questions, Store, Upper East Side, Yeaaahhh College!

Sweet or Salty?

Queer #1: I sucked you off and swallowed your cum!
Queer #2: Shh, not now, someone will hear.
Queer #1: No! No one is listening!
Girl next to them: Actually, I’m listening.

–3 Train

Overheard by: Carly

Posted on March 28, 2022
BJs, Compare/Contrast, Cum, Default, Etiquette, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, On the Subway, Queer guys

Etiquette