Girl, 4: I have needs, too.
Boy, 4: Your needs? Who cares about your needs? What about my needs?
–M16 bus
Overheard by: Jenny Piston
Girl, 4: I have needs, too.
Boy, 4: Your needs? Who cares about your needs? What about my needs?
–M16 bus
Overheard by: Jenny Piston
Guy on cell: …no, not her. A new chick…Yeah, man, yeah. You know me; I’m anally ambitious. I’m gonna be in her like a gerbil.
–M72 bus
Overheard by: Alexandra
Man #1: So did you get the golden ticket?
Man #2: The what?
Man #1: The golden ticket to the chocolate factory, did you get it?
Man #2: What?
Man #1: Anal! Did you hit her up the butt?
Man #2: Oh! Ha ha…yeah, finally.
–3 Train
Overheard by: Marco Formosa
Gen X Girl on cell: …yeah, totally. It’s like, last night, I had sex with this guy and the condom broke. And like I’m ovulating. And I like totally can’t remember this guy’s name. Whatever.
–M31 bus
Son: I’m really glad you’re drinking again, you know…just not so much.
–Mon Petit Cafe, UES
Fat Chick: Thank God. Cheryl! It’s the Golden Arches!
–Bus Entering Port Authority
Boy, 7: Who’s that guy again?
Mom: Which one?
Boy, 7: Subway.
Mother: Bernard Goetz.
–B48 bus
13-year-old girl #1: Oh my god, you totally weren't paying attention to my shoes!
13-year-old girl #2: It's because my cousin is not in town!
–Bus, Coney Island
Overheard by: Brainy
Guy, about colleague’s showering habits: Yea, you know, I have an eye for that kinda stuff. Need to make sure people stay clean ‘n fresh ’round me. Know what I’m sayin’?
Girl: Are you sure? Because–
Guy: –Nah, yo. He must shower early in the morning or late at night. Or else somewhere in between.
–On the bus
Overheard by: Nabz
Gangsta Chick: Oh my god, guys, look at him!
Guy #1: What?
Guy #2: What's he doing with your mirror?
Stoned Guy: I'm on tv! (manic laugh)
–B64 Bus
Overheard by: Ben
Old junkie guy #1: …So the bitch is fucking bitching about wearin’ a condom. She won’t let me bust my nut in her ’til I slap one on. So I do! And the bitch gives me crabs!
Old junkie guy #2: What a ho.
–Bx15 bus
Queer to hipster chick: Honey, you’re not a hipster! … I’m sorry I said that.
–New School University
Overheard by: smoon
Hobo: Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I’m sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you could help me out. If you could give me just one penny, I’d really appreciate it. [Yuppie woman hands him a quarter.] I asked for one penny. You gave me 24 cents too much [hands the quarter back and walks away].
–Brooklyn-bound F train
Conservatively-dressed lady: I’m so sorry! My birth canal was showing!
–Atlantic Ave & Clinton St
Overheard by: amalthya & schizo
Dude on cell: I didn’t know you wanted to become priest… What?! You have to go through all that shit just to be a deacon?! My god! … Sorry man, I didn’t mean it like that…
–Union Square
Man on cell: I’m sorry, but I’m in New Jersey right now… When? Okay, Monday night… Of course I’ll be there, you have my word.
–M14 bus, Ave A
Lady suit: Now I am totally sorry I stalked you — it was so not worth the effort.
–47-50 Rockefeller Center train station
Overheard by: SandmanEsq
