A woman at the next table is eating kielbasa with cole slaw.
Queer: Ew, that is so gross!
Woman: Do you want to know what’s gross? Sucking on someone’s cock that has just been in your ass.
–Veselka, 2nd Avenue
A woman at the next table is eating kielbasa with cole slaw.
Queer: Ew, that is so gross!
Woman: Do you want to know what’s gross? Sucking on someone’s cock that has just been in your ass.
–Veselka, 2nd Avenue
Black woman: I’ll mess you up! I’ll be waiting for you downstairs, you man-on-man faggot! White trash!
White queer: You don’t scare me! I’ve dealt with the feds, I can
deal with you!
–Welfare office, Boerum Hill
Overheard by: Sheep Overhearder
Black woman: Take that bag off your back.
White man: All it takes are two words: “excuse” and “me”.
Black woman: I’m not saying nothing to you.
White man: Sorry, I see that you only use your mouth for one thing, and that’s sucking dick.
Black woman: You are so rude. Take that back.
White man: Okay, I am sorry. I take it back. You also use your mouth for eating, as seen by the size of your enormous ass.
–4/5 train
Two teens are watching Jeopardy! through a store glass window.
Teen boy #1: I can read lips; that guy said he liked to suck cock.
Teen boy #2: You mean, “What is, ‘I like to suck cock’?”
–14th & B
Overheard by: meghan
Girl: Yeah…but I have my period, so we can’t have sex.
Guy: That doesn’t matter. See? It just shows that I love you.
Girl: What it shows is that you want head.
–St. Marks & 3rd
Overheard by: Brock
Hippie guy on cell: Nathan, I don’t care how drunk you were, if you’re giving a blowjob, you know you’re giving a blowjob.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Mr. Donutsu
Guy #1: So how was your Rosh Hashanah?
Guy #2: I got a blowjob at a movie theater. Since I was watching Flightplan does that count as mile high?
–23rd & Lexington
Overheard by: dan levin
Guidette #1: So I called her and she says, “I gotta get off the phone, I’m naked, wet from the shower” and she started mumbling.
Guidette #2: That’s just like her. She’s always naked with something in her mouth.
–Downtown Brooklyn
Overheard by: Koaloha
Asian suit: They were talking about how these 7th grade girls were trading blowjobs for pot.
White suit: When I was in 7th grade, I didn’t even know what pot was, or what blowjobs were. I was too busy playing video games and watching Star Wars.
Asian suit: I was in SAT prep class.
–51st & Lexington
Guy #1: Tell me something exciting. I need to live vicariously. All I do is work.
Guy #2: In Paris, a criminal on rollerblades sucked my dick.
–Houston between 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: kevin redman
Girl #1: …so we are at this audition and they ask us to step out and say what we like to do in our spare time. So this guy steps out and says “discussing philosophy”. I mean, how pretentious can you get?
Girl #2: Well, what did you expect him to say? “Getting my dick sucked by total strangers”?
–68th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Betty Noir
