Lower Manhattan

Chick #1: I mean, you are like totally naked on a table from the waist down.
Chick #2: Were you totally embarrassed?
Chick #1: Well, it hurts so fucking much that you are like in pain shock, and you can’t even think about whether you are embarrassed or not.
Chick #2: Do you, like, talk to the woman?
Chick #1: What the fuck are you supposed to say? “How do you like my vagina?” And after she rips, she quickly presses down on my vag with her hand, as if that dulls the pain.
Chick #2: Oh, god.
Chick #1: Then she rubs you down in calamine lotion.

–Burrito Box, 9th Avenue

Little boy: Hey, ma! Look how much of this banana I can stick in my mouth!

–Broadway & Canal

Overheard by: A-Rod

College girl: Is it possible to bring back the dead?
Professor guy: Well, for now, scientists are working on making a
single cell, which is creating life. That’s not the same as bringing
back the dead. That poses the “life after death” question.
College girl: I think about zombies all of the time.
Professor guy: All of the time?
College girl: Yeah, I’m always thinking about zombies.
Professor guy: What do your parents think?

–Meyer Hall, Washington Place

Overheard by: Steven Greenbaum

White guy: God! This is taking forever!
Black guy: Hey man, you don’t like it then go back to Omaha or Ohio or whatever square state you’re from.
White guy: But I’m from Brooklyn.
Black guy: Then act like it!

–Whitehall SI Ferry terminal

Black guy #1: I got all depressed after I lost my hair.
Black guy #2: You what?
Black guy #1: My hair; I got depressed when I lost it.
Black guy #2: I didn’t know you had a ferret!
Black guy #1: Shit yeah, but halfway through I decided to shave it.
Black guy #2: You shaved a fucking ferret? What the hell you do that for, nigga?
Black guy #1: I just hated losing it, so I shaved it.
Black guy #2: Man, I’m fucked up.
Black guy #1: Me too.

–Union Square Regal Cinemas men’s room

2 Black teens sit at a table together, comparing the shopping they’ve just done. One gets up to ask for a cigarette from a middle-aged Asian dude sitting nearby. The Asian dude ignores the teen.

Black teen #1: Man, I hate Chinese people.
Black teen #2: Yo son, watch what you’re saying. Look around you.
Black teen #1: I don’t give a shit, man! I fucking hate
Chinese people.
Black teen #2: Besides, I’m pretty sure they’re Korean.

–Greenstreets, 32nd & Broadway

Overheard by: enkie

Chick: I think the difference between a blog and a website is that a blog is something you can set up without doing any of that website shit.

—Black Table party, Slainte, The Bowery

Hippie boy: What are we going to talk about? He’s a hairdresser and I’m a teenager!
Mom: Date him, I guess.

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: Gretchen

Guy: Jonny sent me on an errand. I feel like a mule. I’m like a donkey to him!

—NY2LON show, Bowery Ballroom

Little kid: Mama, Mama! Where are all those bunnies we saw last night? Where are those bunnies? We have to find the bunnies again, Mama!
Lady: Aww! Where were the bunnies you saw, Cole?
Mother: Actually Cole, those were rats.

–Fulton Street

Overheard by: Jess Kimball