Construction worker #1 to hot girl: Damn baby, did it hurt? You know, when you fell from heaven?
Hot girl: (looks back and rolls her eyes)
Construction worker #2: Your name must be Candy 'cause you look so sweet!
Hot girl: (looks back and rolls her eyes again, laughing a little)
Construction worker #3: Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
Hot girl (laughs hysterically): That's gotta be the best I've ever heard!
–65th & Broadway
Overheard by: Right to the point. Nice.
Ten-year-old wannabe thug: I'ma put this can of pepper spray up your ass! You want me to put this up your ass?!
–Old Navy, Harlem
Worried bearded 50-something: Yeah, but how are we going to film an anal birth!?
–F Train
Street vendor selling his wares: I will shove your foot up the devil's ass!
–St Mark's Place
Yankee stadium employee yelling to another: Hey, wouldja bend over for a minute? I'll be right back!
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: torrie
Gay teen: His hole was as big as a traffic cone!
–1st & 14th
Sinfully ugly girl: I have to stop putting things in my ass.
–forever 21 (queens center mall)
Overheard by: defragment my harddrive
Woman: When I got into college I entered into a world of sausage.
Man: Uh…
Woman: Come on!
–D Train
Overheard by: pop pop
Little white girl: Hey, that’s a cool pack.
Little black boy: Thanks! Have you ever taken the D train?
Little white girl: No.
Little black boy: It goes all the way to Africa.
–6 train
Overheard by: Nick Kindelsperger
Woman: That’s enough pushing, people. I’m pregnant and I’m nice and tight up in here.
Guy: That’s why you got pregnant!
–6 train
Overheard by: john chianese
Small child, trying a Sprite: I don’t like it.
Dad: If you don’t like the taste, just spit it out.
Mom: I’ve heard that one before.
–33rd & 7th
Overheard by: Brian Flanagan
Letch: So, are you traveling for business or pleasure?
PYT: Neither, I’m going to see my mother.
–JFK Airport bar
Chick: So I said to him, “Your mom’s dead, so why don’t you chill with us on Mother’s Day?”
–Thompson & Houston
Overheard by: Tommy Raiko
NYU nerdy chick on cell: The oral is going to be super hard. …But I think I’ll be good at it.
–NYU
Overheard by: kat
Clerk, to female co-worker: I keep my meat to the side.
–Walgreens, Atlantic Ave
Girl: Bite and suck, bite and suck, bite and suck!
–Szechuan Restaurant
Overheard by: tallierand
Female customer to employee: …the gum that has the things in it. She likes to chew on the ones with the blue balls.
–Duane Reade, Fresh Meadows
Overheard by: evan FM
College sophomore: … So yeah, I said "Mom, stop rotating my pickle!"
–USA #1 Deli, La Salle & Broadway
Overheard by: Xiao Hoah Dze
Father to younger son: So you like second base right?
–Douglaston Market, Queens
Overheard by: Noelle
Queer #1: I could fly from here to San Francisco.
Queer #2: Straight?
–19th & Broadway
Server: Oh no, not you again! Whatchoo want?
Customer: ‘talian col’ cut.
Server: Whatchoo want on it?
Customer: I said ‘talian col’ cut!
Server: Whatchoo want on it?
Customer: Damn baby, I want you on it!
Server: Shit, you wouldn’t even know what to do with me!
Customer: Damn baby, I eat that shit!
–Bed-Stuy deli
