Etiquette

A+

Male art student in response to female art student’s sculpture: It’s really kind of mortifyingly vaginal.

Allegheny College
Meadville Pennsylvania

Girl: Hey, Lamar!
Guy: Oh, hey!
Girl: How you been? You been sick?
Guy: Nah… healthy.
Girl: Oh… see ya!

Bowling Green State University
Bowling Green, Ohio

Overheard by: Alex

Female flight attendant (managing to bump beverage cart into a seat): Whoops, sorry! Woman driver!

Flight over Honolulu, Hawaii

Overheard by: Gaby Young

Well-dressed man to female companion, in crowded tasting room: Did you remember the dildo?
Elegant lady companion: Yes, I brought both of them.

Napa Valley wine Auction
St. Helena, California

Drunk guy to two girls: No, really! My ultimate fantasy is to have sex with a ridiculously hot girl while you two are on the futon eating cheetos!

Aburn University
Auburn, Alabama

Crazy homeless lady to well-dressed businessman: Look at you with the coffee, you faggot, you just love dick in your ass!

Starbucks
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: trying to avoid her wrath

Boy: I believe in waiting until marriage.
Girl: That’s funny, cause I believe in you fucking my brains out.

Bryn Mawr College
Pennsylvania

Bimbette on phone, nonchalantly: So you lost your baby?

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Man: Excuse me, but your skirt is caught on your bag and it's pulling your skirt all the way up.
Young woman (annoyed): Excuse me! Can't you see I'm on the fucking phone?!
Man: Fine then–walk around with your ass hanging out–see if I care.
Young woman (into her phone): Oh my god! Some guy just totally came up and told me that my ass is showing! (walks off with skirt still showing)

Airport
Sydney
Australia

Student: She thinks she’s so good. She was probably the only soprano in her high school, so she was automatically the best. Or maybe she went to a school for like, people with severe burns. She was the best in the burn victim ward.

Westminster Choir College
Princeton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Gaby Young