Girl: Stop flirting with me, my friend just died.
–Central Park SummerStage
Girl: Stop flirting with me, my friend just died.
–Central Park SummerStage
Girl #1: Well…I think it will work out okay…I mean, it’s just so nice and thick.
Girl #2: Well, let me tell you…it’s just the way I was born. I looked at that and I was like, that’s huge! I’m gonna die!
–34th & Park
Overheard by: mariana
Girl #1: Offer him a chip.
Girl #2: Okay. Would you like a chip?
Hobo: Young lady, are you teasing me?
–6 train
A boyfriend and girlfriend are making out publicly. She stares at his crotch.
Girlfriend: I think I see a suspicious package…
Boyfriend: Ooh, do you wanna detonate it?
Girlfriend: Well damn, not on the train, babe!
–2 train
Guy: Golden retrievers are beautiful animals. If I were a golden retriever, I would be so vain!
–Shade, Sullivan Street
Guy on cell: Oh, you want a doggy treat? When I get home I’ll give you a big fat bone.
–34th & 8th
Woman: Peter! Dog poop is not a toy!
–CPW & 65th Street
Overheard by: Johnathan
Engineer #1: I would poke her, man. I would poke the life out of her.
Engineer #2: I have poked her. I have poked the life out of her.
Girl, walking by: Look, you two need to get laid. Facebook means nothing to us girls; we get a billion pokes a day.
–Brooklyn Polytechnic Institute
Middle Aged Woman: I’d like to get some hard salami, but I’d like to see it first.
Serious Deli Man: You would like to see my hard salami? [goes to get it and brings it out to show her]Woman: Is it very hard salami? How hard is the salami?
Serious Deli Man: Ma’am, I don’t think it is hard enough for you.
–Fairway Market
Overheard by: Jen
Chick #1: He’s so hot.
Chick #2: Eww.
Chick #1: What eww?
Chick #2: Um, he’s wearing a shirt that says “Spin my dreidel, and by dreidel I mean cock, and by spin I mean suck”.
Chick #1: That is a valid point.
–Asylum, Bleecker Street
Overheard by: djlindee
Woman #1: I’m so going to get pregnant this year so I can have a tummy tuck done cheaper.
Woman #2: Fuck that. Go to Vietnam. They do liposuction for, like, five bucks. They call it ‘five dollar sucky sucky.’
–6th Ave, West Side
Overheard by: Raychel
Chick: Is marijuana vegan?
Father: It is unless you roll it in elephant hide. Or foreskin.
Mother: A joint rolled in foreskin would give you two pleasures at once!
–13th between 5th & 6th
Overheard by: Colin
