Hobo #1: But why would you want to go into space for a million dollars? Seems like a waste.
Hobo #2: Because they haven’t come out with hovertrains yet!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Kevin Cox
Hobo #1: But why would you want to go into space for a million dollars? Seems like a waste.
Hobo #2: Because they haven’t come out with hovertrains yet!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Kevin Cox
Hobo: Oh, lady got some nice threads. Those be Gucci or Calvin Klein or some shit like that?
Preggers: No sir, these threads be maternity.
–R train
Hobo: Do you have the time?
Guy: Quarter past seven.
Hobo: Do you think we’ll make it?
Guy: To where?
Hobo: To wherever we’re going.
Guy: Yes.
–D train
Overheard by: Dan Cunningham
White lady: As a black man, how do you feel about Al Sharpton?…Because I know how I feel about him, but I’m not black.
–Office, Park Avenue
Overheard by: Peasant
Hobo: …Lick Al Sharpton’s balls! Suck out his asshole! You’re Democrats! It’s your job!
–18th & 7th
Overheard by: A & J
A hobo has a cardboard sign that says “Ninjas killed parents, need money for Kugn [sic] Fu lessons.”
A cop comes up, and the hobo says: I don’t know why. I’ve already had five police come by and bother me today.
–14th & 5th
Overheard by: Casey
(cf. This guy.)
Hobo: You man, got a dollar?
Suit: Yeah, got change for a hundred?
–Water & Wall
Chick #1: Hoboken just sounds dirty to me.
Chick #2: Why? Because like, “hobos”?
Chick #1: Yeah.
Chick #2: Well, it’s uplifting. Like, “hobos can!” get their lives together. It’s not called “hobo can’t.”
–9th Street PATH station
Drunk girl: I can’t believe I have to take this train to Hoboken! This is horrible! Thank God it’s just for tonight, I can’t imagine doing this every day! This is the worst!
Guy: Where in the city do you live?
Drunk girl: I live in Rutherford.
–PATH train
Overheard by: kt
Hobo: Hey, are you trying to get laid today?
Chick: No, not today.
Hobo: Well give me your number.
–Union Square
Hobo: I am the king, bow down before me…The president of the United States is a retarded fuck. American people don’t care about life. Why fight for America? Fuck sending a bunch of people over there to kill and be killed. It’s ridiculous. Bush thinks it’s okay. He’s the dictator, he’s the bad man. If I ever get my hands on him, I’m gonna torture his ass. I’ll cut his dick off. I’ll take a pipe from the fireplace and stick it up his ass. I’m the king. I’ll always be the king. I say this…Don’t ever believe America. America is godless. The people are full of shit. Anyone who goes to war for America has got to be out their motherfuckin’ mind.
–Central Park
Overheard by: psd
Hobo #1: Yo, man, yo, come on, I’ma fuck you up.
Hobo #2: Ain’t gon’ be no fightin’ out here, brother. You gon’ be fightin’ all by yo’self.
Hobo #1: Aight, yo, come on then, I’ll fuck me up first, then I’ll fuck you up, too!
–outside the Bowery Mission
Overheard by: Shane
