Hobo: Hi, My name is Sonny Page, I’m homeless and I’m hungry. If you don’t have it I understand ’cause I don’t have it. But if you could spare some money, food, a sandwich, I would really appreciate it.
Guy: Aw. Fuck, didn’t I give you change this morning? You’re still hungry?
–F train
Guy #1: So I’m trying to set Anthony up with this girl.
Guy #2: Wait a minute, I thought Anthony was gay.
Guy #1: Everybody does, but he’s not. He just has a slight lisp.
–Pazza Note, 56th & 6th
Overheard by: El Cubano
Hobo: Of course Bloomberg is fucking gay. All the gays are Republican.
–3rd Avenue & 11th Street
Overheard by: Jim Ed Tabors
Hobo: Man invented the condom so that the woman would stop trying to steal his DNA.
–F train
Overheard by: Caroline Duncan
Hobo: Anyone got a dollar, anyone got a dollar? Anyone got a dollar, anyone got a dollar?
Lady: Here, take $5. Now get off the train. You givin’ us black people a bad name.
–D train
Hobo: You got some nice skin.
Girl: Thanks.
Hobo: So you must masturbate yourself like all the time then, huh?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: still laughing
Guy #1: I found my old Nintendo yesterday
Guy #2: Yo, remember Game Genie and shit?
Hobo: I had a genie once.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Creighton
Girl: Oh my god, what is that smell?
Boy: Yeah, what is that?
Hobo fort: It’s my big fat cock!
–57th & 6th
Guy #1: Excuse me, I’m sorry to interrupt but can I ask you for a favor?
guy #2: Uh, sure.
Guy #1: I’m trying to raise $2 to buy a forty, can you help me out?
Guy #2: A forty? Uh, I have an orange if you want.
Guy #1: Nah, I live in front of a fruit stand.
–8th Street between 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: E Martinez
PR girl #1: I love your outfit today!
PR girl #2: You know, I was walking down the street, and this homeless man in a box told me that “Purple is the color of royalty.”
PR girl #1: Don’t joke about that. I could be joining him, if my apartment doesn’t come through.
PR girl #2: At least he lives in Manhattan.
–Office, 53rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Roger Resnicoff
Hobo: Hey dude, got a drink?
Guy: No, man. If I gave you a drink I’d be enabling you. You know what that is? I’ll be helping you by not getting you a drink.
Hobo: You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.
–St. Marks & 1st
Overheard by: Jasmine Moy
