He’s Been Disgruntled Ever Since Discovering I’m a Bottom.

Fat guy: Sorry I’m late. Mr. Sphincter isn’t being very co-operative today.

Nova Cafe
Dunedin
New Zealand

Posted on April 4, 2019
Bars & Clubs, Body parts, Etiquette, Euphemisms, Fat people, Guys, Health & Hygiene, New Zealand, Pee, Weirdness

And Don’t Even Get Me Started on This Banana Lamp

[Two 18-year-old girls are browsing a table full of random items for sale at a Christian thrift store at a local church.]Girl #1: This candle holder would probably feel great inside my pussy.
Girl #2, barely startled: Haha. Yeah.
Girl #1: Ooh, this shirt is nice!

Gothenburg
Sweden

Overheard by: Donny Boots

Posted on March 22, 2019
Clothes, Etiquette, Girls, Masturbation, Sensory experiences, Stores, Sweden, Toys, Vagina

Always a Burning Question

Sensitive soul: Why would I fuck you if you have a rash?

Dining Hall, Stony Brook University
Stony Brook, New York

Overheard by: Slightly amused but scared

Posted on January 18, 2019
Colleges & Universities, Default, Etiquette, New York, Questions, Sex, STDs, Students, Threats

It's the Code Of the West

Teen girl to teen friends in checkout line bumping into each other: Stop it, you guys, this isn't the Dollar Store, we're in Wal-Mart, you gotta act classy!

Wal-Mart
Colorado Springs, Colorado

Overheard by: Shawna

Posted on January 1, 2019
Advice, Colorado, Etiquette, Shopping, Teens

Yeah, We Read the Admissions Brochure

College guy from dorm room window to tour group: If your daughters are virgins they won't be for long!

Miami University
Oxford, Ohio

Overheard by: sarah

Posted on December 14, 2018
Colleges & Universities, Default, Etiquette, Family ties, Guys, Ohio, Virginity

The Difference between Boys and Girls

Guy to girlfriend: My dick is aching for your vagina.
Girl: I missed you too.

Barista cafe
Mumbai
India

Overheard by: mehr

Posted on August 30, 2018
Bars & Clubs, Compliments, Default, Etiquette, Girls, Guys, India, Penis, Relationships, Sex, Vagina, Wishes, Words

As Long As You Don’t Ew My Goo

Chick #1, about grape Vitamin Water: Ewww! You’re actually going to drink pink water?
Chick #2: Hey, man, don’t yuck my yum!

Beat Book Store
Boulder, Colorado

Overheard by: tell it like it is

Posted on August 4, 2018
Chicks, Colorado, Etiquette

That Damn Third Commandment Always Trips Me Up

Good Catholic schoolboy to friend who just recited a really long prayer: Good job! You only missed one word. This one can be really hard and you almost got it perfect.
Bad Catholic schoolboy: God dammit! Jesus Christ, I'm never gonna get this bullshit memorized!

Goretti-Neumann High
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: lora

Posted on June 19, 2018
Compare and contrast, Compliments, Default, Education, Etiquette, Friends, Guys, Insults, Pennsylvania, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Teens, Words

If You Don’t, Try the Cafeteria’s Amphetameatloaf

History teacher (hanging up posters with spray adhesive): If ya’ll get high from this, you’re welcome.

High School
Columbia, South Carolina

Overheard by: thank you!

Posted on June 7, 2018
Default, Drugs, Education, Etiquette, School [Elem., Middle, & High], South Carolina, Teachers

We Imagine Futurama‘s Professor Farnsworth in This Role

Student: Hi professor, we need some help with our regressions.
Professor, cutting her off: Enough about you. I got a new dog yesterday, look I have a picture!
Student: Uhh… He’s cute?

Wellesley, Massachusetts

Posted on May 31, 2018
Animals, Default, Education, Etiquette, Massachusetts, Students, Teachers

Etiquette