Black woman, to white kid flanked by two pretty girls: Hey, mista’! Ya got some change?
Same black woman, to the two girls: Don’t go givin’ away pussy fo’ free!
–DeKalb Station
Overheard by: BagelOfTheDamned
Black woman, to white kid flanked by two pretty girls: Hey, mista’! Ya got some change?
Same black woman, to the two girls: Don’t go givin’ away pussy fo’ free!
–DeKalb Station
Overheard by: BagelOfTheDamned
A hobo sits begging with outstretched hands. Another hobo walks by and comments: Aw man, you ain’t even got a cup!
–Soho
Girl in line: Oh, you like cats?
Guy in line: Well, I used to work with tigers.
–Williamsburg bodega
Hobo: Damn, that nigga be happier than a faggot in a bag of dick.
–125th & Lexington
Drunk hobo, singing: Put a little money in the hat!
Six‐year‐old boy to mom: Don’t hats come with a bunny?
Mom: He asked for money, not a bunny. He’s a panhandler, not a magician.
–Canal St station
Overheard by: Thumper
Little girl to father, about pedestrian sign: But I don’t want to be a pedestrian! I want to be famous!
–17th & Irving
(pedestrians are crossing when they aren’t supposed to. One almost gets hit by a taxi)
Female traffic cop to taxi driver: Next time, just go ahead and run them over.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: momes
Homeless man directing traffic in middle of street: I killed 20,000 people, I ain’t afraid of no car! I killed 20,000 people, I ain’t afraid of no car!
–Jerry Orbach St
Gangster walking in front of Range Rover: Fuck it, if I’ma getting hit by a car, I’ma getting hit by a nice car.
–Broadway & Houston
Tourist driving car: I don’t give a fuck if you own the world! I’m running your ass over!
–Financial District
Overheard by: lex
Hobo: Any change? Anything you got to give?
Suit: I wish I had something to give, but pretty soon, I’m going to be like you.
Hobo: My man, you cannot be this awesome.
–Bleecker & Lafayette
Queer to hipster chick: Honey, you’re not a hipster! … I’m sorry I said that.
–New School University
Overheard by: smoon
Hobo: Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I’m sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you could help me out. If you could give me just one penny, I’d really appreciate it. [Yuppie woman hands him a quarter.] I asked for one penny. You gave me 24 cents too much [hands the quarter back and walks away].
–Brooklyn‐bound F train
Conservatively‐dressed lady: I’m so sorry! My birth canal was showing!
–Atlantic Ave & Clinton St
Overheard by: amalthya & schizo
Dude on cell: I didn’t know you wanted to become priest… What?! You have to go through all that shit just to be a deacon?! My god! … Sorry man, I didn’t mean it like that…
–Union Square
Man on cell: I’m sorry, but I’m in New Jersey right now… When? Okay, Monday night… Of course I’ll be there, you have my word.
–M14 bus, Ave A
Lady suit: Now I am totally sorry I stalked you — it was so not worth the effort.
−−47−50 Rockefeller Center train station
Overheard by: SandmanEsq
20‐something guy to five‐year‐old boy: No, Wolverine and Barack Obama are not the same person.
–Hudson Park Soccer Pitch
Overheard by: Kelli Jo
Swag guy: Get your Obama condoms, put it on when times get hard.
–7th Ave & 47th St
Overheard by: Oh no he didn’t.…
Hobo on train: Look at these two girls! If we get married we can make another Obama!
–4 Train
Cute boy: Captain Kirk is the Bush to Picard’s Obama.
–Kent Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Trekkie
Diner to companion: Since Obama’s been President, North Korea has fired like two missiles. They’re testing his foreign policy, uh, you know, they’re testing his gallstones.
–Teddy’s Restaurant, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ken Yapelli
Sock street vendor to passersby: Socks! One dollar, one dollar! One dollar!
(nobody pays attention) Socks! One dollar! Obama! One dollar! Obama! (a few pedestrians stop to browse through his socks)
–New Chinatown, Flushing, Queens
Hobo: Listen, man, I’m homeless. Now, I’m not askin’ for money or nothin’, but…
Extremely well‐dressed young man: Hey, me too!
Hobo: What?
Extremely well‐dressed young man: Yep! Just moved here from Boston, couch surfing in Tribeca! I feel ya, buddy. God bless!
–42nd & 8th
Hobo #1: You got more teeth than me.
Hobo #2: Yeah, I got six, but three of them are broken.
Hobo #1: You got six and a half.
–6 train
Overheard by: jt castleton
