PR girl #1: I love your outfit today!
PR girl #2: You know, I was walking down the street, and this homeless man in a box told me that “Purple is the color of royalty.”
PR girl #1: Don’t joke about that. I could be joining him, if my apartment doesn’t come through.
PR girl #2: At least he lives in Manhattan.
–Office, 53rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Roger Resnicoff
Hobo: Hey dude, got a drink?
Guy: No, man. If I gave you a drink I’d be enabling you. You know what that is? I’ll be helping you by not getting you a drink.
Hobo: You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.
–St. Marks & 1st
Overheard by: Jasmine Moy
Hobo #1: But why would you want to go into space for a million dollars? Seems like a waste.
Hobo #2: Because they haven’t come out with hovertrains yet!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Kevin Cox
Hobo: Oh, lady got some nice threads. Those be Gucci or Calvin Klein or some shit like that?
Preggers: No sir, these threads be maternity.
–R train
Hobo: Do you have the time?
Guy: Quarter past seven.
Hobo: Do you think we’ll make it?
Guy: To where?
Hobo: To wherever we’re going.
Guy: Yes.
–D train
Overheard by: Dan Cunningham
White lady: As a black man, how do you feel about Al Sharpton?…Because I know how I feel about him, but I’m not black.
–Office, Park Avenue
Overheard by: Peasant
Hobo: …Lick Al Sharpton’s balls! Suck out his asshole! You’re Democrats! It’s your job!
–18th & 7th
Overheard by: A & J
A hobo has a cardboard sign that says “Ninjas killed parents, need money for Kugn [sic] Fu lessons.”
A cop comes up, and the hobo says: I don’t know why. I’ve already had five police come by and bother me today.
–14th & 5th
Overheard by: Casey
(cf. This guy.)
Hobo: You man, got a dollar?
Suit: Yeah, got change for a hundred?
–Water & Wall
Chick #1: Hoboken just sounds dirty to me.
Chick #2: Why? Because like, “hobos”?
Chick #1: Yeah.
Chick #2: Well, it’s uplifting. Like, “hobos can!” get their lives together. It’s not called “hobo can’t.”
–9th Street PATH station
Drunk girl: I can’t believe I have to take this train to Hoboken! This is horrible! Thank God it’s just for tonight, I can’t imagine doing this every day! This is the worst!
Guy: Where in the city do you live?
Drunk girl: I live in Rutherford.
–PATH train
Overheard by: kt
Hobo: Hey, are you trying to get laid today?
Chick: No, not today.
Hobo: Well give me your number.
–Union Square
