Enthusiastic teenager, waving hands emphatically: If you can deep throat a banana, you can suck a dick!

Tallahassee, Florida

Overheard by: If you can wax a car…

Loud girl: Would you rather have cheese or oral sex?

Amherst, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Emily

Concerned-looking boyfriend: Yes, but it might not be kosher.
Indifferent Londoner girlfriend: I don't think it's an issue.
Concerned-looking boyfriend: I dunno… If I eat pork… And you suck me off… Does that mean my cum is non-kosher?
Indifferent Londoner girlfriend: Sweetie, I told you, I'm Jewish, but when it comes to jizz I just don't care.

Leamington Spa

Overheard by: Bleep

Professor: Suppose a woman goes in for a haircut. No, that's not right! What are they called if they're for women? Blow-something. Blowjobs?

Overheard by: econ 208

Fat guy: So, I was getting head when all of a sudden I got this case of explosive diarrhea! I shitted everywhere, dude!

University of Hartford
West Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Joa

Professor: People break laws all the time, like stop signs and oral sex.

Crazy bag lady, loudly: I don't suck dick for pussy! I don't suck dick for pussy! I don't suck dick for pussy!
(sits down next to another passenger on the subway)
Crazy bag lady, now in passenger's face: I don't suck dick for pussy!
(female passenger gets up and moves)
Crazy bag lady: Why you jumping? Why you jumping, bitch!? You weren't jumpin' last night when that guy put his long ass dick in you last night!
Female passenger: Excuse me, ma'am, don't say that to me! You don't know me!
(subway train stops)
Conductor: City Hall station!
Female passenger: Excuse me, sir, there's a crazy lady on the subway harassing the other passengers.
Conductor: Oh, could you point her out to me?
(female passenger points to crazy woman yelling)
Conductor: Ma'am, are you bothering people?
Crazy bag lady: Why you tryin' to fuck me standing up!? Why don't you fuck me lying down like a gentleman!
Conductor: Ma'am, I'm calling the police.

Broad Street Line Subway
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Biology teacher: [badly draws a woman singing into a microphone, which looks suspiciously like a woman about to give head] If you take this, for example…
[class laughs]Biology teacher: [steps away from board and sees what class is laughing about] Uh…[erases drawing]… We’re just not going to draw today.


Guy #1: Dude, how do you blow smoke rings!
Guy #2 jokingly: It is the same as sucking dick.
Guy #1: Oh, okay! (blows smoke rings effortlessly)
Guy #2: Do you need to tell me something, man?

Hookah Bar
Colorado Springs, Colorado

Drunk chick: Look, this is going to take five seconds. I just want to say hi, suck him off, and then we can leave.

Overheard by: