Old lady #1: Here she comes now.
Old lady #2: I’ll be dead by the time she gets here.
Old lady #3: She’s not moving too fast.
Their friend arrives.
Old lady #1: Aren’t you dead yet?
–5th Ave. & 9th St.
Old lady #1: Here she comes now.
Old lady #2: I’ll be dead by the time she gets here.
Old lady #3: She’s not moving too fast.
Their friend arrives.
Old lady #1: Aren’t you dead yet?
–5th Ave. & 9th St.
Girl: One of my favorite stories is about my dead friend Kim.
Guy: Oh, I love the dead Kim stories.
–Dos Cominos, Park Ave South
Overheard by: Scott
Chick: He keeps checking himself into rehab, but then he gets out and…well, you know all his friends are crackheads.
Guy: That’s pretty funny, actually.
Chick: Yeah, it is!
–N train
Teen guy #1: My dad’s gonna get me fucking Yankees tickets this year!Yankees tickets!
Teen guy #2: You said that last year, and it never happened.
Teen guy #1: Uh, Earth to moron, last year was different. I lied to you last year.
Teen guy #1: You are so fucking Zoolander, man.
–1 train
HS girl: Now he’s in college, so he has his own friends.
HS guy: He’s at Sarah Lawrence.
HS girl: There are lots of people like him there.
–4 train
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Chick on cell: You know Karen, she’s my best friend…well, not my best friend, my Taiwanese best friend…
–Lorimer Street, Williamsburg
Girl #1: Don’t you like anything about yourself?
Girl #2: I like my abs.
Girl #1: Really?
Girl #2: I guess not.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Alexis Gratt
Young girl to friend, after cutting in front of her: Ladies first!
Friend: You ain't no lady, you stupid fucking bitch!
Young girl: See, point proven!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: rick
College girl #1: I don't want a flesh-eating disease.
College girl #2: Me either.
College girl #3: Yeah, me either.
College girl #1: Wow, we have so much in common! No wonder we're friends.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Sromeo
Skater: Come on. Hang out.
Murray Hill-looking PR-type chick: Fuck you! You're a fag! You'd rather hang with your loser friends in this fucking rat hole? I would have fucked you, if you just came to Manhattan but…
Skater: C'mon hang. It'll be cool.
Murray Hill-looking PR-type chick: Oh, fuck this. I'm taking this cab. Have fun sucking your buddy's cock, asshole!
Skater, after watching her leave: Fucking bitch! (pauses, then asks perfect stranger) Hey, can I buy a cigarette from you?
–12th St & Bedford
