Not Quite a Match with Wednesday One-liners

Guy: Oh, excuse me!…Want to make out?

–Centre & Chambers

Overheard by: Chris

Older man: …so they served these smaller things, like appetizers, in between the three main courses. You know how many they gave us? Four! There were four intercourses…

–West 53 Street office

Girl on cell: He shoots dope and smokes crack! I can’t think of a worse person for you to sleep with!…well, yeah, I guess…

–81st & Madison

Girl: I’d blow him every day if he’d let me drive his beamer more.

–Sheep’s Meadow

Tween girl: Shit, if I were 21, and he was like, “Yo, do you want some
beer?”, I’d be like, “Shit, only if you got a hotel room.” ’cause then
we could, like, go in it.

–Starbucks, 34th & 7th

Overheard by: marissa

Daily News guy: …and I said, “Just take me now, bitch!”

–Bar 288, Elizabeth Street

DMV guy: Who’s here for oral? Did anyone in this line sign up for oral?

–DMV, Atlantic Avenue Center

Overheard by: RMC

Posted on November 10, 2025
Advice, Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, BJs, Drinking & Drunk People, Food, Hard Drugs, Offers and requests, Pick-up Lines, Sex, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary, Words

Hmm…I Guess That Should Read “Queer”

Guy #1: How do you inhale the smoke like that?
Guy #2: You have to be able to breathe solely through your nostrils. I learned how by sucking a lot of dick.

–12th Street & 2nd Avenue

Posted on September 23, 2025
BJs, Guys, Penis, The Village

Nothing Beats Soft Blow from a White Brooklyn Chick

White guy: Did I tell you I met a White chick?
Girl: No…do you like her?
White guy: She’s cool. She’s from Brooklyn, so that softens the blow.

–Times Square

Posted on August 20, 2025
BJs, Brooklyn, Relationships, Times Square, White People

Wednesday One-liners are a Special Area

Guy: I got both, bitch! I got a pussy and a dick!

–6th Avenue & 9th Street

Chick: He was my rag guy! What am I going to do now? I’m gonna dry up. If you stick your ear up to my vagina you’re going to hear the fucking desert like it’s a seashell.

–43rd & 5th

Overheard by: James Wilson

Burkha woman: …when you remove a man’s genitals, it’s a sin.

–Port Authority

Guy on cell: I’m busy. I’m getting my dick sucked right now.

–4 train

Overheard by: LatiE

Guy: It wasn’t till I started college that I realized they had botched the circumcision. We had all just flopped them out and I was like, “Dude, what is wrong with yours?”, and they were like, “No man, it’s you, what the fuck happened to you? It looks like the fucking rings of saturn.”

–38th & 3rd

Suit: If you’re a dick you can do anything.

–Maiden Lane & Pearl Street

Overheard by: SKG

Man on cell: So I was trying to take a pee and she kept talking to me, so then my dick got hard and I couldn’t pee.

–25th & 5th

Overheard by: Ian Wheeler-Nicholson

Lady on cell: He’s a hermaphrodite…he was born that way…his grandparents, thats why. Genetic mutations and stuff.

–50th & Madison

Chick: But he has a pierced dick! They don’t sell that shit in stores!

–SI party

Overheard by: Rebecca Dash

Posted on August 14, 2025
All Wednesday One-Liners, BJs, Body Parts, Circumcision, Dildos and Vibrators, Family Ties, Manhattan, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, On the Subway, Pee, Penis, People, Places, Port Authority, Private Parts, Sex, Staten Island, The Village, Topics, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Women

Also, He Gives Immaculate Head

Queer: who would you rather go out with: Jesus or me?
Girl: Jesus. He can give me eternal life.

–F train

Posted on July 16, 2025
BJs, Gifts, Jesus, Queer guys

Listen to Preppy; He Knows What He’s Talking About

Flaming queer: What you whiteboys don’t realize is that the foreskin is not a chew toy. Maybe a little biting is OK, but don’t go down on it like a stick of Trident.
Preppy queer: This is totally going to end up on Overheard if you don’t quiet down.
Flaming queer: I’m Puerto Rican; we’re a loud people. It’s all of the drums.

–Candle Bar, Amsterdam Avenue

Posted on April 6, 2025
Bars & Clubs, BJs, Overheard Overheard, Penis, Preppies, Queers, Race

I Am So Losing My Cable Modem

Girl: …and he says to me, “DSL”.
Boy: DSL?
Girl: I was like, “DSL, what the fuck does that mean?”.
Boy: What did he say?
Girl: “Dick Suckin’ Lips.” And I said, now hold on–
Boy: Damn…

–58th & 8th

Overheard by: Ed C

Posted on March 15, 2025
BJs, Boys, Girls, Internet, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen

Next Summer: Three-Way Calling

Chick #1: She spent the whole summer blowing guys in the top bunk.
Chick #2: That’s gross.
Chick #1: Yeah, I woke up one morning and she was like, “I hope I didn’t keep you up with my fellatio”, and I was like, “No, I got a phone call and I don’t need to hear about your sex life.”

–2nd Avenue station

Overheard by: Wilsun Filups