American girl: Do you know who I think wants my brother’s friends?
Polish girl: Who is a twat?
American girl: No. Do you know who wants my brother’s friends?
Polish girl: Oh. Great.
–B61 bus
American girl: Do you know who I think wants my brother’s friends?
Polish girl: Who is a twat?
American girl: No. Do you know who wants my brother’s friends?
Polish girl: Oh. Great.
–B61 bus
Teen girl #1: What’s the body of water we’re crossing?
Teen girl #2: I think it’s the Long Island Sound.
–X1 bus, Verrazano Bridge
Homeboy #1: Yeah, ever since he got that raise, he been livin’ all grand and shit.
Homeboy #2: Oh yeah?
Homeboy #1: Yeah, yo! Nigga got 3-ply toilet paper an’ shit!
–Q46 bus
Overheard by: Joyce Shen
A crazy man takes out a whole frozen fish from his bag and bangs it on the side of the bus repeatedly.
Crazy man #2: You should pretend that’s the mayor.
–M23 bus
Overheard by: Erika Strum
Boy: Hey Grandma, do you have a map?
Grandma: No, not on me. A map of what?
Boy: Your eyes.
Grandma: My eyes? Why do you want a map of my eyes?
Boy: ’cause I keep getting lost in them.
–M23 bus
Overheard by: jessie
Teen boy #1: He has 3 taps in his shower. One cold water, another hot, and one for mustard.
Teen boy #2: I like mustard.
Teen boy #1: In the shower?
–Q43 bus
Overheard by: Sucka MC
Boy #1: Ha, ha, ha, ha! What did the shoe say to the foot? How’s it footin’?
Boy #2: Ha, ha, ha, ha! What did the bus say to the street? How’s it streetin’?
Boy #1: Ha, ha, ha, ha! What did the airplane say to the building?
Boy #2: Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Boy #1: Hello, I’m gonna crash into you now.
–M60 bus
Overheard by: marisa
Guy #1: Yeah man, she was all over me at that bar!
Guy #2: For real? Why?
Guy #1: She was either skanked out on E or freaked out on skank.
–B61 bus
Overheard by: mfs
Old lady #1: Ugh, look at that! She’s driving an ambulance and she’s on the phone!
Old lady #2: Maybe she’s calling a patient.
–M6 bus
Overheard by: feitclub
Drunk guy: Gosh, that is the biggest slug I have ever seen in my life!
Sober girl: Everything always has to be the Discovery Channel with you, Eric!
–Bayside LIRR platform
Overheard by: kate garaufis
